Moving Back to India with a Middle Schooler After 10 Years in US
Diva worked as a math teacher in US high schools and middle schools for 10 years. She shares her family's decision to return to India with a 12-year-old daughter, why they chose CBSE curriculum, and how quickly kids adapt when given the chance.
In this story
- Key Highlights from Diva's Journey
- 📚 Background: Math Teacher in US
- 😤 Frustrations That Led to the Decision
- ⚡ The Quick Decision: 2 Months to Move
- 💼 Career Transition: Teaching to Instructional Design
- 🏫 School Selection: Why CBSE?
- 👧 Kids' Adjustment: The Reality
- ⚡ Rapid Fire Insights
- 🇮🇳 Life in India: Travel, Family, and Freedom
- 💡 Advice for Parents
Diva worked as a math teacher in US high schools and middle schools for 10 years. She shares her family's decision to return to India with a 12-year-old daughter, why they chose CBSE curriculum for STEM focus, and the reality of kids' adjustment.
Key Highlights from Diva's Journey
- Math teacher in US for 10 years - taught high school and middle school
- Moved to California South Bay in 2013 when daughter was 2 years old
- Decision made in 2 months - sold house, cars, resigned jobs
- Daughter was 12 (going into 7th grade), son was 5 at time of move
- Chose CBSE curriculum for strong STEM education
- Daughter adjusted in 6 months, son adjusted immediately
- Both parents found good jobs - Diva at Cisco (remote), husband hybrid
- Key insight: Kids are very adaptive - the struggle narrative is overhyped
Prioritize Your Happiness: "You only get one life. Don't rush after things not on your wish list just because it's seen highly that someone went to US and is earning good money. See what you want to achieve and what makes you happy. Prioritize your happiness - leave the kids on their fate. We are providing them whatever we can."
📚 Background: Math Teacher in US
Diva was a math teacher in India from 2007 to 2013, working online for an edtech company teaching US students. In 2013, her husband got an opportunity to move to California South Bay, and she moved with their 2-year-old daughter.
Career in US
- Preparation: Did research before moving to ensure credentials were valid in US
- Credential: Got credential to teach up to 12th grade math including calculus
- Demand: Huge demand for math and science teachers - got job quickly
- First school: High school in South Bay (ranked 8 at the time)
- Second school: Middle school in East Bay (ranked 13 out of ~2500 in California)
Their initial plan was to stay 3 years, travel, save money, and pay off their India flat loan. The loan was paid off in 1 year, but they ended up staying 10 years.
😤 Frustrations That Led to the Decision
Immigration Frustrations
The Breaking Point
During COVID, Diva's grandmother passed away. She tried everything to come to India to be with her father during the rituals. But there were no appointments for visa stamping - if she came, she would be stuck in India leaving her husband and two young kids in the US. Even appointments in nearby countries like Singapore weren't available.
Concerns About US School Environment
As a teacher inside the US school system, Diva witnessed things that concerned her:
What She Witnessed in US Schools
- Daycare in high school: Not for teachers' kids - for students' babies so they could complete their diploma
- Teenage pregnancy: A 13-14 year old student was 8 months pregnant with her second child by end of school year
- Marijuana: Legal and common - could smell it on students entering classroom and in bathrooms
- Racism: Against Asian students and teachers - she went to therapy for depression
- Student deaths: Two deaths during her tenure - one LGBTQ-related, one drug-related
- Contraceptives: San Francisco Unified made contraceptives available in nurse's room for middle schoolers
The Contrast
While her husband in tech had strict norms against discrimination, the school environment was different. This disparity in experiences between tech workplaces and schools is something many NRI families don't anticipate.
The Dinner Conversation
In January 2023, after Diva's in-laws left, they were sitting with friends from Hyderabad who were missing home despite working at Google and having everything financially.
⚡ The Quick Decision: 2 Months to Move
The decision was remarkably fast:
Timeline
- January 2023: In-laws left, started discussions
- February 2023: Gave serious thought, checked Social Security benefits (40 credits already done)
- March 2023: Decision made - started wrapping up
- Within 2 months: Sold house, sold cars, both resigned from jobs
- May 2023: Moved to India (before new school year started in June)
They had already been preparing their daughter with Hindi classes for 2 years, just in case they decided to move.
💼 Career Transition: Teaching to Instructional Design
Diva's Transition
Diva transitioned from teaching to instructional design - a common path for teachers, especially with a Masters degree.
Career Path
- Before leaving US: Got contract job as instructional designer, asked if she could work from India - they agreed
- After moving: Took 6-month break to settle family
- Current: Full-time remote job at Cisco as instructional designer
- Work-life balance: Excellent - can focus on home, kids, and work
Husband's Transition
Her husband took a 3-month break, then started getting job offers without even applying:
🏫 School Selection: Why CBSE?
Diva researched all curriculums: IB, IGCSE, ICSE, and CBSE. She chose CBSE.
Why CBSE?
- STEM focus: CBSE has amazing math and science curriculum
- Brain development: Good STEM education exercises more mental muscles
- Not limiting: CBSE doesn't prevent international undergrad - friends' kids went to US/Europe
- Progressive school: Chose one with play-based learning, no high pressure in primary grades
- Location: Within 2km of home - deal breaker criteria
- Reasonable fees: Not the 8-10 lakh international schools
On IB Schools
"If you go for IB, you'll get more returnee kids for friend circle - my daughter has 3 IB friends in her bus who came back from US in last 2 years. But our focus was STEM education."
Language Adjustment: The Government Norm
A common concern for NRI parents - how will kids handle Hindi and regional languages? Diva discovered a helpful government policy:
The Language Policy
"I realized after coming back that it's a norm from government - whenever somebody moves to Bangalore from Delhi or abroad, their kids cannot do 7th grade Kannada. It would be unfair. Whatever grade they move, they start from 1st grade Kannada, next year 2nd grade, and so on."
How It Worked for Her Daughter
- 7th Grade: Started with 1st grade Kannada - learning letters and easy questions
- 8th Grade: Continued progression
- 9th Grade: Kannada not mandatory (at least until now)
- Question Papers: Had multiple-choice questions - even if you understand 2 out of 4 options, you can manage to pass
👧 Kids' Adjustment: The Reality
Daughter (12 years old)
Adjustment Timeline
- Initial reaction: Cried for a couple of days - mainly about losing friend circle
- First few months: Missed best friend from US, missed school and teachers
- 6 months: Made friends at school (she was introverted, took time)
- Now: Fully settled, enjoys school, says "what's special in US that's not here?"
Son (5 years old)
Adjusted immediately with no issues. Has a whole gang of friends in their villa community - can go out anytime and play.
Key Insight: The "Overhyped" Question
"The 'NRI kids struggle' question is overhyped. It shouldn't be phrased this way because nothing is difficult for these kids - they are very adaptive. You'll be surprised how quickly they adapt. They love to explore new things, new challenges."
⚡ Rapid Fire Insights
How to Prepare Kids Mentally?
"We gave them less time - decision was made in 2 months. I think telling them a year in advance would have helped them wrap up their friend circle and say goodbyes properly. Especially for teenagers."
One Thing You Wish You Knew?
"We bought the house without moving here - saw it online and finalized. The home is great but we couldn't see the area. It's still developing, in one of the corners of Bangalore. Do full research before making decisions."
Hardest Part About Schooling NRI Kids?
"It's an overhyped question. Nothing is difficult for these kids. They are very adaptive. You'll be surprised how quickly they adapt."
Would You Go Back to US?
"If you ask me if I ever want to go back, the answer is a simple no."
🇮🇳 Life in India: Travel, Family, and Freedom
Travel Opportunities
Since moving, they've traveled extensively in just 1.5 years:
🇦🇪 Dubai
Twice
🇹🇭 Phuket
Thailand
🇲🇺 Mauritius
Just returned
🇲🇻 Maldives
Beach vacation
The House Help Revolution
10 Years of Doing Everything Yourself
"For 10 years, no matter if you are a CEO, you are washing dishes, cleaning the house every day. With two young kids and a big house in East Bay, it was not easy. My husband wants everything super duper clean every day - he was hands-on but also strict with everyone else. With kids, you cannot control the mess."
Now they have house help for sweeping and mopping. They still do dishes and laundry themselves - skills they don't want to lose. But the time saved is invested in:
- Personal trainer and yoga classes
- Quality time with kids
- Health and fitness goals
- Travel planning
Community Life
💡 Advice for Parents
Key Recommendations
- Prioritize your happiness: Don't project your insecurities on kids
- Kids adapt fast: Don't overthink their adjustment
- Do your research: On housing, schools, and area before buying
- Give more notice: They gave 2 months - would have been better to give 1 year for kids to say proper goodbyes
- Nothing ends: If it doesn't work, you can always go back
The "One Life" Philosophy
Don't Project Your Fears on Kids
Common Mistake
"Don't think that if I'll go back to India my kids will have less opportunities and won't get this and that. Look where our parents were and where we come from. We worked very hard and got where we are - which might be a dream for many. But did that make us happy? We wanted to come back."
Ignore the Judgment
Diva addresses a common fear:
Nothing is Final
The Safety Net
"If you are planning to come back and then you decide on that decision - nobody is keeping you stuck here. If you are not feeling comfortable, you can always go back. You will get more opportunities in life. Or your kids can go back if they would like. Nothing ends anywhere."
Final Thought
"If you want to move with something that makes you happy, if you feel this is the age of your parents and you need to be there - you should be there instead of regretting for the rest of your life. What is stopping you? Nothing."
Related Resources for NRI Families
If you're planning a similar move with children, these resources may help:
- IB vs IGCSE vs CBSE: Which School Curriculum is Best for NRI Kids? - Detailed curriculum comparison
- Why He Left a Successful UK Career for India - Another family's school selection journey
- Financial Planning Checklist for NRIs Moving Back - Comprehensive preparation guide
For official information on education in India:
Planning Your Family's Return?
Diva's story shows that with the right mindset and preparation, moving back with school-age children is very achievable. Kids adapt faster than we think.
