Watch: Avoid These Mistakes: Lessons from an Unsuccessful Move to India from Ireland

4:06 This and all this you know when at some point after I mean children family your priorities and your goals changes and then I I felt like I'm not that much driven I'm less motivated and then you're you're doing all this regular jobs it I mean your professional and work balance basically I lost it one is taking over the other so in work I started feeling that it is a big burden for me and I was like you know maybe I was bit over perfectionist and when you are U trying to deliver what you used to deliver and you can't deliver the same now you feel like you're not up to the mark in in your professional side mhm but I forgot that my personal life has grown so much and my responsibility in

5:07 The personal life is so much needed compared to the professional life so at some point I felt work as burden where I used to enjoy my work so then you know it is a ripple effect then one problem comes then you are not happy at work when you come home you'll not be happy at home like you know and then you you have work lined up at home you have young children to look after bring them here there and you know you are needed for them so that point that pressure and everything I started feeling a p moment and I don't know if if I was going through a low period of time in my life but maybe I was I should acknowledge that you know we we we tend to go you know up and down in life you know mood is not always the same you could go down you know when you are not meeting your Professional Standards that may affect and I didn't realize that

6:10 I didn't seek any professional help so I sat down and I said like why am I struggling like this why am I running like this and then by this time I've bought a home and everything here so I've did a bit of a calculation okay right if I leave everything here like because my I bought the house in recession time so it was a very good price and my mortgage was like very less what I am paying so you know we Indian we calculate all these things yeah and I said even if I pay mortgage and everything leave it to rent I go home I get decent amount of cash and then run a business in India settle down which will like you know a normal life and everything so that happened around 2018 I was getting into all this planning part and started I mean

7:10 Because you have a home at home all you just have to do is pack your things and move and make other plans but that part I did a bit of research but that to be honest there wasn't enough information available like one or two went home but their cases were different but I held on to their case history and said I could do this as well how they managed to do now I reflect back and I think that that one particular person I was thinking had only one boy and he was he actually was born in India and then came here in in his early you know years and then going back was easy for him like in my case my children were born here and it's their home and I'm trying to take them away from home these are the things like you

8:11 Know I went but we'll go into that so when I went to India I did set up a a business like in my field so I my plan was to run a clinic set a knowledge what I gained here I want to bring it in India and run a better Clinic you know and I did set up everything hired doctors staff and everything but even then it was working okay like you know when you when you set up a business in India and when people know that you are you're just trying to come back and I think a lot of people try to take advantage of it that is one point I would stress anyone who's trying to move back to India and and set up a business you have to become a local and you have to understand the local market and even like certain things like you know staff where I've been so used being very staff

9:12 Friendly like it's not a dictatorship leadership in in Western countries as you know a you you probably worked in so many of those area so but I was trying to bring that similar culture in India I don't think people were ready for that at that point of a time you know and that is before Co so they thought maybe it's a easy cup of tea let let me grab it as well and everybody was just working for the money not as passionate and you know so that point but still I was making Revenue yeah it's not that it was it was looking after its own cost and everything but I wasn't making profit to come back completely so in my case what I did is basically I brought them family home but I didn't move completely 100

10:15 Percentage because I was testing the waters to see if everything is okay like will I be able to run smoothly before quitting everything here still I had some income everything but that was my kind of a testing period and importantly this is the point I want to really bring across I mean this is personal but I I would like to share this personal information because that's where I went wrong when I'm planning for this move it was my vision to go back to India because when I started my career back in 2006 I only came here for a few few years I remembered that and I wanted to go back but I didn't translate this much with my family especially I mean if you have a spouse and you need them 100

11:18 Percentage on on the same page otherwise this move is not possible and it is not going to be smooth so I didn't we didn't discuss much I was very yeah we I did it we we going to do it and I thought my children were young and I don't need to tell them like my daughter was 8 n years old at that time and I assumed that she will adjust and my youngest son was like only three 4 years and yeah he was too young adopting that ch change so this is when I went there I got the admission School admission and everything first thing I did was I found a very good school but not the right school I will Define what is the good school and the right school because the

12:19 Good school in in Indian terminology is producing result so I asked for reviews you know especially when you're doing a big move you ask people what which is school and which better school and everything and they said this school produces 100% result and there are so many doctors coming out of the school typical Indian mentality you know and this many Engineers coming out of it all this see this this particular doctor came from this school so I assumed that is the right school for my children and and how do they produce good results I didn't inquire into it so when everything admission everything was ready children were happy going into the school day one my daughter sees a child is being beaten by the teacher she was

13:20 Shocked we were so used to this we knew our culture so it was okay for us but for my my daughter who was brought up here and there was only like you know as you know like for up to certain period of age in the school they'll just pamper them and there is no much homework there's no much punishment it's only even if they are participating they'll give a medal right yeah that is not Indian culture and especially the school what I put them in was trying to make a competition out of the children trying to bring results but that's that is not supposed to be the goal for my children at that point and the homework amount of homework she got she couldn't tolerate it was it is a very good school so what I did is immediately I started

14:22 Looking for schools in a better which has a better culture so I did find it but my my problem was my daughter got admission in that school but my sons they didn't get admission but in the first school I got three of them in the same place so it so this this is another part where it is it is about to go wrong so maybe it's okay like I just want to check few things along the way I know covered a lot so I just want to peel it a little bit more that gives a little bit of clarity maybe before jumping onto the kids if we can focus on the career plan right I mean right you mentioned I think you wanted to you know test the waters you still working land and all that stuff so if you can talk a little bit on that like you know in the sense that for how long you tried that and then was there a decision that was made and then you permanently moved you know personally even the family was there so that that help a

15:22 Little bit of a Clarity so oh absolutely absolutely thanks for bringing back to that area you know as I said I set up a clinic which is a diabetic Clinic because I I still see a very huge potential in India diabetes is the biggest problem and basically I was trying to reverse the diabetes not not cure I was trying to reverse because it is a reversible condition so my plan was establish a clinic educate people and make them monitor regular blood sugars because the problem where we find is in India that you know this is a different topic but I just touch base on it that we are not monitoring so we don't know where when it is going to explode so I set up all this standards from here and education was major part of the clinic and obviously other other things working

16:23 Around that so I had actually special dietician special doctor counselors and name it like you know I wanted to really bring the same culture from here so that it will be different in India where people can really relate and come out of diabetes better management of diabetes so this Clinic was set up but I set it up in my own town which is kakari which is not a big city but because I have my home there and house set up there it's easy to look after family and everything I set it up there but U the point is then later on I thought like even if I set this business up in a bigger city Revenue wise I would have been better but it was running okay so this business I set up and I was running everything okay so far and as I wanted to mention I made the decision to

17:24 Come back in 2019 December just Co I heared covid and I actually started looking into Co yeah but I I thought this is going to be another epidemic which will just pass on as everybody thinks yeah and somebody you know some decisions the universal makes this is one moment in my life I thought that was made by the I mean you name it God or you could name it anything yeah mean I'm a firm believer of spirituality not religion but spirituality so there I was prompted to take that decision that is because of my son one morning I was traveling trying to travel back to Ireland he normally wouldn't wake up at 5:00 he woke up early morning and he started crying and that's where I I reflected and all so basically in that business

18:26 Time so in 200 20 February I was back in Ireland with okay my family I didn't know that in the next one and a half year two years it's going to be lockdown yeah and that's when I had to like that at that point my clinic was still running remotely with the promise that I will come back in a month and look after what is to be closed or to hand it over to somebody because I already had talks with some other doctors and everyone to take over the business but when the covid lockdown came I had to just close the business where I was paying 35,000 rent a month and also I had five staffs at that point you know so nearly I was an A lakh plus monthly

19:29 So I said I'll manage this for 2 3 months when this virus is gone then I'll reopen and give it to somebody but then nothing happened and the man was who renting was demanding the rent every month two three months the salary I was fine but after that I had to tell the staff no I cannot pay you and I still I gave half salary but then you can't be just pouring money into somewhere you don't see anything so I had to leave my deposit for that rent because I talk to the rent you know when they know that this guy is not in India just get the rent you know that attitude was there there was no compromise I said I'm not running the business yeah can you half it then I will come back I'm going through such a period so my owner who was renting out the

20:30 Property basically had no consideration I was talking over the phones you know the situation is like that I can't fly I can't make any decision so would you consider halfing the rent until the business restarts but he had no no consideration no mercy as he thinks he it's a Euro let him pay it so one final day I said you just keep your deposit I'm done with that and I I closed that business there yeah in the middle of the covid I mean covid did affect a lot of people I mean this is my share of it sure but then that was very clear for me at that point that this is not for me let me stay here and do what I was doing and then resumed everything back in Ireland so just toize yeah if I heard you correctly so the family moved

21:31 Like maybe sometime in 2018 early on and then you are still like spending time between both Ireland and India while the clinic is getting set up and everything is good to go 2019 is the last time you were there thinking that you will come back and then you know kind of take it from there and then things happened and you moved on okay so that's good so maybe touching base on the on the family side I know you kind of going going through the details of kids so you put them in the first school like where all the three kids were able to get the admission thinking that it might be the good school for them but it might not be the right school and so you were look for another so maybe you can talk through that like so you mentioned about the Elder one who was little bit you know kind of shocked with the situation on the first day how did the other two kid adjusted like you know did you make a decision to move the Elder one to a different school yeah maybe you can talk through some of the details about the kids adjustment the family's adjustment with the

22:32 Move yeah sure I mean my daughter got the big shock and you know siblings always talk within them like you know even they don't discuss many things with the parents but though my younger son is only two years the middle son is 2 years younger than my daughter mhm they did share and he he is like a different guy like you know he probably he's he's better adjusted and but still they both felt that this is bit of a harassment going in I mean to they they took it that extent I mean when you are not from that culture obviously which is a harassment for them cuz we had culture shock in a different way when we came to the Western countries but their culture shock was completely different and so my start my daughter literally started crying and she didn't wanted to go to

23:34 That school and she asked me that I'm okay staying here but if you find a different school so then I went to a school which was like a park like all the all the top people's children study in that school so you could imagine like it is their focus is if the result comes result comes but you you enjoy the school there it's a big campus like you know it suited everything yeah so getting an admission in that school was so difficult because majorly it is given to like top people and then you should have influence and everything like the typical private school but I managed to get one admission for my daughter where they promised next year your son or both sons could enter the school once she is in because I had to drop them in the middle of the other

24:36 School so this is I'm trying to get an admission where everything has already started so which I said okay fine let me struggle for a year and then we can put them all in one school so in that aspect between the two schools dropping though I to add on to looking after children I had someone to drive my children the I employ somebody to just drive for school anything and cooking even home tutions I I advertised for teachers to come to home and so all this I did but then the problem is when she went into this school as well there was not big culture change as well like you know it was maybe they weren't as hard as the other school but still the

25:37 Punishment idea was the same maybe they won't take a stick and beat but inad they will pinch you know though in the outside they call it like grade school but inside this was happening because I always Tred to talk to them as well like you know what's happening and all and this is what and another important thing was see in in the Western countries not many schools if you if you leave a pencil box it'll be in the same place when you come the next day because nobody will touch it like you know it's there even if you drop a small razor it's there but I I used to buy the best things for my children and there there's always missing things like I can't blame them because you know we brought some of the children maybe they just that's the way they are

26:38 Framed so when my your daughter brings something if it is nice the next day it's gone somebody will take it you know so she couldn't tolerate it and my son didn't go to the better school he got an admission nearby like so so that like I can collect her and him in the pretty much same time droping in that school he wouldn't use the toilet this may sound a small factor but it is so important that he only told me after a few months every time when he comes back from school he'll rush to the toilet because he couldn't use that toilet as comfortably he wants to and that was something majorly affecting him yeah and my youngest son he was very tender and young I put

27:40 Him in the kindergarten though the kindergarden was fancy and everything but he was missing parents and whatever he understood here was not the same and language was a big barrier for him though we used to speak Tamil at home it is not same as what he was used to the kindergarten in in here so adjusting to language for for my Elder children I think they were okay because in the schools obviously in most of the schools you know children and teachers speak in English and that was not a problem speaking Yeah but for him to communicate things was difficult like especially small small little things and they would not like you know they can understand his accent yeah and these all added up added up and he was majorly like

28:42 Affected the younger one so that yeah younger one because I remember going to Christmas that is 2019 Christmas I I was here working you know between shuttling and I bought him all these nice toys the Iron Man like what he liked and everything that point he didn't touch that toy it might sound very silly but it actually broke my heart he showed his emotion and anger by not touching it which the normally he loves that particular toy and it took couple of days for him to get that toy and play so all these factors like yeah made me to come to a conclusion maybe it was my desire that I wanted to go but my family weren't

29:43 Ready yeah and I touched earlier a little bit about bringing the change mhm so now when I reflect back I should have involved all three children and my family together we expect are you ready or do you need time to be ready or you know do you agree with this process if I would have spoken this with them before going maybe they would have anticipated and they would have been prepared I thought like you know small children they'll adjust that is a blindfolded thought you know thanks for being opening and like you know sharing that right I mean but it sounds that I am

30:44 Advocating more to come back but not you know still my inner heart is longing to go back to India so so because I would consider me as a financial migrant I didn't come for anything else but then our priority my priority changed and I started feeling comfort you know and now it's it's the point where would you be able to leave your comfort zone and that's so I think a you did say about the future plans yeah maybe before jumping on to that so sounds like I think kids definitely had a rough time you know adjusting to the schools to the culture there which played a bigger role for your decision to move back right yeah so maybe before reflecting you know jumping onto this

31:45 If if if you could have done it again I know or like or if somebody is thinking about you know moving to India is there certain things that you would advise or things for them to consider and I don't know maybe it's going to the place where they're moving to or the schools that they decide or how they even think about about the move the plan I mean I'm just using those I think just as a way to reflect I think as you already kind of mentioned certainly before if somebody is thinking along those lines yeah if this is your expectations maybe it might not be a good idea or if this is the expectations and maybe you could have plan it a little bit different for a better outcome for example or you know for the kids everyone and so on so just curious any thoughts on that you know before we move on to the future plans yeah right so going back now if I would have done it now so I touched a little bit on the part where children were involved but

32:45 Definitely you should share the vision to your spouse to very I mean to the dot precise clear why you want wanted it because not everybody's background is the same so in my case I will I'm the only son for my parents right so I was considering that as a major factor because my parents needed somebody and you know they they haven't seen much of their grandchildren and all but my spouse my wife's family is of three siblings so she has other siblings to look after her parents even in her absence so her presence was not as much as needed as mine so if that is the case in you know different perspective of family when you

33:47 Come from is very very very important to be very clear in planning and discuss and not every every every couple will come into an 100% agreement there will be points where you know I want this or this we'll wait for another period or all these things I think that is very important to go through every little detail and be precise when we can move a collaborative plan though you wanted to do it somebody has to take a lead that's there but I think getting involved your spouses as important as you lead the decision and also if we have different perspective on that planning move planning I think it would work better as well because what I may think right could be wrong and you know so wice

34:48 Versa like you could plan it better because in that change they are involved as well their part is very important as well say example if you're leaving children in India obviously your wife is going to take care of them and she would have made friends locally and she has changed so many things and now she has to adapt back find new friends and adjust with family members it's it's so many things are there so it's better to speak that and part of my plan I was setting up a business so I didn't leave where I was I was just testing the waters so in that case it is fine to test Waters but at some point if you really made a decision if you had a 100% desire

35:50 I think burning the bridge just leave it everything yeah I think that's one of the points you know you know I think it is quoted in the Think and Grow Rich book I think na poan Hill say just burn the bridges you you can't you you don't want to come back if you had that mindset I think your your move will happen anyway because your reason if your reason why is so important then I think everything else will revolve towards that re yeah sure I think that is the part I think I made a mistake I didn't I still said if this didn't work out so my plan was if so there was a plan B and then then I went to the plan B if you had only a plan a you had no options back you will stick on to your decision yeah so this is something I would tell whoever is

36:53 Thinking of moving back to India if you had a clear Clear Vision And if you you can test water for a little while but if you have made it just just don't think back yeah I know it's an important decision as you said which requires you know the partner the spouse to be on the same page the entire family I think you know you need to think through a little bit and make sure once you make a decision just commit to it and make sure you see through it yeah cool so I know now you're back in Ireland so things have been going great so any future plans about settling in Ireland or just continuing there or want to give another shot in another country or in India just curious so definitely not another country as I think because now it's a time where my daughters Ste and their education part is so important so that

37:53 You need a bit of a stability where and a routine so that you see them growing and coming up in life now your your desire and goal is parked for a while it is not thrown it is not buried but it is parked there so my whole plan and now I started advertising this to my family because now when I do I want to do it right MH so my whole plan is when I was on my teens I left everything and I focused to move out of the country for a better life to explore things maybe I didn't explore much but what I achieved I'm grateful for it so to give my children that Independence and to know the world I'm making a conscious decision

38:55 With my wife say saying that we will go back once my youngest son is in the college we'll provide a financial support everything to enter into their career progression and everything but there should be a point because I'll tell you a quick thing you know you will all know and your viewers will know but it's a reputation you know the eagle they they only care their eaglets for a shorter period of time and they will destroy their nest after a while so that the eaglets will learn to fly quicker and fly higher so I want to hold on to that principle very very seriously and there is a point where I want to cut dumal card and say okay guys this is your life but I'm there remotely as a parent we both

39:57 And I I don't want to leave my goal there still I want to come back and run business in a better way probably in a different city I don't have to stick onto my home City so now I have few points where I could improvise and where I went wrong and what else to be need done I think taking those learnings definitely one day I want to be sitting there running that dream that's I don't think I will ever give up that dream okay that's rightly I mean the desire is to return to India but made a pause now yeah makes sense definitely I think the family the kids is important and so just to confirm so I'm guessing with the kids now after moving back to Ireland they're happy they're enjoying their

40:58 Schooling and all that stuff because that's absolutely they they feel home yeah and I will add this actually you know last December and January we were in India uhhuh I mean they had the best time for the whole life I would say because now they are bit U Elder and like they they can think and they know the difference and now they know the value of family grandparents uncles aunties you know and the culture yeah and how you're treated here it I think now they started knowing the value of I mean the real Indian values so they asked me now like you know can we go back again in 6 months time which is a huge progress previously they hated going back you know do you have to do this

41:58 Now I think there is a big drive to say okay we'll we'll we'll go back for a larger holidays you know and that is that is a big achievement I believe like now they are understanding it yeah very very very so India is India always it is incredible you know yeah cool is there any topic that we haven't covered that you wanted to bring up and to the audience I think especially you had more of us WR citizens and I think there was another Ireland person who written I think in your Yes Channel I'm not sure if there is anyone else considering this is very specific to Ireland as well it is not the same as I think us probably a little different compared to us because right now there's a huge

43:00 It infusion I mean there's a job openings hugely so anyone who is trying to come to Ireland I think this is the right time because what happened is and this is going out of the topic but Google has set up lot of companies they bought three four buildings here and majorly hiring so the immigration is like huge at the moment M so make use of it and me and ainash is there like you know if if anything we didn't cover like we can touch face and I I I think you agree on the same thing that you know if there somebody's looking for help yeah definitely they can reach out I think you know what are the information that can be shared you know will be shared but I think the key point also is you know exploring the world right I mean you know it's not you know watching for coming back to India or staying it it's like in somebody's

44:00 Profession when you spend time abroad it just opens up your horizon your perspectives so definitely you know it's always good to spend time in different places which gives different perspectives and depending on where you are in the stage of the life you can make a decision where you want to stay but your point yes you know it lies the opportunities and definitely reach out I think anything that you know you or I can help more than happy to help yeah yeah I think you touched this right there is no no right or wrong decision like you know until you test it you will not know it yeah you know so I think you know I'm a huge fan of go gopal Das and he used to say like you know in in a story where he sees four friends going into different roots and coming to destinations but that's so important though like it's it's not that I I was right and I was wrong it's the experience you get out of it you you hit

45:02 The nail actually The Experience what you get out of that Journey that's human life and emotion I think yeah for sure so yeah thank you very much daa for taking the time and being very candid with your Journey right I mean again you know a lot of people are not open to share something that's not successful it just takes a lot of bravery and you know openness to share and this is valuable you know we don't always want to showcase the success stories you know for different reasons anything you know as we discussed you know things were decided based on certain planning or certain circumstances and that might not be true or that might be true but I just want to really appreciate you being you know open and willing to share your story and I'm sure this would be helpful you know somebody who might be thinking about it these circumstances could be relevant to them or what not so

46:04 Really appreciate you taking the time and sharing your journey with us today thanks a thank you so much once again and I wish you all the best with your change as well and whatever you know you're doing in India I wish you all the best and thank you viewers for staying with us as well yeah thanks thank you all for joining us on this insightful journey of Dy return if you enjoyed this episode and want to explore more stories and expert advice make sure to subscribe and hit the notification Bell don't forget to leave a comment below with your thoughts and experiences by the way check out the links in the description below for our Facebook group and social media for updates and engaging discussions as well as connecting with fellow the wrers thank you once again and until next time may your the journey be filled with joy growth and endless possibilities