Moving to India with an Autistic Child After 14 Years in the US
Ana spent 14 years in the US before her son's autism diagnosis forced a practical comparison: Seattle therapy waitlists, intensive therapy access in India, Japan school tradeoffs, FMLA leave, and whether Bangalore can work for a special-needs return plan.
In this story
- Key Insights from This Story
- Should NRI Parents Move to India with an Autistic Child?
- Ana's Background
- 14 Years Across the US
- The Burnout and Breaking Point
- Healthcare: US vs India
- The Tokyo Chapter
- Move Logistics and Planning
- Financial Planning Tips
- Schooling Challenges in Japan
- Advice for Future Aspirants
- Key Takeaways
Ana's family compared Seattle autism therapy waitlists, intensive therapy access in India, Japan school tradeoffs, and a possible Bangalore move after her son's diagnosis changed every relocation decision.
Key Insights from This Story
- 14 years in US: Purdue undergrad, Masters, Facebook, Intel
- Son diagnosed with autism at age 2 during COVID
- 8-9 month waitlists for therapy in Seattle
- India therapy: Monday-Saturday, 2 hours daily at Gangaram Hospital
- 6-month FMLA leave taken for intensive therapy in India
- Now in Tokyo for 2 years, planning eventual India move
Should NRI Parents Move to India with an Autistic Child?
Use this story as a decision framework, not a universal recommendation. Ana's family benefited from quick evaluation, daily therapy sessions in India, FMLA-backed time off, and family support. The same move can be risky if school support, therapist continuity, insurance coverage, or caregiver help is weak.
For a special-needs child, the move decision should start with therapy access, school fit, parent workload, backup country status, and city-level resources. Bangalore, Delhi, Hyderabad, and other metros may offer more options than smaller cities, but each school and therapy center must be checked directly.
| Decision Area | What Ana's Story Shows | What Parents Should Verify |
|---|---|---|
| Therapy | Seattle had long waits; India gave intensive daily sessions. | Speech, OT, ABA/special education availability and monthly cost. |
| School | Japan schooling raised language and support questions. | Inclusive school capacity, shadow teacher policy, trial days, parent references. |
| Parent Time | FMLA made a focused India therapy window possible. | Leave policy, remote work, caregiving help, and burnout risk. |
| City | Bangalore looked stronger because of healthcare, work, and support options. | Therapy centers near home, commute time, family support, and backup schools. |
Related planning guides: autism therapy in India for NRI families, school options for NRI kids, and the Desi Return planner.
Ana's Background
Ana is originally from Kolkata, India, where she was born and brought up. In 2008, she moved to the United States to pursue her undergraduate degree at Purdue University.
Career Journey
- 2008: Moved to US for undergrad at Purdue
- Completed Masters degree
- Worked at Facebook and Intel
- Role: Technical Program Manager (TPM)
- Total time in US: Almost 14 years
Cities Lived in the US
- Midwest: Started here (Purdue area)
- Seattle: 3-4 years
- San Francisco: After marriage
- Peninsula to Mountain View
- San Mateo: Bought a house
- Seattle again: 4 more years, bought another house
14 Years Across the US
Ana's favorite places in the US reveal interesting insights for anyone considering where to live:
Seattle: Love and Challenges
What she loved:
- Mountains and nature
- Close to Canada
- Beautiful scenery
Challenges after having a baby:
- Rain and cloudiness causing sadness
- Vitamin D deficiency—"bones start aching after 30+"
- Parks always wet, cold
- Homelessness near kid parks—tents and syringes even near UW campus
- Safety concerns in "good neighborhoods"
Austin, Texas: The Fun City
Ana also recommends Austin:
- Great drinks and food
- Spanish/Mexican influence—hospitable colleagues
- Music everywhere (Austin City Limits, South by Southwest)
- Lived near UT Austin campus while working at Intel
- Could take classes at UT Austin while working
- Was a nice college town (may have changed now)
The Burnout and Breaking Point
The decision to leave the US wasn't sudden—it built up over time through multiple factors.
Signs of Burnout
- Feeling bored after 14 years
- Crazy work hours at FAANG companies
- COVID isolation
- Wanting to be closer to aging parents
- Trying to redo experiences with their son but feeling "jaded"
⚠️ The Health Scare That Changed Everything
When their son was 2 years old, he was diagnosed with autism. Finding healthcare in the US during COVID became extremely challenging:
- Therapy waitlists: 8-9 months
- Critical window: Neuroplasticity starts "solidifying" after age 3
- Limited therapy frequency: Once a week or once every two weeks
- Lack of doctors and therapist availability
Healthcare: US vs India
The contrast between healthcare experiences in the US and India was stark and ultimately influenced their decision to leave.
US Healthcare Experience
| Aspect | Experience |
|---|---|
| Assessment wait | State-provided assessment had year-long processes |
| COVID impact | No assessments for one year during COVID |
| Labeling concerns | Assessment creates a "label" that follows child to school |
| Speech therapy wait | 9 months in Seattle |
| Therapy frequency | Once a week or once every two weeks |
| Quality | Very good when available |
India Healthcare Experience
They flew to India for a "small break" and were surprised:
| Aspect | Experience |
|---|---|
| Hospital | Gangaram Hospital, Delhi (in-laws are doctors) |
| Evaluation | Quick evaluation for different autism categories |
| Therapy frequency | Monday to Saturday, 2 hours daily |
| Affordability | Could afford the care easily |
| Results | Son was already improving |
| Home training | Learned how to do therapy at home |
The FMLA Lifeline
Ana took a 6-month Family Medical Leave (FMLA) from Facebook:
- Retained pay and position
- Spent 6-7 months in India doing intensive therapy
- Both parents focused entirely on therapy
- Those months "really made a change"
Key insight: "Kudos to the US—at least for the new companies, FMLA is a great feature."
⚠️ The Burnout Reality
Back in Seattle after the India trip, the struggle intensified:
- Demanding Facebook jobs
- Doing therapies at home (couldn't send to daycare full-time)
- Household work
- 8-10 hour workdays
- Still waiting 9 months for speech therapy
The Tokyo Chapter
Instead of moving directly to India, Ana received an unexpected opportunity.
How Tokyo Happened
- Got job offer through LinkedIn
- Initially thought it might be a scam
- Company has American management—good work-life balance
- Saw it as halfway between US and India
- Decided to "give it a try" despite concerns
Concerns About Japan
- Japanese language barrier
- Not as social as India
- Japan doesn't give much attention to special needs—"shoved under the rug"
- Would son get the environment they envisioned in India?
Tokyo: The Pleasant Surprises
After 2 years in Tokyo, the verdict is positive:
- No car hassle: Trains every 3 minutes, amazing accessibility
- Time saved: Son learned all station names, enjoys trains
- Social life: Made many friends from school
- Expat community: Lots of expats who want to make friends
- Reliability: Japanese people always show up when committed
- Play dates: People actually want to meet on weekends
- Extracurriculars: Lots of activities for kids
Social Comparison
| Aspect | US (Seattle) | Japan (Tokyo) |
|---|---|---|
| Making friends | Hard without common interests | Expats eager to connect |
| Weekend plans | Last-minute cancellations common | People always show up |
| Warmth | Busy with drop-offs/pickups | Warmer than Western countries |
| Deep conversations | Possible with effort | Limited by language barrier |
Move Logistics and Planning
The family planned their exit from the US in about 3 months, from December 2021 to March/April 2022.
Set an Exit Date
Started planning in December 2021. Interviewed for Tokyo job over Christmas. Got offer in January. Set exit date for March/April.
Sell the House
Main task was selling their Seattle house. Had to get it ready for sale, find buyers, complete paperwork.
Arrange Money Movement
Plan how to transfer money to India. Set up banking, do trial wire transfers, research FCNR accounts.
Shipping Company
Figure out estimates, decide what to ship and where to ship it in India.
Pet Logistics
They had a cat for 10-12 years. Had to research India import requirements, vaccinations, certificates. United was the only airline flying SFO to India during COVID. Lufthansa cancelled pet transport last minute.
⚠️ Timing Surprise
They arrived in India during summer vacations—schools were closed!
Lesson: Research school calendars before planning your arrival date.
Timeline Summary
- December 2021: Started planning, interviewing
- January 2022: Got Tokyo offer
- March/April 2022: Exit date
- ~3 months: Total execution time
- 2 months in Bangalore: Proof of concept while waiting for Japan visa
Advice: "The more time you have, it's better."
Financial Planning Tips
Ana shared valuable insights on the financial aspects of moving back.
Banking Setup: Start Early
- Ana's father forced her to open an ICICI account during a previous India trip
- She wasn't in the mood but did it anyway—thankfully!
- Opening accounts remotely is very difficult
- ICICI had good overseas support—couriered documents to Seattle
- Indian banking requires an Indian phone number for OTPs
Wire Transfer Tips
- Start doing trial wire transfers early
- Initial transfers often fail—system doesn't trust you
- There are "systematic dependencies" that take time
- Don't wait until the last 2 months
💡 FCNR Accounts
Ana learned about FCNR (Foreign Currency Non-Resident) accounts:
- Transmit USD savings as USD into an Indian bank
- Money is geographically closer to you
- USD is "locked in"—you get the exchange rate when you convert later
- Can make it liquid at current rates when needed
- Note: There's a time period until which you can keep it as FCNR
- Must make it liquid after losing NRI status
Keep Your US Phone Number
Ana still keeps her AT&T number active:
- Many Indian systems connected to US phone number
- 401K and Fidelity accounts need US number for OTPs
- Alternative: Google Voice (one-time port fee, then free)
401K Considerations
Ana hasn't done early withdrawal yet, so couldn't share specifics. But she noted:
- 401Ks are still tied to US
- Research early withdrawal implications
- Keep US phone number for account access
Schooling Challenges in Japan
Schooling is the main reason they plan to eventually leave Japan for India.
Japan Schooling Options
| Option | Details | Challenge |
|---|---|---|
| International Schools | English medium, global curriculum | Very expensive (~$10,000/year), only for wealthy |
| Japanese Schools | Everything in Japanese | English is just a subject, taught "Japanese way" |
India Schooling: The Challenge
Ana is currently applying for schools in India and finding it challenging:
- Every school calls itself "International"
- Schools claim to be "inclusive" with therapies for differently-abled kids
- Reality: Interviews focus on academics, not hobbies
- Expectations from UKG applicants are "tremendous"
- Disconnect between school marketing and actual testing
- Google reviews are unreliable—many are paid
⚠️ School Selection Advice
For parents applying from abroad:
- Be there in person to survey schools
- Apply to everything nearby, then filter
- Learn from each interview what they expect
- Ask about student-teacher ratio, academic intensity
- Don't trust online reviews—many are paid
- Understand the gap between PR and reality
Advice for Future Aspirants
Why They Chose Bangalore
- Climate: Cooler than most Indian cities
- Opportunities: Silicon Valley of India
- Land of opportunities for tech professionals
Spend Time in India Before Moving
Try to see from the perspective of someone living there day-to-day. Access different systems—schooling, healthcare, banking, ordering food, rides.
Get Your Reasons in Order
Know WHY you want to move. For Ana's family, it was healthcare and delegation of chores to spend more time with their son. When you face challenges, revisit your priorities.
Nothing is Forever
If you move to India and don't like it, you can move out again. Keep trying.
Consider a Middle Ground
Like Ana chose Tokyo—halfway between US and India. A stop-gap before the final move can help you adjust gradually.
Key Takeaways
Ana's Journey Summary
- 14 years in US: Purdue → Facebook → Intel
- Son's autism diagnosis was the catalyst for change
- India healthcare was more accessible and frequent
- FMLA allowed 6 months of intensive therapy in India
- Tokyo is a good middle ground with American management
- Bangalore is the eventual destination
- Start banking setup early—wire transfers need trust-building
- Keep US phone number for financial account access
Navigating Healthcare Decisions for Your Family?
Connect with other NRI families who have navigated similar healthcare and relocation decisions. Share experiences and learn from each other.
Planning Your Return with Family Considerations?
Get guidance on healthcare, schooling, and making the transition smooth for your entire family.
Have questions about healthcare or schooling in India? Drop them in the comments!
