Watch: Why I Rejected US and Sweden: Decision to Return to India

4:09 Questions no thanks a lot hon for that high level overview looks like you have experience living in Europe us you know to understand the different cultures the one thing and also you have lived you know abroad lived in India and then spent some time in abroad and then finally you know decided to U be back in India so if you're okay I think you kind of touched about it you know people who are in this dilemma like the things that you have been like you know going in your mind you know I know you mentioned like distress or you know Disturbed or you know the Dilemma if you're okay okay and if you can speak you know the things that you're going in my mind in your mind and then how you thought through and how you made a decision because that could be helpful to so many people who might be in the Dilemma stage so that's why I just you know would love to know if if you're okay to share I think it would be lot of valuable insights there definitely definitely and I'm telling you since 200000 or 2001 so many

5:10 Indians see see the circle the it grown in India and before NRI was going to foreign country was very little in quantity after 2000 the people are going like anything and now you will see the the way they are going out of those some percentage like you me and it may be 2% 5% 10% people will start coming back and already coming back that is reverse migration and it will happen very heavily I tell you why because we think that it's happening with us only but it's common phenomena and happening with every NRI few people are okay to tackle because of their financial condition in India they have so many liability but if people are living okay in India and also living living okay there they are always in Denmar I'll give you specific examples okay when I was in Sweden it's

6:11 Like six six month of very you know Summers and six month it's winter and also it's like six month there's a complete night you can say means because it's near to North Pole so the sun will you will be able to see the sun sunlight only in 10 days or within 15 days then there are two days there's a sun and there another one week there's no sun and in fact you will see sunlight in the morning 900 a.m. 10: a.m. and then again 3 300 p.m. or 4 p.m. it's again dark night so this is this winter is very harsh and the first winter I I was able to enjoy that okay snowfall we never seen that and we were able to roam around multiple country I I've been to almost 14 country in Europe within two years okay so we enjoyed but what about after first year you visited those country next year you

7:11 Have nothing to do and second thing there are small small thing like winter and then this darkness and then loneliness when you see your relatives your family family friends they are getting married they have kids their celebration happening and and you are not attending there you're not going there right so you you start feeling that I'm missing so many thing and then again the parents thing those parent who were really proud when you were going for the first time and then suddenly that proud and that Pride goes down and then the reality the ground reality comes then when they need you for going to hospital when they need you for not for financially financially you can help from there also but they need you in person because that is something nobody else can help you on the day-to-day basis okay so there are so many things and when I was in dilemma I

8:13 Was searching on YouTube that is there anything who can help that why it is happening am I the only person or other people also facing the same thing because it's because when you start thinking about going back the first thing comes in the mind the kids future and almost nine out of 10 AR stuck on this point the it future and then nobody thinks the the second level means second order thinking that we were the generation our parents never been to outside of India they were very lower middle class or middle class people we were never exposed to so many luxuries and all we were able to make it to us and other country why can't our kids can't do that that's what that's what my thought and my son born there in us he is a US citizen and if I stayed in Sweden I would have the Sweden Swedish citizen within four year I was there two

9:14 And a half year it was just one year left right so it was a very tough decision that if I just stay one more year I can be Citizen and this is the second I think dilemma every NRI goes into this that it's just one year left it's just five year left it's just 10 year that green card cycle that labor labor card that i140 cycle that citizenship cycle is never ending so there are so many people in dilemma and NRI and when I search on YouTube I found nothing there are people who who has made a video about their Journey when they came back that yes we came back and this is experience I found couple of videos that but we they never detailed each and every point that how to tackle this feeling how to tackle this skute future thing how to tackle this financial thing how to tackle this job thing of what what job I will get

10:16 Would it be and how much expensive is India now and what are the luxury where I have to you know trade off or compromise if because everyone is looking at the side of there is a standard life standard of living in foreign country but in India you will have to compromise in so many other things but things have been changed and drastically in last five year I would say so that is why I decided that I will start a vlock where I will talk about each and every Point first I will made a video make a video that why I came back those 10 reasons and then one video for each of that reason in detail what is the answer why I think I can deal with that in India and finally the expenses and when you come here you need at least six month of handholding I mean how to adjust in the culture if

11:17 You are coming after 10 year or 15 year 20 the India you left and the India is now is totally different you are coming on the on the vacation that is totally different you come here for one month you come you meet your family you never deal with the administration thing AAR card passport and so many other thing right and the property thing and how to deal with the administrative thing because it was really tough tough time if you go to some government office in India it's really it's really headed so things gone to online UPI and so many other things so I decided let's start this journey start explaining in detail about each and every point and believe me my user base was not that great it was very very small but one of my video that I think two two lakhs or 2.3 lakhs people watched and then after that they started watching my Vlog and then they connected what I'm saying and after

12:20 That they connected over over call on the Instagram and then I I always help them I I asked them okay just wait for the weekend I I I make some time free for you guys in my personal life and then I sometime I take call for two three people over the weekend and then I give them advice I give them personal I ask them to watch my video and then anything left then call me then I personally help them and I'm happy to say now hundreds of family has been shifted and I have full of my inbox from their thank you messages so this is it no yeah thanks hmon for sharing that again U kudos to you and congratulations you know for you know sharing your journey the reasons and providing the facts you know at least from your perspective so that people can get a perspective and help them in their decision process and also like taking personal time to guide them and help helping them out with their Journey

13:22 Yeah so I think you kind of touched I think you know just before covid you have decided to move I mean is there any specific reason the timing played like just the co just curious I mean you know people have that in the back of the mind but there is always one specific trigger point or like that determines the timeline is there something that you are expecting from a Milestones or you just like yes let's move forward he just like made a decision and move forward if you can explain that a little bit I think that would be very helpful sure my last moment from because I us I I got a chance to stay but I moved back because I'm going to take you back to us first and then I'll I'll come to this Sweden okay three and a half year when I was living in US everything was okay but somehow I was not happy okay from inside I was getting five things but I was missing 15 te so I couldn't recognize

14:23 That what are those thing so when I got a chance my Visa was getting over at then I was 50/50 means I was even I also wanted to live but I was confused so I came back I thought that no it happens with so many an that they came back they are not able to adjust and then then they go back right so until then I was not clear I came back and then I thought no no no no I think I did a mistake and within two three year I think financially it's not a good decision and of at that point of time for to secure some money and being financially independent at least loan-free apartment or something to secure some Financial Independence so I decided no no let's go back again then when it started happening that okay I was not happy when I was meeting to new people the energy was not same I was not able to make

15:25 Friends the way I was making in India the way openly I discuss my personal thing with my childood friend or any in fact the colleagues I was not able to do that there and it was very robotic life means the event which is happening today 23rd January will be same happening on next year 23rd January and I just noted down the pattern then it's the same life every day every time and you have to make and the we when the weekend coming you have to make plans for the weekend something is not coming to you is in India the plan will come to you that there's a ceremony there's a birthday there's a you know family needs you you have to visit here you have to visit there there's a cricket match there's so many so it was like a robotic life and in the mind something was missing and it was increasing day by day I was not

16:27 Happy okay but I was saving the money that was a motivation and and people has to do that right so and then I I was confused and before Corona I decided okay this is my last year I'll go back because this is never- ending process that how much money I should save and what would be the year when I decide to go back and I was not getting that answer and that is is you know you get a kick now this is the day this is the month you should go back Corona was just a catalyst I would say or just a event happened but that was not the main reason yeah mean I told you the pregnancy and then Corona and then we were not sure that we will get the help Ina people were not even talking to each other they were not even knocking to each other gate it was happening in Corona as well but here is

17:27 The difference but your family will drive thousand mil for you within your country if you need them M you will go for them but in Corona there was no one talking in there was a stage Ben everything was closed even the Indian grocery was not coming from India and Pakistan after 15 days there was no wheat or there is no at left so there were situations because we are vegetarian and that to North Indian right so there were situation when it it made me realize that no no no this is not this is not the way and this is the loop where I cannot come out even after I save more than I need until because what happens today you think three crores is enough for you or two CR is enough for you right five year down the line it's not it's not true situation will change yeah and early

18:28 Retire m is something you are doing the relax job after 40 it's not that you will retire and you not work that's not possible even after 60 that's not possible or possible is there means people do that but that's not a great idea what you do whole day and what is the contribution then to society so it was my idea I'll earn less but that's okay but at least I will be happy with my people with my family with my friend my my wife was not happy even I keep asking my son that is the also the triggering point that do you want to go back do you want to go back I keep asking and every time he said yes because he he he he was missing because what happened in in the foreign country you make friends there let's suppose you invested one year now you have two three good friends at your location right next year what will happen

19:28 Either one of them or two of them the Visa is expired they will go back or they will be settled somewhere else or they will switch the job they will go somewhere then again you will start you will have to start from zero until unless do you have friends who are permanently settled at one place and permanently there the people who own Visa not citizen they have the different cycle they have different mindset you have to call them on the party and then you have they will call you on the party if you call them two time they will call you two time there'll be no attachments thing that would be that friendship I'm not generalizing it there are people who are like brother who are like sisters and means they are living like family I'm not generalizing it but they may be permanent there and they they are living for years but for the people in this cycle last 20 year they're living people are coming people are going so I did multip time that I made friends again

20:31 They went back or they gone somewhere else again I made and then I I I I give up means I can't make friends like this mean it's it's it's not real yeah okay yeah no thanks for sharing that so just to maybe dive in a little bit I know you spent some time about two to three years in India after you lived in us and then wanted to explore in different country because at that time you're still not sure in terms of you know it's a good move or not and then later realize that it's definitely this is what you want to do and made the permanent move right so my question is more about maybe you know the living style have you seen a difference in terms of your time in like 2015 to 2017 in that range if I'm understanding it correctly and then after you move in 2020 in terms of you know the lifestyle in India that one aspect was there anything like a Clarity wise that made a

21:31 Difference you know that helped you with that permanent decision and anything you can touch about maybe you know I think the one point you already mentioned is the cost of living or some of these aspects right so I know there are like three to three or four aspects to this like you know your life when you are living in India after spend spending some time abroad in 2015 2017 and then now anything that you can compare and contrast or anything that you can share from that perspective yes see I realized when I came back from us there were some Societies in gulwa where the lifestyle is even better than us if you have money correct so if you are earning very good and you have already some corpus with you if you can purchase the apartment in those society means you have you don't have to go outside of apartment for anything if you want everything will come at your door step but you need money for that so that one

22:33 Thing I realized that at the early ages I should be securing Some More Corpus that is one thing already I was living in Mahindra apartment so they were really good and the facilities because in us I am a sports man okay other than it I almost play five or six Sports I love dancing I love also music and parties and I'm very social I have big big big you know pool of friends here and big family around me in Delhi so it's like always busy with the family friends and there's no space for depression or loneliness for me right the only thing was if you are earning good money then it is really simple simple here okay so the fun thing I realize I'm living in Mahindra apartment it's a good lifestyle but I can live in dlf apartment it is way better than us

23:36 So there's a space if I go back again that that made me take a decision to go back again to seden right if I go back then I can afford that lifestyle as well that was one thing second thing the depth or loan okay one thing I realize in India means with the 15 year or 10 year experience you can earn handsome money the only thing which which keep keeps keeps you down or pull pull your leg is your debts or loans okay so I decided that I should not be having loan at that time there was no loan but I was thinking of taking the apartment and that that is something a huge money more than cor and or so so that that made me realize that if you at least earn this much money that you can take a home without

24:36 Loan then this Indian salary is also good enough to spend right because you don't have thatb the kids are going to school you are having a good lifestyle and even after that you're saving at least 20% of your salary 20 or 30% okay let's suppose you have one lack of salary for example and 70,000 you're spending and at least you are sometime 20,000 sometime 30,000 but that is something will secure your future your kids Future Okay in in equity or in mutual fund or something like that in down the line 10 to 15 year it will be it will become some 50 lakh or one CR or two CR depending you will also grow you will also get promotion you will also have two lakh three lakh and four lakh salary so at that point of time it is it is something I calculated that I think one more shot is required so that was the financially I I

25:39 I thought about it second I thought that okay if I go to Europe at least I get a chance to visit 20 25 countries right and us is already done Philippines was already done Denmark was already done so multiple country I already did before this Sweden move so I thought okay let's go and I also have a hobby of you know traveling the world so one of the hobby for sports and other things so I thought okay let's go one more time and kid is only five year or seven year it's okay I think he was six or seven year at that time so and that that was only the first kid right so that made me realize okay we can go next time one more time and also the living standard will be as per my desire once I come back after three or four years so that was the reason yeah okay now thanks for

26:43 Sharing that I think especially the key part of maybe you know acquiring that Corpus fund or the financial buffer that you want to have the better life you know compared to what you had so I think this could help people who are thinking and you know just adap so if you are okay again you know from a career planning or career transition so when you moved from Sweden was it an internal transfer or like you like left and then you try to find a job here after moving just curious because there are a lot of questions people like you know try to find or ask about you know career transition or career planning when they're thinking about moving to India so anything that you can share from that perspective it was internal transfer I was lucky in that way because that is one of the biggest reason people people are stuck there and people are not able to move back because they can't find the right match so the internal transfer helped me both the time so it was smooth means that's not a that was not a problem for me it was my decision or

27:44 Some I have to align with the project requirement and the timing yeah when what the best time to come back or where the best time to go again otherwise I didn't I I was not in that League where I have to find the job and where I where I have to search the job yeah okay that's very helpful the other one is how old was your son I think you mentioned he was born in us right so was he like you know how old was he and how how has his you know life being you know which school or like in curriculum does he go to just if you can share anything yeah he was 2 and a half when he came back to India and and and then he started his schooling in India so it was like the only problem was Hindi MH otherwise he was good in you know English and in the first or second class I think he was he was good in all the subject the Hindi we have to support at home and in terms of behavior I would

28:48 Say he was not able to make friends like he was very reserved in nature only limited to his parents right me and my wife and when we came back he was not mingling with grandparents and you know my sister my brother their kids but within one year hly Diwali all those rsha Naki all those thar Festival we celebrated together and then you know we went to each other home for patang kites or other festival he was enjoying like hell he was it it is like freedom for him he was feeling always alone alone now he has a cousins who is playing with him and who is like after him means it was care which was missing other than parents and also you know he

29:49 He got something which was very unique to him MH so he was very happy here He adjusted I didn't got any hiccup adjusting here and one point is something I would like to mention here which is there for most of the NRI where they where they are facing challenge is wife and husband are not on the same page see we have to talk about this this is ground reality right yeah we have to talk on the real issues so when when these two people are not on the same page about return to India or about anything major decisions small thing is okay it will continue for the whole life but if you're coming back to India and that is once someone's decision imposed on other that will make your experience bitter or different make sure these two people are on boarded before coming to India and they

30:51 Should be enjoying when coming back to India each and everything otherwise one will keep bitching about the you know disadvantage or the problems in India who has been imposed right yeah so these two people should be on the same page and we were on the same page so we as a family were happy for sure I mean I think I know as you rightly said it's an important decision and both spouses has to be on the same page and you also have to have like a strong Drive in terms of why you're moving because there is no perfect place anywhere right I mean it's in India or abroad or someplace it's the the key reasons why you wanted to stay in one place at that phase of the life and why it's so critical so that you can navigate some of the minor issues that come across in the life so I think those two plays a very very big role for any move like you know whether it's moving to India or moving to some other country or any other place but I think as you said right

31:51 Yeah so yeah go ahead one thing from your statement is there any perfect place in the world to be to get settled I would say no I'll tell you why okay I lived in silan Valley for two years that was close to perfect I would say the weather was damn good the S was damn good I I was driving Audi there okay which I can't afford in India so I was happy something but at the end of second year or third year I realized there's something missing so what is that so for every person for every individual there's a list of something which is different for each and every person and he can't find everything at one place right that and that the answer of this what is missing it took me six year to get that answer then otherwise I would have not

32:52 Gone to student right what is missing what is the problem okay and I I tell you that that there's no State answer is it because parents is it because facilities there are multiple things like over the weekend I have to play cricket simple one one example if I have to go to in us I have to search for the ground maybe 20 Ms 20 miles from my home I have to make teams I have to secure so many things and so many arrangement I have to do and that would be maybe with the Costco ball I want from the leather ball I'm giving you very basic example yeah here it's behind my department I can play whole week if I'm retired I I have money so that give me the happiness and that is my definition of Happiness yeah I want to visit my parent they are living two hours from my home and I don't want to plan it I want

33:53 Now now means now I'll take my car I'll go in two hours that is the one of my definition of Happiness right for sure as you rightly said right I think you know everybody has their own means of happiness and it just depends on what you want in the life and make a decision according so I'm just being mindful of the time so that you know we have you know most of the information you know that we want to cover sure so is there any topic that we haven't covered or any advice that you would like to give the future aspirants from your perspective future aspirant one advice see please don't think that I'm against going outside of India please go and explore please go explore learn and make yourself on the next level because yes that will give you maturity for Next Level however decide the time cycle because

34:54 There's one life you have to do so many things within this life so once you achieve that goal once you get that exposure try to come back and enjoy that money which you earn there okay and then also give it back to society and everyone has a different definition given back given back to society some people trying to make it business some people trying to do it for free some everything is okay do it in your own way but try to give it back to society little bit not much in fact from your own time and and also one last thing yeah that took me in 2008 okay when I I went to Denmark first time and I came out from my a aeroplane and when I landed on Denmark my taxi was Mercedes I still

35:57 Remember when I watch this this entire city Copenhagen and say why my country can't be can't be like this are we not capable enough or is there anything which God has given them extra and we are somewhere lagging behind I think it's all about the intent and capability that's what my answer I got I got this answer in so many decade in decade at least it took 10 years it's intent and your capability if the and I see in this India these both these two things are there intent and capability so there will be a day that it would be not financially forceful or it would be not for exposure it would be Choice when people want to go or not that is I'm looking forward in 20 30 years yeah that's my dream also no

36:58 Thanks for sharing your perspective right I think it's what people would like to do and their pH and and the one key thing that I wanted to underscore from what you said was don't think what India was 10 years back to what it is right now come spend some time understand it you know see around so that you have like a maybe more upto-date information that could help with your decision process are changing across the world but don't have the image of India what you have seen like maybe a decade back or 20 years back or even five years back things have been evolving and changing please have up toate information and make your decision you know decision is more important and don't let the life go by before you realize you know you might not have the same flexibility because the kids have grown up or some other commitments which you can't make the decision so that's all I wanted to underscore to what you have said so with with that thank you very much

37:58 Heon for taking the time and giving your insights you know from your own journey and also from the discussions that you had with you know hundreds of people whom you have helped with their Journey really appreciate and thank you once again yeah and I forgot to mention if people want my help they can watch my channel hon A a am you can search my name heon du on YouTube or you can connect me on Instagram hon du 7979 so if someone is need any help about the decision making about any experience I would love to help people so that's that's my ending note thank you n yeah we will keep these links in the YouTube description and then we also tag along it so that way people can reach out so yeah with that thank you all have a great day and see you next week bye-bye

39:00 Thank you all for joining us on this insightful journey of Dy return if you enjoyed this episode and want to explore more stories and expert advice make sure to subscribe and hit the notification Bell don't forget to leave a comment below with your thoughts and experiences by the way check out the links in the description below for our Facebook group and social media for updates and engaging discussions as well as connecting with fellow the wrers thank you once again and until next time may your da journey be filled with joy growth and endless possibilities