Why I Returned to India After 12 Years in Germany: A PhD's Journey from Self-Driving Cars to Family
Ganesh went to Germany for Masters, did his PhD in self-driving cars, got German citizenship, owned an apartment, and spent 12 years there. Yet one December morning in 2020, he told his wife: 'We are leaving back to India forever.' Here's his honest journey about integration challenges, the three phases of abroad life, and why quality of life is subjective.
Ganesh spent 12 years in Germany - Masters, PhD in self-driving cars, German citizenship, owned apartment, great job. Yet one December morning in 2020, he woke up and told his wife: "We are leaving back to India forever." Here's his honest story about integration, quality of life, and why family matters most.
Key Highlights from Ganesh's Journey
- From Chennai, worked at TVS group before moving to Germany for Masters
- Learned German spontaneously from a magazine at work - joined Goethe Institute
- Masters in Vehicle Technology, PhD in self-driving cars (radar, cameras, lidar)
- Got Blue Card, then Permanent Residence in 21 months, then German citizenship
- Owned apartment, wife had job at university, strong friend circle
- Three phases of abroad life: Excited → Enjoying → "I have enough cheese now"
- Integration fatigue: "Could I put so much effort for daily social life?"
- Silent Sunday frustration: "What is quality of life - getting milk at 8 PM on Sunday?"
- December 2020: "I woke up and told my wife - we are leaving back to India forever"
- Got internal transfer to Bangalore office, sold apartment, moved March 2022
The Quality of Life Debate: "I always argue: what is quality of life - getting a milk packet at 8 PM on Sunday evening, or having time for yourself at 8 PM on Sunday evening? In India, you just walk to a nearby store on Sunday and get milk - as easy as that. In Germany, you can't."
🇮🇳 Background: Chennai to Germany
Ganesh is a mechanical engineer from Chennai who discovered his love for Germany through an unexpected source - a magazine at work.
The Foundation
- Education: All schooling and Bachelor's in Chennai - mechanical engineering from a private college affiliated to Anna University
- First Job: TVS group of companies in Chennai for 15 months
- Work: Vehicle testing - "slalom drives at 100 kph and stuff"
- Inspiration: "They say 'benzin in blood' - the main inspiration would be Germany for the automotive world"
📚 How a Magazine Sparked the German Dream
The journey to Germany started with a spontaneous moment during lunch break at work.
The Spontaneous Beginning
"There was a magazine lying around at my work - they had different languages: French, Spanish, and German. I had some time after lunch, just took the magazine and started spelling around the German language without knowing the phonetics. But it somehow sounded interesting."
He did this every day for a couple of weeks, then directly went to the Goethe Institute and joined the A1 German course.
Key Insight: Language Opens Doors
Learning German before moving wasn't just practical - it shaped Ganesh's entire experience. His language proficiency later helped him get German citizenship faster (6 years instead of 7) and allowed him to sell his apartment without an agent, saving significant commission fees.
🎓 Masters and PhD in Self-Driving Cars
Ganesh joined Technical University Kassel - "a little bit west of Germany, surrounded by forest, a nice area to study."
Academic Journey
| Phase | Details |
|---|---|
| Masters | Vehicle Technology at Technical University Kassel |
| PhD | Self-driving cars - working on radar, cameras, and lidars |
| Work | 5-5.5 years in self-driving cars industry until 2022 |
The German Learning Style: Oral Examinations
Reality Check: Bookish German vs Real German
"The German we learned in India was very bookish, very theoretical. The area where I went had a bit of an accent - what they call 'Hessian accent.' I had to get used to it."
Career Evolution
Ganesh's career evolved from pure mechanical engineering toward computer science with automotive applications:
- Driver assistance systems - the foundation
- Self-driving cars - the specialization
- Sensors: Radar, cameras, and lidars that see objects around vehicles
🤠Integration in Germany: The Real Challenge
This is where Ganesh's story gets deeply honest. Integration in Germany isn't just about learning the language.
What Integration Really Means
"Integration in Germany means if you need to be part of German society, you need to become like a German guy. For example, you start working at 6 AM and finish at 3 PM - that's German culture. If you say you need to start at 10 and finish at 8, you'll be kind of on and out."
The Integration Challenges
- Work schedule: Germans start early (6 AM) and finish early (3 PM)
- Social norms: No small talk - "If you expect to have 'hey what movie did you watch yesterday' during lunch, they would be like 'why is this guy wasting my time'"
- Hobbies: To participate in Monday conversations, you need to do what Germans do - like skiing in winter
- Being yourself: "If you're going to continue being yourself like you were in India with certain habits and thought processes, you'll be left out"
The Positive Side of German Culture
Despite the challenges, Ganesh acknowledges the benefits:
What Germany Taught Him
- Personal time: Lot of greens, fresh air, time for yourself
- Time utilization: "You learn how to utilize your time better instead of getting involved in small talks"
- Work culture: Starting early and finishing early - "something I still continue"
- Self-improvement: "You could actually improve yourself in whatever area you want"
📊 The Three Phases of Living Abroad
Ganesh developed a framework that many NRIs will relate to - the three phases of life abroad.
Phase 1: Wondering/Excited
"You go to a store, you see a new milk product or cheese product - 'oh this cheese is pretty nice, I need to try a couple of them.' You get excited about every new thing."
Phase 2: Enjoying
"I've been excited for the first phase of my life, now I have some money, I'm settled down well to enjoy things. You go to the store and get five varieties of cheese and try them out."
Phase 3: Enough Cheese
"Okay I have enough cheese now. I think I want something else - cheese is not the main priority of my life."
The Realization
"Could I put so much effort for my daily social life? Should I put so much effort to maintain relationships in the society where I live? It was not natural. In India, even though you say small talks are waste of time, at some point back in your mind you think - what's wrong in that? You can just be yourself."
🔇 Silent Sunday: The Quality of Life Debate
One of the most frustrating aspects of German life for Ganesh was the "Silent Sunday" rule.
German Shop Timings
| Day | Hours | Impact |
|---|---|---|
| Weekdays | 7 AM - 6 PM or 8 PM | Limited evening shopping |
| Saturday | 7 AM - 4 PM (some earlier) | Must finish all shopping |
| Sunday | CLOSED | 30+ hours with no shops |
What Silent Sunday Means
- Cannot make any noise
- Cannot even vacuum
- Cannot invite guests (unless you ensure no noise)
- All shops are closed
- Must finish grocery shopping, washing clothes, cleaning house - all on Saturday
The Fundamental Question
Ganesh's Quality of Life Debate
"I always argue: what is quality of life - getting a milk packet at 8 PM on a Sunday evening, or having time for yourself at 8 PM on Sunday evening? It depends - it's subjective."
For Ganesh, quality of life wasn't just personal time:
- They had excess time but didn't know what to do because weather was bad
- Needed to plan vacations months in advance
- If plans went off, the monetary loss was bigger than the enjoyment
- Felt "locked" by weather and financial impacts of spontaneous plans
💠The Decision: Emotional, Then Logical
Despite being well-settled - owned apartment, both had jobs, strong friend circle, cultural gatherings - Ganesh and his wife decided to return.
The Three Reasons
Integration Fatigue (Social)
"Could I put so much effort for my daily social life? It was not natural like in India."
COVID Emotional Trigger
"We asked ourselves: if there's a problem like this in the future, what would be our situation when we're old, not having any people around to help? Both our parents are 70+."
Logical/Philosophical
"We asked: what's the purpose of life? Money was not the most priority. Spending quality time with parents came on top."
The Emotional Part Doesn't Last
"The emotional part doesn't last longer. It will be like two days you'll say 'I'm very emotional now, I'm going to pack my things and go back to my country' - and Monday you go to work and forget everything. So it shouldn't be like that."
The Logical Framework
Questions They Asked Themselves
- What's the purpose of life?
- What's your role in life?
- What is the meaning?
- Is money the most priority? (Answer: No)
- What stayed on top of the list? (Answer: Spending quality time with parents, taking care of them, spending quantity time with extended family)
The Moment of Decision
December 2020
"Usually during Christmas vacation we have time to kill - go for vacation for a week, then one week just sitting at home with Netflix. That's when we both used to make the complete plan for the year. I just woke up one morning and said to my wife: 'We are leaving back to India forever, as soon as possible.' She said: 'Okay let's do it - if you are sure, if you are confident enough, let's do it.'"
🛂 German Visa System: Unlike the US
One of the key differences Ganesh highlights is how straightforward the German visa system is compared to the US.
German Visa Pathway
| Stage | Duration | Details |
|---|---|---|
| Student Visa | Renewed every 2 years | For students during studies |
| Blue Card | 33 months | For jobs above certain salary (most engineering jobs qualify) |
| Permanent Residence | After Blue Card | Standard path |
| Fast-track PR | 21 months | If you have German Masters + B1 German language |
| Citizenship | 6-7 years | With good German proficiency, 6 years is sufficient |
Spouse Benefits
Dependent Visa Advantage
"If you're getting married and your wife joins you, she gets the dependent visa and has eligibility to work immediately - she can directly start working. It's not like she cannot work on that visa."
PR Flexibility
The PR is given for 3-5 years and is straightforward to maintain:
- Unless something changes (like losing job), PR continues
- Even if you lose your job, you can still have your PR
- No uncertainty about "what happens next year"
📋 Planning the Move: 15 Months
From decision in December 2020 to moving in March 2022, Ganesh had a 15-month planning period.
Timeline
| When | Action |
|---|---|
| December 2020 | Made the decision to return |
| Early 2021 | Talked to Bangalore colleagues about internal transfer |
| May-June 2021 | Got internal transfer proposal/work contract |
| June 2021 | Started advertising apartment for sale |
| June-September 2021 | Most stressful period - apartment viewings every weekend |
| October 2021 | Sold apartment |
| October-December 2021 | Sold car, furniture on second-hand market |
| January 2022 | Handed over apartment |
| February 2022 | Stayed in hotel for couple weeks |
| March 2022 | Moved to India |
💼 Career Transition: Internal Transfer
Ganesh was fortunate that his company had its biggest office outside Germany in Bangalore.
The Process
- Initial chat: Talked to colleagues in Bangalore he knew from projects
- Interest confirmed: They showed interest in internal transfer
- Manager discussion: Explained to German manager about wanting to return but stay with company
- Condition set: "If I get to do the same work content (self-driving cars) in India, I'm ready - if not, then no"
- Connection made: Connected German manager with Bangalore team
- Proposal received: Got work contract proposal by May-June 2021
Important Legal Note
"German law prevents you from having a Germany contract while working outside Germany for more than 3 months. So I had to quit my Germany job and join as a Bangalore employee - different salary, different conditions. But we were ready for that."
ðŸ Selling the Apartment: Most Stressful Part
The apartment sale was the most challenging part of the move.
Why They Sold Themselves (No Agent)
- High commission: Agent commission in Germany is very high
- Language advantage: "Language was not a problem for me"
- Control: Could manage the process directly
Market Timing
They were fortunate with timing:
- Real estate market was recovering from COVID
- Market was "hot" - sold in 3 months instead of average 6 months
- Sold by October, handed over by end of January
What They Didn't Ship
The Shipping Decision
"We decided not to take anything - no big cargo. A 20 cubic meter container costs €4,500 in Germany. We can get pretty much everything in India. Some things you don't even need in India - for example, we had a nice robot vacuum cleaner but hardly used it in India. Shipping and paying for such things doesn't add up to the value."
Instead, they:
- Sold furniture on second-hand market
- Sold the car
- Posted advertisements for everything
- Spent June-December 2021 getting rid of 12 years of possessions
â“ Frequently Asked Questions
What is integration like in Germany for Indians?
Integration means becoming like a German - working 6 AM to 3 PM, participating in German hobbies like skiing, avoiding small talk. "If you're going to continue being yourself like you were in India, you'll be left out." Ganesh felt he had to put extra effort which cost energy to get integrated.
How does German visa system compare to US?
Much simpler. Blue Card for 33 months → Permanent Residence. With German Masters + B1 German, PR in just 21 months. Spouse can work immediately on dependent visa. Citizenship possible in 6-7 years. "You're never in the situation like your visa is expiring and you don't know what happens next year."
What are the three phases of living abroad?
1) Excited phase - trying new cheese varieties, 2) Enjoying phase - buying five varieties because you have money, 3) "Enough cheese" phase - realizing cheese isn't the priority anymore. "At some point you feel: am I really part of this society?"
What is Silent Sunday in Germany?
Sunday is "Silent Day" - no noise allowed, can't vacuum, can't have noisy guests, all shops closed. Combined with Saturday shops closing at 4 PM, you have 30+ hours with no shopping. "I always debate: what is quality of life - getting milk at 8 PM on Sunday or having time for yourself?"
Why did Ganesh return despite having everything?
Three reasons: 1) Integration fatigue - "Could I put so much effort for daily social life?", 2) COVID emotional trigger - parents are 70+, wanted to spend quality time, 3) Logical - "What's the purpose of life? Money was not the most priority."
How did the career transition work?
Internal transfer to Bangalore office (same company). Condition: same work content (self-driving cars). Had to quit Germany job and join as Bangalore employee due to German law preventing Germany contracts for work outside Germany beyond 3 months. Different salary but "we were ready for that."
What was the most stressful part of moving?
Selling the apartment - 3 months of weekend viewings, keeping apartment clean, negotiations. They sold without agent (high commission in Germany) since language wasn't a problem. Market was hot post-COVID so sold in 3 months instead of average 6 months.
Did they ship belongings to India?
No. "20 cubic meter container costs €4,500. We can get everything in India. Some things you don't even need - like robot vacuum cleaner." They sold furniture, car, everything on second-hand market over 6 months.
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