Watch: Story of a Young Family Returning to India After 9 Years in the U.S.

4:02 Till now one was just the you know the post to the process yeah to help people what you know what was the process we followed to come back to India the second one was when we immediately landed a month after that and then the third one was a five month or a four month check-in post okay that we are having we are happy a few of them called me they they wanted to know more on you know the details about the process so good that it's helping out people that's correct so once you decided to move back like how long you took for the process like you know in terms of preparing to relocate and what are some of the biggest challenges that you have encountered for the relocation so I think timeline wise March 2022 is when we made the decision of coming back and November 2022 was when we

5:05 Actually relocated so we had what's that six two seven months yeah yeah yeah so about like even if he had made the decision about seven months back we didn't really start preparing for the move yeah immediately after we made the decision so I think that's one thing that we should have done sooner because by the end why the date was closing in it was very difficult to get rid of stuff especially the smaller stuff we weren't worried about the big things the cars the bigger Furniture but the devil is in the smaller thing so that was a very critical thing I think it should have started sooner I can imagine right if someone has been living even for like six years nine years the a number of things that you would accumulate you know think about like even just moving from it just I think depends on the size of the house you just have to fill it in

6:06 Right that's how it goes now I can understand I think you know people underestimate how much effort it is to even segregate or what is that we want to donate what is that we want to sell what is that we want to take and it's just a decision process and the for and we just try to like it's a very involved and you know people underestimate it and just going through that is is very involved process correct and I think the biggest challenges we faced when returning to India is the emotional part I think is the fear of unknown so that that is difficult to you know really measure or you know be prepared for and there's a difference between wanting to move to India and actually deciding to move and you know actually moving there is a lot of emotional turmoil that happens in between and you know you meet a lot of people who are against it you meet a lot of people who are trying to impose Their Fear on you

7:07 Because you know living in America a lot of people majority of the people they want to come back some way or the other sometime you know and they most of them the most of the people that we met they they actually they want to come back you know and it is this fear of unknown that prevents them or maybe there are some valid legit reasons why they are not able to come back that is that you know that is fair but a lot of them they want to come back and they try to impose this fear on you that you know are you sure are you really sure because it's I think we are you know while we are obviously making our dream come true in some way we are also making their dream come true but physically it's not them it's us so it's kind of I don't want to say jealousy but it's kind of the the feeling of being the fear of missing out of your fear of being left out that is why they try to kind of make this you know they try to create this environment of fear as well I mean it's

8:09 Nothing negative about tendency I mean if somebody is making a big decision we tend to make sure that they are thinking this through so we tend to create this fear of environment and it could also be with a good Wisher right I mean just because it's a big move and have you considered a to X or you know all these options so and you have planned accordingly sometimes it's just more from a well vicious perspective but I was at the same time whatever the fears that they have gone through you know when they were considering this option they like try to make sure that you consider this right so that additional you know pointers make you like sometimes question the decision but I think you know being strong and once you made the decision I think you know sticking to it and you know making that happen which is you know congratulations on that so with that said I think you mentioned about this emotional Journey right or it's the unknown factor so now that you have been living here for almost six months what was your

9:10 Expectation before the move and what did you learn within the six months you know so that maybe you can you can you know give some light in terms of This concerns that the people might have what what is real concerns what is what has been your experience so at least you can shed some light that could help some people so it has a broad answer I think so luckily I think for us RX first of all we had we hadn't expected that we would get settled in so fast we had lowered our expectations honestly and we had said okay we're moving in November maybe until March we won't have a place of our own and it will take some time and but luckily fortunately we got our place of Our Own in January and we were able to move in in January and everything just you know fell into place it was like this was just meant to be and this move went to very smooth and

10:13 Immediately we started noticing the pros you know we had made a spreadsheet back where we listed the pros and cons of India and the pros and cons of us and we started seeing the pros the services over here being closer to your family being able to meet your family and friends quite frequently so I think I think overall it was smooth one of the thing is when we say U.S right it is very point to be noted is very specific to where in U.S you are correct so people from California people from Texas Florida particularly warmer weathers you know they will have a different perspective about this move versus we were in a not you know in the colder States right Pennsylvania probably not as cold as the Northeast but Pennsylvania is pretty cold you know four months of the year you are typically enclosed in a house and you can't get out you know it's a because of the environment so again so I think the fact that our daughter can play upset 24x7 literally you

11:16 Know is is a major motivating factor for us it's good to see even our parents you know they're agile they can do a lot of stuff here they can take out a car and they can take a daughter with them you know and go you know make her move around places to places so there is a lot of Pros that we started noticing there are cons as well and we'll probably come back to that come come to that so I think from in general from a move perspective I think it takes a lot of preparation I think it's when you come to the U.S unitably for Masters we take a year right we almost take a year we do the GRE and the TOEFL and then we do the Sops and letter of recommendation so it and then the Visa process it takes around two months to get the visa so and then we started start shopping meeting around our family saying goodbyes so it's the same process coming back so it takes definitely takes six to eight months to prepare yourself mentally physically because if you don't do that then it is highly unlikely that

12:19 You will be very you know you will easily settle in cool so I think you kind of touched about the time it would take to settle right I think is one of the unknown factor and like I don't think we know as you know we don't we don't still call ourselves settled but to I think the expectation to what happened I think you're very happy like the progress that you have made in terms of that so any other things that you have considered you know from a that kind of you know questioning about your move or you know but you decided to make a move for example right I mean you have like some other factors that could also be considered anything that you want to highlight other than the time it would take to settle you know in your consideration yeah for the relocation yeah I think there is a culture shock living in the U.S for eight and a half nine years prepares you to be a different kind of personnel person you know they they change it changes your personality yes it definitely affects

13:20 Your personality you you are independent you know you build your own cocoon with your own Comfort spots Comfort things Comfort you know people around you so changing that again in an environment which is drastically different is very difficult I think the other thing I would I would thought in your mind when you're going back that you would see the same people you would see the same things you would have the same experiences as you had before you went to the U.S so I would I would recommend not doing that because people in India have moved on they've got used to you you not being around them and that takes a while for you to you know grasp and and get used to that so you just have to give it time and then they'll get to again you being

14:21 Around them all the time so yeah just the proximity makes a lot of difference in terms of how they perceive and you know involve and everything yeah so maybe switching games a little bit so what are the things that you miss in us and what are the things that you like in India like you know just like contrasting between you know living there versus here from your perspective so again I think this is specific to where we lived in the US we lived in Pennsylvania where there were a lot of farms so we went picking every season whenever the picking started every fruit that we've picked that grows in the UK in Pennsylvania probably so we missed that peace and calm of the countryside and having fresh ice cream out of a dairy farm and just the peace and quiet of of nature around you but at the same time it's a pro and con like we had that but we were missing not having people around and now over here you have people around

15:23 You you're meeting someone every weekend or even every other day for that matter and then you start missing like oh I think I need that calm again for a little bit we just goes in phases right I think we need both they just sometimes you need the people to mingle hang around and you need your own my time you know just to decompress and and you know think through what not yeah so we also miss the the you know the the logistics the like the roads the comfort of traveling in the infrastructure sorry yeah the comfort of traveling the free amenities like libraries parks museums all of that you know we miss that there are and again higher quality of just the information that you get over there yeah it's it is difficult to find here it's not it's it's it's not impossible but it's difficult to find

16:23 Here and again you have to travel a lot to you know so do you see something really good in India you have to travel a lot a lot in the comfort yeah the quiet the comfort and all of that you have to pee a lot or travel a lot in the US it's pretty easy to get it got it I think there is one thing that you mentioned earlier I think you had a spreadsheet of pros and cons of both countries I think I'm guessing that help you to kind of make a rational thought process instead of an emotional connection and doing it anything that you want to share with the audience you know the process that you approached with and how you went about like you know the decision process anything that you want to share with the audience so I think as you said we really went we kept the emotional parat aside and we really went very rational and objective doing that spreadsheet

17:25 We said okay what are the things that we really love about the us and we listed those okay what are the things you are really missing about India it's not like you don't like about us but more like what are you missing about India and then it started with family and all of that and then we started saying okay roads for example roads are not good in India roads are better in the US how important are roads in your place yeah or in your decision making and so that's how we went like family we sort of okay that's very very important in in life right now or forever so that's going to get a higher weightage so we really weighed those yeah I think the important factors were whether family the the proximity of friends work culture was a big one which was a pro in the U.S but not so much in India but I mean we were both of us have just worked for a year in India so we we are not in a state to make a valid comment on that maybe it'll turn out good over here

18:27 Who knows and and then the other Factor was you know the the Comfort ease of Life yeah because the India again the India we left and the India we are coming back to is very different a very good point people have to think through that I mean maybe people might still be thinking India 10 years back and not like what's happening right I think people just have to spend enough time in some of these big metropolitans to get the feel of it I think which is completely different than what they know about India when they left for example right and we asked these questions to a lot of people we spoke with a lot of people last year I mean people who were people who have been you know who have been to different countries and they came back to India people who have been in India never went outside no by choice they some people don't want to go outside by choice people who have been to the US and they have gone to the India and people who have been in the US and they don't want to go back to India so there were like all these categories

19:27 Of people we spoke with and we got their perspective so that helped us build our pros and cons list as well so when we build this list and we want to go back to India we want to align we want to give more points to India right but I think you still went with a rational thought process it's not like you want to give but I think in terms of your weightage or the priority some rational yes but I think it's like and it's in the air you know what you want right so when you were made already narrow somewhere what we wanted which is where it was a little yes biased and I think that is bound to happen over and I think one of the let's say the trigger or the motivating factor is like okay today what do we think what do we want to do today we want to go back to India so let's do it I mean we are not going to get this chance again we are not thinking about the future if in future we want like people stay there to come back people stay there for the green cards citizenship what not you know I mean a lot typically I'm just talking

20:29 About the general crowd yeah not being very specific with cases there are edge cases but typically people stay there okay green card you know it's going to be easy for me to travel back and forth I'll stay in the U.S further till that time okay my daughter is just five years old our kids are just five years old maybe up till 10 years old it's safe so we you know there are a lot of Milestones that you push out and we decided not to do that we said okay you know now let's let's take it on let's let's see you know how what what our challenges life brings on I think both of both of us had to be on the same page yeah it took us time to go there to get there for sure I mean for such a big decision if both of you know the spouses are not on the same page it is just not going to be a smooth transition and and and I know there would be some challenges but it's a big very important point

21:30 Yeah so I think you kind of touch a little bit on the work culture so I would love to hear like you know how did you transition from working in U.S to India in terms of whether finding a job or working for the same company so how did you approach it anything that you can share with the audience yeah so both of our companies didn't have any operations in India they didn't have any offices in India which is why we were assuming the worst we were like okay we are going to resign and then go find a job in India so we did that we told our employers that we are moving back and surprisingly yeah we resigned actually and surprisingly both our employers came back and said we are willing to support you in India and it even if for a shorter at that time we were working for different companies so we said oh okay this is this did we did not contemplate this would happen so let us think about it and we'll come back so what we decided is one of us

22:32 Keeps the U.S employment and then one of us leaves it and jumps into the Indian job market that's what we decided to do so I was still working for my U.S company when I came here and then he interviewed for a company while we were in the U.S and then he got a job and we came here and he could begin his job in a month I think after the move and why do we noted here is I don't come from an I.T background I don't I don't code I'm not a software engineer okay so I come from a hardcore mechanical I'm not a mechanical engineer but it's like automation background like process automation Industrial Automation robotics that type of environment right so people have this in mind that okay I come from if I'm not a software engineer it's very difficult for me to get a job back in India while it might be true the opportunities might be you know inclined towards more software engineering rules but I think in my case you know I got past that fear and I was able I was lucky enough to find a

23:33 Good employment very close to where I live you know and it worked out so I think there is light at the end of the tunnel for people who are non-software guys okay that's great so how did you approach like I think I heard that you applied for these opportunities while in U.S so anything that you can share is that through Linkedin or is that through some of the job portals or is that through some referrals that you contacts that you have in India because I see some of these questions coming up regularly right how do we you know try to find a job before the move and not to take a you know step and then after coming here to try to find identify so anything that you can share so I work for a startup so I directly contacted the owner of the startup or the founder and luckily you know it's in the same domain that I was working in the US so it worked out we you know I gave interviews online and I got got a job so I think yeah so I was working

24:36 For my us company but then I leave that in a couple of months and now I'm working for a company in India so my suggestion would be look for employers who are who have offices in us as well as India that is going to help you a lot to find an opportunity in India and I I would say don't start too soon because then people don't really it's not like they don't believe you but it's like too too far for them to you know even start interviewing you so maybe two months or three months before you move start contacting people on LinkedIn or any other platforms you use and start sharing your stories tell them that you're coming willing to coming back and it would make your move smoother if you already have an opportunity in hand and people start believing you then cool I know I think you mentioned your daughter two-year-old yeah how is she adjusting you know enjoying the time with the grandparents so just how her

25:37 I mean because that's one of the other big factor in your decision process right that she can play 24x7 literally you know in terms of that environment in terms of the friends in terms of the family supporting you know how has it been so far I think so yeah at least negatively affected person the move have been has been the smoothest for her she has transitioned so well and she has her grandparents around all the others chachas chachis aunties around her that pamper her so I think the age is one of the factors because she's so young that's the factor that's because she's she doesn't have a reference line yeah right now so she can't compare she does because I think she misses I think she remembers a few things from the US yeah she remembers her daycare she remembers her teacher from the daycare and her friends so yeah but yeah I mean on from her end I think it's more for the parents that they are more worried about you know about their kids than for the kids yeah

26:40 I'm sure they are so flexible than what we can even imagine I think they are more adaptable than I think we underestimate that especially at the engage yeah for sure absolutely Switching gears a little bit you know I think you have been living here for six months you know anything that you want to share or comment on the cost of living you know the expectation versus the reality you know things have changed in India right and anything that you want to point out for the future aspirants that they need to consider during their decision process yeah so as I mentioned before we did speak with the four categories of the people so our recommendation would be is to talk to people who are living in India now and get get exact numbers you know ask them what trend do they pay in the city that they are in what what is the typical rent of the housing cost what are the typical service costs that

27:40 They they have to pay what are the conveyors yeah school fees conveyance costs that they have to pay so get those numbers there so you know just like you do your own budget it's the same thing you have to get the Baseline cost yeah you have to you know that you pay in India and then that will give you that okay then that will give you the savings you know Delta asked okay this is how much I have to pay from my pocket for all the services cost of living wise daycare is very cheap as compared compared it really depends I I think most of the answers is it depends because we have not enrolled her to a fancy taker but daycare is pretty simple in nature you know it has all the basic facilities that any other daycare has but again I think there are there are various levels of daycares that you'll find in India there are you know just a regular somebody a lady working from home

28:40 That type of daycare then there are centers like daycare centers that have mandates and that they follow certain policies so similar that is where she goes and then there are really fancy daycares that have a curriculum and you know that is where a personality development happens or like really they are expensive and they have other opportunities so it depends on where you enroll your skin but India has become expensive I think that's one thing that we probably didn't consider when we said okay the India India has changed a lot since we left that's one factor we did not consider we were like okay chai used to be 10 Rupees when we left and then he came back on the way we got a cup of chai and it was 25 or 35 or something like how can how can chai be 35 or whatever yeah you would notice that difference yeah sure yeah services are cheap in general you know domestic help is cheap obviously as compared to

29:40 The US I think anything to do with people Services they're cheaper still in India as competitors you know I'm talking about the ratio yes so that is cheaper in the in India products are expensive products especially that are coming from outside are expensive clothes we are very you know we don't buy branded clothes typically I am not a person who buys branded clothes I buy you know domestic domestic local flows so even the t-shirt that I'm wearing there and and that is very cheap that is really very cheap so you can get a t-shirt for like 250 rupees 300 rupees good quality yeah right so that fruits are expensive yeah typically in the as compared to the US again there is a balance here because fruits over here you can get different variety of fruits here are much more in you know much more variety than you get in the US so the

30:42 Mangoes yeah very cheap as compared to the US yeah so I think in general products coming from outside are expensive products that are you know electronics are expensive and I think daycare is much more cheaper food is very cheap services are quite cheap you can have you can still have a meal in 150 Rupees to 200 rupees which can which is like three dollars so you can't have you can't have a healthy meal there in the U.S for sure cool so looking back is there anything that you could have done differently with the move I think I already mentioned this before we would have loved to start sooner because in the end it was a big chaos for us yeah if we would have started

31:42 Sooner I think we didn't start sooner because we weren't ready to tell people that we are moving and that stopped us from starting sooner if we were because we didn't have a job yeah I think at that time we were very afraid of if we tell people then they'll start asking us questions to or to where we were not ready to give answers for yeah at that time so yeah so there was a multiple of things but again we can we could have started selling stuff yeah or donating it we had to trash quite a we had to dress a little bit of stuff at the end but that could have been avoiding got it and yes your car valuation so if you we didn't have a house there we were renting a house so if you have a house start start the process sooner start getting your finances planned you know hire a CA in India hire a tax consultant in India so that we already did so definitely please do that because there are tax

32:42 Rules that you have to be aware of there are Financial I would say start mobilizing your money to India if you have stocks in the U.S then I would say consolidate all your accounts so I had Robin Hood we had betterment we had Fidelity and other accounts so we started consolidating them into one account there is a good app called mint yeah that we used so that consolidates all your account and I can see it's like a One-Stop shop you can see everything over there through that app so I'm still in I'm still looking for a similar app in India so if somebody is into this software by a domain who wants to you know do something I I would recommend you know studying that app and doing something like that in it for India yeah mobilizing finances talking to your 401k talking to your insurance providers that that would really help start it get an insurance in India as well so you refer that the health insurance yes okay all right

33:43 I know I think we have covered quite a few topics here is there anything that we haven't touched that is something that you want to bring up and share that could help with the team I think do your research so this is one thing are you moving out of the us because we are not happy with the location that you are staying in is very important so for us we we've traveled a lot we traveled almost 26 States out of 15. so we kind of knew you know so our reasons were not specific to that our reasons to go outside U.S were not State specific so even if we lived in California and Florida then in our pros and cons list few numbers would have changed but probably we still had the basics yeah so immigration would have been an issue still the distance between India and U.S U.S still have been a factor so parents health yeah proximity to parents have still been a factor so

34:44 Get those factors down to get those core factors down that are really important for you move with respective are you staying in the U.S just because you are board of the US are you do you want to come back to India just because you think India is more fun because when we come to India for traveling is very different than when we come back here for good yes so and then the other thing is if you really want to come back to India please come back so that's what we did we made the decision in March and previously before the march in January we had come to India for a visit and that's where we looked at India from a very different perspective in that trip that we hadn't done in the previous trips so we met people who were living in India friends who were living in India and we talked to them about the life in India how is the life and we started looking at things that okay how would I feel if I'm living here now am I going to like this what's going around me for example go to a bank talk to a ca talk to a Tax

35:45 Advisor and just see how those they offer services get comfortable with those type of services like even today going to a bank you know you have to physically go to a bank to do something right so you know start start paying electricity bills for some for your friends or for your parents and see how the process goes and make sure that okay you have to do this every month now would that work for you talk to the domestic help and understand what kind of issues challenges you'll face with that with that aspect locality you have to stay now I am not promoting a book here because I don't know that person in you know this person you know any intimate way but she is graduated from the same college that I went to for my bachelor's she's my senior and she has written a very good book called back home her name is so we recommend that read this book it's a really good book yeah it is you know and emotional an emotional guide for nris on the fence

36:47 About moving to India it covers a lot of topics and it very it did rhyme with us and I think the good thing about her or the book is she's not telling you whether you should stay in the US or not staying with us go back or not go back she's giving you all the possible factors for you to think about them and then make your own decision so it was a really good book like we read it twice before even we made the decision and we started underlining the things that we really loved about them writing is very casual but it did help us okay thank you very much for the recommendation I think you know something watching you know that helped with your journey and especially you know providing all the aspects to consider right with the move and at the end of the day that's your decision but somehow guiding through the process you know would definitely help a lot of people and really appreciate recommending I think you know the goal here is to help people who are aspiring with the move in terms of

37:47 The decision process and what could help in making the right decision for them at their journey in the life so that's always the goal true great so I have like this rapid four just for the fun so what's the surprise thing that you encountered after returning to India oh the digitalization oh my God you can just sit home and have everything delivered to you and you don't have to have cash in your wallet you don't have to carry your wallet you can just carry your phone and even even if you have to pay a rupee for I don't know if you buy a chocolate or whatever you don't have to give cash for that it's all digitalized I think that was it's really good yeah I love that about India yeah we felt we first landed in India because we didn't have GPA registered you know so that was that was a fun to begin with I mean that's also about U.S you don't really use cash a lot in U.S you use cards but over here it's a completely

38:47 Different game with GPA and up yeah for sure I think UPI is so much advanced in India than in any other countries like with the payment system as you said no need to take even your wallet right just the phone and that stuff is like you know for doing all the transactions like yeah even even your utilities get linked to your you UPI and it reminds you that this is the bill you have and you have to pay it so what's your favorite travel destination in India so you know so we live in Pune so in and around Pune I think we travel a lot to this port called seahawken she's from nashik yeah my favorite destination is there I've grown up over there and I just love nashik compared to all the Metro Mumbai nashik is still a growing city and it has its peace and time so if I'm looking for that peace and come I'll just go with it okay

39:49 What's your favorite Indian dish oh yeah mangoes and this is the season and yeah and you know the availability of having chai I keep mentioning chai because I'm a really child person so even in the us when we used to visit you know these national parks or whatever and it used to be cold and you'd be like and that happens over here like we went to Kashmir and all those local ad Mountains snow around us and we had hot cup of chai in our hands so let's go and the last one is what's the best part of living in India if you have to pick I mean your favorite part for me I think it's the access so I am a big Indian classical music fan I think she's learning Indian classical music as well so I think the the the frequency at which we can go through those concerts so we are at Liberty to reject

40:52 In the U.S we are kind of stuck with whatever you know whatever we we had at that time I think we are both fans of plays yeah drama and Marathi plays and dramas so I we have watched a lot of them in the past six months yeah I think also the biggest thing is meeting your family so when we were in the US we used to meet our nieces and nephews after a year and they have grown up so much in a year and you they kind of stop relating to you and you kind of stop relating to them but when you're here you meet them frequently you know what's going on in their lives and I think that's a big thing yeah definitely thank you very much for sharing that I didn't know that both of you were into classic music and like into the place and having that luxury to decide which one you want to choose versus you know definitely I think you know that definitely opens up the options that you have now because

41:53 Of you know the place in India here yeah and then the biggest thing is we can leave our daughter with the grandparents and just go yeah cool so I think first of all thank you very much for taking the time and sharing your experience your thought process really appreciate like how you went with like a rational thinking of you know decision making of the move back to India and and your journey so far and I wish you all the best and thanks again for all your time and spending the time to share your story today thank you so much thank you all for joining us on this insightful journey of Desi Return if you enjoyed this episode and want to explore more stories and expert advice make sure to subscribe and hit the notification Bell don't forget to leave a comment below with your thoughts and experiences by the way check out the

42:56 Links in the description below for our Facebook group and social media for updates and engaging discussions as well as connecting with below this readers thank you once again and until next time may your desert and journey be filled with joy growth and endless possibilities