Why I Rejected US and Sweden: Decision to Return to India

After 11 years working across Denmark, the US, and Sweden, Harmon and his family returned to India in March 2020. What started as a career opportunity abroad turned into a cycle of loneliness, robotic routines, and constant friend turnover. When COVID-19 hit and his wife became pregnant, Harmon made the bold decision to leave Sweden—just one year before qualifying for citizenship—and return home. Today, he runs a YouTube channel helping hundreds of families navigate their own return journeys.

1️⃣ Background: The International Career Path

Harmon's international journey began in 2008 when he traveled to Denmark for a couple of months before his marriage. The experience sparked a desire to explore more countries. After marriage, he moved to the United States in 2011, where he worked for three to four years.

In 2015, family reasons brought him back to India, where he lived in Gurugram (Gurgaon) for three years. But the pull of international experience remained strong. In 2018, his company offered him a position in Sweden, and he accepted, planning to stay for the long term.

"I was in Sweden for two and a half or three years, and there was no plan initially. I was in dilemma, but suddenly in March 2020, Corona came, and at the same time my wife got pregnant."

2️⃣ The Trigger: When Everything Changed

The decision to return crystallized around three major factors:

"My wife was not happy, something was going on with us. We were not sure why this is happening. We were not happy."

3️⃣ The Citizenship Dilemma

One of the hardest parts of Harmon's decision was timing. He had been in Sweden for two and a half years and needed just one more year to qualify for Swedish citizenship. His son, born in the US, was already a US citizen.

This is what Harmon calls the "never-ending cycle" that traps many NRIs:

• ✓ Just one more year for citizenship
• ✓ Just five more years for the green card
• ✓ Just until the labor certification comes through
• ✓ Just until the I-140 is approved

Harmon caught the first Vande Bharat evacuation flight back to India when the government started repatriation operations.

4️⃣ The Friend Cycle Problem

Harmon identified a critical issue that many expats face but rarely discuss: the constant turnover of friendships.

"In the foreign country you make friends there. Let's suppose you invested one year, now you have two, three good friends at your location, right? Next year what will happen? Either one of them or two of them—the visa is expired, they will go back, or they will be settled somewhere else, or they will switch the job, they will go somewhere. Then again you will start, you will have to start from zero."

Solution: Unless you have friends who are permanent residents or citizens in one location, this cycle is unavoidable. Harmon gave up trying after multiple rounds of making and losing friends.

5️⃣ The Robotic Life Syndrome

Harmon describes expat life as "robotic"—the same events happening on the same dates every year, with weekends requiring advance planning rather than spontaneous family gatherings.

The Darkness Factor (Sweden-Specific)

Living near the North Pole meant extreme seasonal changes:

• 6 months of winter with very limited sunlight
• Sun visible only from 9-10 AM to 3-4 PM in winter
• First year was exciting (snowfall, travel to 14 European countries)
• Second year onward: the novelty wore off, and the darkness became oppressive

6️⃣ Life After Return: Gains & Struggles

7️⃣ Parenting & Education

"He was feeling always alone. Now he has cousins who are playing with him and who care for him. It was care which was missing other than parents."

The Spouse Alignment Rule

Harmon emphasizes this critical point: Both spouses must be on the same page about returning to India.

"When these two people are not on the same page about return to India or about anything major decisions... if you're coming back to India and that is one person's decision imposed on the other, that will make your experience bitter or different."

His advice: Make sure both partners are genuinely excited about the return, or one will keep focusing on the disadvantages and problems.

8️⃣ Top 10 Lessons from Harmon's Journey

1. The citizenship trap is real — There's always "just one more year." Set a deadline and stick to it.
2. Financial independence is the key — Focus on being loan-free, especially for housing. This makes Indian salaries viable.
3. The friend cycle never ends abroad — Unless your friends are permanent residents, you'll keep starting over.
4. Kids adjust better when younger — After age 10, it becomes significantly harder for children to adapt to India.
5. Parents' pride fades into need — The initial pride of having a child abroad turns into the reality of needing help with hospitals and daily life.
6. Second-order thinking matters — Your parents succeeded without foreign exposure. Why can't your kids? (Harmon's son is a US citizen but thriving in India.)
7. The 50/50 rule — If you're 50/50 on returning, you're probably 70% wanting to return but afraid of failure.
8. India has changed dramatically — The India you left 10-15 years ago is not the India of today. Visit and see for yourself.
9. Lifestyle can match or exceed abroad — With proper financial planning, you can live in societies (like DLF, Mahindra) that offer better facilities than the US.
10. Early retirement is a myth — Even after 60, you need purpose and contribution. Plan for meaningful work, not just relaxation.

✍️ Editorial Summary

Harmon's journey from Sweden to India during the pandemic reveals a truth many expats face but few discuss openly: the emotional toll of the "golden cage." Despite financial success, European travel, and the promise of citizenship, the robotic routine, constant friend turnover, and distance from family created a persistent unhappiness. His decision to leave Sweden just one year before qualifying for citizenship—while his wife was pregnant during COVID-19—took courage. Today, his YouTube channel and personal consultations have helped hundreds of families break free from the same cycle. His message is clear: there's no perfect time to return, but there is a right time—and it's when your heart tells you that no amount of money or status can replace the life you're missing back home.