Watch: We Never Planned to Move Back to India.. Until This Happened | NRI | 10 Years Abroad

3:32 >> Got it. Were you always have this you know, dream or plans to go abroad? >> No, never actually. I never thought that I would go abroad and none of my family has ever been abroad. So, it was not something that we used to talk about or was in any of my ambition list. I thought that after doing M.Tech, I'll do a PhD from IIT itself and will continue. But when I went to IIT, I saw this opportunity of a sandwich program model. And I thought why not just see how it goes and then after that one thing led to another. and it just kept happening there. >> Got it. And so how was the life abroad?

4:19 Like I think you mentioned that you

4:20 Loved your time and still miss Australia right now. so how was the life overall between these three continents? >> so I really loved Germany because I have OCDs. And for the people who have OCD for time, cleanliness, you know, rules and regulations, Germany was an amazing place to be. Initially when I went there, it was a little bit difficult to understand people. I still remember that my first day at the reception, I was drawing on a paper to make the other person understand what I was saying. This was back in 2015 and not everyone was using Google Translate and I did not have internet as soon as I reached there. So that was quite fun. I chose to move to Australia because of the language.

5:11 Australia is an English-speaking country and I am very fond of teaching. So I wanted that during my PhD, I can still teach. So I did not stay in Germany anymore. I moved to Australia. Australia was amazing in terms of the weather is great. the people are great. It's it's a fun life. like everyone is open in terms of you know, talking to you or helping with you. In Germany, that was a little bit lacking because of the language barrier, but here because of ease of communication, more multicultural experience was there. Plus, there is a huge Indian community in Australia, so you don't miss Indian food so much. You have an Indian restaurant in every nook and corner. so, that was nice. And also, I met my husband in Australia, so Melbourne is very close to my heart.

6:04 With this and that, it was a So, yeah. US, I did not enjoy that much. because I don't know how to drive. And if you don't drive, your social life kind of, you know, gets hampered. and I did not feel very safe there because I was in St. Louis, and St. Louis is known for its crime rate. So, two years, my workplace was amazing, but after that, my social life was not that good.

6:40 The social aspect of things, sometimes I feel like that is very important to bring to light. So, I have personally seen a lot of people that get isolated when they live abroad because of either lack of circle or, you know, either being an introvert kind of personality. So, when you are abroad, because you don't have your near and dear ones very close to you or you don't have that many number of people surrounding you, that isolation can really take over your life. But in India, I still feel like you must have somebody or the other checking on you. So, you know, either your parents checking on you in person or your friends from school or somebody, the level of connection is a little bit high that I feel like in terms of, you know, giving importance to relationships rather than having that individual sense of existence. So,

7:42 I feel like that is something that I really enjoy here, that I always have somebody to talk to whenever I go home. second thing is at any point of time you can have any service that you require. So, I still remember in Sydney I broke my foot at 10:30 in the night. So, I had a fracture in my feet. and then I was taken to the emergency and I was just sitting there alone for more than 5 hours before the doctor even came to see me. And at that hour in the night, there was no other option for me to go and get it checked instantaneously, you know? But in India, we have those options available. Like if you need a there is a medical emergency and even if it's not emergency from the hospital's point of view, but you need to get it checked, you still have options available to do that.

8:38 >> Yeah. >> So, that is something I feel like it's also the opportunities are not opportunities, but the options are more in India. >> Yes. >> And then customer service is always way better here compared to any other country.

9:00 So, back in 2019, my father had a heart attack. And we were in Melbourne at that time and he passed away. So, my husband saw me go father's body in a cold storage and it was really really mentally taxing. So, he saw all of that and then his parents are actually younger than mine, my parents. So, on that day he decided that he will go back as soon as possible. So, as soon as his PhD finished and there was like a week in February 2021 where the lockdown was lifted from Melbourne.

9:47 So, he was able to fly back to India. So, he moved back to India in 2021. >> Got it. >> And yeah, we were in a 4-year distance marriage after that. >> Why US? I mean, he he he I think he's it like supposed to help like from your career. >> I'm a plant scientist and St. Louis has the highest number of plant scientists per meter squared. So, St. Louis is like heaven for research for a person who works with plants and agricultural side of things. So, that is why I targeted that city and applied at the center. And the center at which I was working is excellent and it's only research-oriented. There were no teaching activities associated with it. So, I wanted some time just in a lab where we do only research, no teaching, no administration-related work, just research. So, that is why I chose there.

10:41 Plus, according to my supervisor's opinion, when we applied back in India the experience of research done in US is given a little bit more weightage than other countries. So, they thought that it would be beneficial for me and indeed I think it helped me. >> So, just to confirm like you I think you and your husband has decided at the time like in 2019 that you know, you want to move back to India. So, sounds like immediately after his PhD he he just chose to move back to India without even trying to apply or work or in Australia. >> No. He just without any job in India, he just came back.

11:29 And were you almost in the verge of completing your PhD and post like at the time or >> Yeah, so I completed my PhD so I submitted my PhD in June 2021 and final thing was done by December 2021. So I was also almost done. The reason that he could move so easily at that time was he is an aerospace engineer. So in the engineering areas you don't need a post doc. Like it's not very very necessary to get a get into academia. But for me from life sciences background a post doc is a necessity for you to get the good job after your PhD. So that's why I decided to still continue there get some post doc real experience before applying to academics in India.

12:23 >> Got it. Makes sense. so was your husband also in the academic world like you >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's also an assistant professor. So he moved quite a bit. So he was in Hyderabad for a while then he moved to Chandigarh, then he moved to Noida back again, then finally he landed a government position. so he's an assistant professor in one of the government colleges in Patiala. So at that time we were like okay now done no moving around. So Patiala will be the place where we will stay. And it was good for me also because this institute is there and it has a department of biotechnology where I could also apply. So then we just waited for I think after he landed a job 7 months later this position opened up and I applied for it.

13:21 >> Was there anything on the planning side that you and your husband thought through whether it's from logistics, financial, like you know, moving from continents to different continent or back to India, anything that you can talk about. >> so, in terms of planning, I think we decided that we'll invest in a home early on because I didn't want it to stay in a rented and so, that's what we did. We invested in a house when he was in Chandigarh, then we invested in a house back in Patiala because I feel like real estate is always going up. >> [snorts] >> so, that was from investment point of view and from financial planning point of view, plus we do our savings and other things are in order like like usually how people plan for their financial stability, right?

14:14 Then moving wise, I was very clear that I'm not going to take a lot of things back with me. So, even when I moved from Australia, I had three suitcases. Then when I moved from US to India, I had three suitcases. So, no matter what whatever things I accumulated anywhere, I just left it behind while moving. so, that was a little bit difficult. but I think I I I got that a little bit okay. I think it's very nice to be back at home, but I have lived alone for you know, almost 10 11 years and even when I was a kid, I was the youngest like my sisters are 11 and 10 years older to me. So, I'm more of a lonely kind of person. When you talk about space at home and all of that, so it was a bit challenging after coming back and sharing your space with your in-laws and

15:16 You know, people come, your relatives come and visit which I'm not very used to. So, that was a little bit of a challenge. Then the heat is a challenge like extremely hot here. So, I came in June last year. That the time also it was really really hot. food is great. Love the food. and work wise it took me some time. I think I'm still adjusting because you know, being used to a certain way of order that order is a little bit missing, I would say. So, that has been a challenge. Still is some days.

16:02 But I think when you're part of a new system then you have to start molding yourself as well with the system and get comfortable with things. So, I think that's what I'm doing right now. But, I state in order a little bit. because his parents are also a little energy and preparation that how I will live with more people so that I will back into okay with people being in my space.

16:51 I mean, I think you touched on a very subtle and an important point. I know this is a concern for a lot of you know, some families, right? I think especially you know, co-living together or you know, they might not have some Is there anything specific or a tactical things like because you before moving itself like you thought about it, you kind of prepared and also like it's been about a year since you moved. Anything that you know, you expected and then the reality or any tips that you would suggest for someone who might be thinking along the similar lines. >> Yeah, I would say that people need to keep empathy in their minds. Then second of all, they need to remember that if you are living with them for the first time, they are also living with you for the first time. So, it goes both ways. That they also need to adjust to your personality and you also need to make adjustments to their personality. So, I think keeping an open mind and having that empathy in terms of

17:51 Understanding why somebody has a certain way of life and why they have a certain style of doing things that might be different from yours is very much required. So, if you are very stringent in the way you think that oh no, I think that this is right or this is right, this has to be this way, then that will create friction. So, I believe that having that sense of understanding and thinking from other's person's point of view with some empathy in your heart is very much required.

18:27 So, I think in this loneliness and isolation concept, age is also a huge factor. So, when I moved to Melbourne or Germany, I was still in my 20s, right? So, at that time you have a very different energy. You are more open to people, more accommodating to people and at the time making friends is also a little bit easier. But, as you grow older, I feel like your intolerance for people increases and you start making the decisions that who do you want to give your energy to. And you don't want to give your energy to everybody. And you start choosing people very very carefully and removing people also becomes a very, you know, key aspect of your living.

19:16 So, I feel like that's what I experienced. So, in Germany, I was very young. I was in my party doing phase and I used to meet so many people, talk to so many people, and nothing used to bother me at that time. >> Then, when I moved to Melbourne, again, I was younger. In the beginning, during my PhD, we were all the students and going out in groups was a very common thing. But, later, my circle kept shrinking and towards the end, we were just three very close people friends together. >> So, and then, when I went to St. Louis, most of the time, I just used to think that if I shared a friendship with this person, is it going to become like something that stresses me out?

20:05 Or is it going to be a chill aspect of my life? >> So, based on some experiences that, okay, this person did not work out, that did not work out, then I sort of made a decision that, okay, these few people are good to talk to. I just don't want to expand my circle more than this and I'm just going to hang out with them. That's all. So, that is something I feel like it's maybe not a country Maybe a age thing. But, like if you have spent your childhood in India, you have your older friends around more. So, even if you're not meeting everyone on a daily basis, but you still during your holidays or weekends, you still have this There is You can still make plans to go, to drop at their home, or just meet with them casually. So, that is still there. And making new friends is still challenging here, also. Same thing. So,

21:07 Now, most of the people are in a family stage or a couple stage. So, then you also have to think from the point of view whether our kids will be okay with their kids or, you know, whether their husband or wife will be okay with my partner or not. So, those things become a part of your life which also plays a major role in how social or good your own social life is. So, yeah. >> Makes sense. Well, thanks a lot for sharing that. Really appreciate it. So, yeah, thank you very much Nita for taking the time, sharing your story, and I wish you all the best with everything. >> Thank you, Avinash. Thank you so much. It was fun talking to you. >> Yeah, same here. >> Have a great day.