Watch: Why This NRI Family Moved Back to India During COVID: Work-Life Balance & Raising Kids

4:09 Thought like I have to reach out to the people around and I found like in our apartment building about 60 to 70 people are Indians and they do l s they do all that things every Friday and meeting for Bita classes parenting classes so very good okay then I started BEC social talking to my friends girls 8s and all so and we had cooking classes we had children programs like you going to going to some you say parks and cherry picking all such things so slowly like within few months or something I like the place was made for me it was so I I got so acquinted and there was Temple there so I get connected to the to the temple and

5:11 Sa us so I felt really good there and actually at the time of marriage he said like two years we'll go back yeah but it didn't happen it started growing and we I end up staying for 10 years and in fourth year we added my son the family so of course after my son was born we are very positive that we have to go back to India but we took time like you know not immediately after after getting getting him so we thought like three to four or five years down the line let him have preschool here and then when he goes to the first grade we will join the Indians so that that was the plan so our thought of returning to India became very strong after my son son was yeah I mean it was never a plan to settle

6:12 There back of mind we knew that we had to return to India it was only matter of time when is the good opportunity when is the good time and then you know seeing our son growing and you know thinking that he would do his start his education in India so that was the right time and I had to look out for a good opportunity also so so it took some time for both the things to come together good opportunity to come together and and that's the time we decided no thanks a lot for such a nice overview sounds like I think you had a good time good friend Circle I think you know you enjoyed the time in us it's mainly the idea that you want to have your kid education starting in India I think that's the main driving factor and that's the timing so with that let's talk a little bit about a planning right I think you kind of mentioning a little bit on that you know

7:13 Just trying to make sure that you have a good opportunity and then timing that and then have the kid going to the school so for how long have you started the planning if you take that towards the you know few months or years backwards when was the planning started and maybe you can touch a little bit about your career planning or any other aspects I think that would be very helpful so so I think the whole

7:40 Thing was driven by my job to have a good opportunity job in India was very high priority for me yeah and so I would say it was back in my mind and I was always looking for opportunities and I actively started looking once you know within my same company as an internal transfer to India yeah but it it didn't work out in few factors so and then Co struck so when Co struck we I I felt like let's deal with the plan and and and I didn't knew that it would go go for a year or so so it got delayed for a year and then I then things was starting opening up slowly so at that point I started applying in India applying to jobs in India and some some companies approached me

8:42 I gave two three interviews but still it took one more year to get the job that I wanted the next level job that I was looking for the good opportunity I was looking for it took still one year so once I got it Co was still going on there were lockdowns and all that but because I changed companies I had to I had to move I I was I didn't have the option of delaying it I had to move and I just moved that time then when Co lockdown was there in here in India I just moved that like in India and in you us also it was a peak of Co like you know may 2021 you must be remembering that second wave of was going on we came at the peak of so actually what happened is like when my son turned five fifth birthday 202 J

9:44 5th his birthday so in 2020 January we said everyone that you know we are going my plan was like our plan was like you know at least first I will come back with son stay here in pun and look for his school so that he get adjusted with schooling for one year yeah we wanted to put him in Upper kg ukg only so that when he goes to first grade he get adjusted well yeah so that was a plan and on his birthday I said like you know all my friends there a big circle of women like 20 to 25 ladies and families and all on his birthday was Grand like said this is the last day last party we are making we are going to India so in two months two to three months because schools here start in may right so at least March April we had to go so we were planning March 2020 to come here but exactly at that time Co

10:45 Start started so like in May 2020 like till we took admission and we had a talk with schools and all but you know because of Co it was very new so we just have to postpone and then everyone calling us like during the lockdown only you gone or something you no how can we go to the go it's co and all so so it was all going and again his internet transfer was cancelled because of Co the wi was so so we continued like that with uncertain future what to do what to do and all of a sudden his opportunity came in March 2021 and there was till that time at least they were not locked down and little bit first where was gone actually yeah and in US actually we because we I can relate like in us what lock down

11:46 What strategies was there and what Indian strategies were completely different in US everything was open only the mask was there but here it was strict lock down like you know very very strict so we didn't have that view like you know what is India going through then everyone was saying like you know when he got opportunity he told me don't tell anyone because everyone is will be shocked they will either stop us either frighten us or so the thing was you know that Co you know if we meet then Co would spread that was the greatest fear we had yes so that's why we don't want we want any farewell party or to be set up you know and we didn't want to meet with friends that was the highest thing in our mind so as I had as I said you know I had no option to delay it so we had to make that move so in that case only I just had know two friends told

12:48 That you know I'm moving that also in the last week yeah so if I may ask especially I think you know regarding the career planning side right I have one followup question that I want to check because common question among people who are thinking about moving back to India so you mentioned that you have started applying from us itself like how was that how was the response did you have any tweaks like do you have like a Indian phone number or add any any other advice that you can give because people communicate that hey you know I've been applying but I'm not getting any responses so any tips or tricks that you can give any insights that you can provide on how they should approach

13:30 It yeah see for me what worked was LinkedIn through Linkedin when I contacted the HRS the recruiters some of them were interested and the other was through friends so through friends who are working here in India I I had sent my resume and they would forward to their manager hiring recruiter and and then you know the thing is that each company has to think whether to hire a person from outside of India or not not every company will agree for that or will have the what to say you know the ability to do that because they may prefer local candidate if they want to hire someone from outside then they have to pay for their air tickets the transport you know the luggage everything everything Logistics also need to be taken care whereas for a

14:32 Local person they don't have to spend that much sure so not every company will do this that's the challenge okay that's the challenge but but yeah I mean if you are in some core Core Business kind of you know or core companies then there are some opportunities like in blsi in very core software jobs then there are some opportunities so so yeah I'm I'm in one of them so LinkedIn and two friends worked out I think the Mantra there is the networking you know reaching out to your old friends Hing man yeah that always helps that is there anything that you can talk about from a planning perspective I mean so let's talk a little bit about the transition so you you know the timing of move was during you know kind of talked about the journey

15:33 You know from us to India like you know some of the interesting aspects of that you know the only flight on the day and the number of passengers and all that stuff so how was the initial transition period after coming to India because I'm I'm guessing everything is locked down you are in a new and how how how were things in the transition period so so

15:57 My company had provided a place to stay yeah for a month house yeah for a guest house and and I had booked a travel agent you know to pick us up and drop us to that location so that day it was complete lockdown in Bangalore before have given the list of groceries which we need because there were no one because B generally like if we move in normal times also we move to our parents house or you know so that their setting is there we moved to a completely new city where no relative is there no friend is there so yeah then we got down in Bangalore airport and there is it's all deserted completely deserted we were only few people 63 people who were coming out and external nothing no car nothing yeah and so so when we reach the guest house the guest house person

16:59 He had we had pre we had already told him you know we need this list of grocery so one good thing that we saw in India this today's India is that you know everything is online online yeah yeah so all the ordering everything was online and just the person comes with huge bags and he just gives it to us so yeah that was you pay also online so no cash issue and all that within few days I could I could get the new SIM card and once you get the phone you can just link it to your bank and the UPI starts once UPI starts then everything I think it becomes easy but yeah at that point there was complete lockdown in Bangalore so one month we were in our flat only only few times we came out of we were in quarantine actually we have to yeah we had to quarantine so so basically everyone was quarantined because it was complete lockdown yeah was very strict and you know my son he

18:01 Had I mean we all had jetl and what he used to do is morning full sleeping and night 2:00 he used to get up and you know what to do because his toys were not there no books was not there nothing was there so we started playing hide and seek so so like you know we used to hide here and there in that apartment somehow we have to pass our time so you know when he was there in balcony and all you know we are playing and then suddenly ambulance sound will used to run back virus has so it was very pathetic with you know hyperactive kid of 6 years in that quarantine and it was it was not that harsh in us actually in us people used to go out and play and there was yeah it was it was lot of free huh but here here it was complete lock complete lock and

19:02 That also it went for two months two months actually yeah and especially I think the second wave hit so bad in India and bad in Bangalore right there were news of hospitals not having beds in B people were really scared yeah so so yeah that was one of the worry that we had when we were moving but but once we came to the airport no no person out there we came to Our Guest House yeah and we just stayed there for two months everything online ordering things would come to us so that's how you know those two two three months went and then after we found another house to move with yeah yeah so so think that time you know what happened it was Bangalore was fully empty and we we search out for rented house yes so people were ready to give us for any rate actually so fully furnished house we got

20:03 From for very less rate actually we thought of getting fully furnished because you know we didn't have everything we can't do online right beds and all so we went fully furnished and we could get in just 20 25,000 and there was a big house and people were behind us actually when we saw no broker or rented things were please come please come our house is empty no one was there because everyone went to their Hometown yes who will pay the rent so it was like it was lot of choice yeah just in one year when the covid gone the rate of the price of it become double and triple actually yeah for sure so there no house left actually for us you know finding the next house moving moving because 25 it became 5050 50,000 per month yeah so we thought okay we will search out other house that was also not available

21:04 Yeah so it was like fully opposite that also was a different experience actually to find out houses until that time no one came to meet our families were in Pune and Hy we said no no no coming to us already lockdown was there was there yeah the risk the risk was was always there so we we both and son that's it somehow we got navigated you know finding the house settling down it was a very big challenge actually this should then to be done for normal people if you would have some normal times it would not be like that but definitely our time was very challenging but I'm sure I mean I think those are not normal times and it's definitely interesting and the challenges that you have to go through to come to a new place where you don't have friends family and adjusting there and going through that I think I I can understand you know what you have to go through I make that

22:05 Happen so how is the life in India it's been three years and you know there is such a motivation to move back you know for the kids how is the life here and how is your son doing with the education is that what you expected so just curious on that part yes yes yes so

22:25 Yeah I mean from the very first day we are very happy to be in India the transition was very good I mean we felt at home moment from the very first day so because it was always in our mind that we had to return to India so you know that that happened and we were happy so my son actually starting it was a culture shock for him and his schooling was online only like one year online he did in us one year here he did online so online school he got a used to used to and yeah but later like after October 2021 we had that Park and you know there was like less they were opening up and all so he got I should not say adjusted whether he got adjusted but what you know with people

23:27 Socializing you know it was very challenging for him so he has picked up American accent he used to go to preschool and all still he speaks American accent English so for for him languages was very difficult and here lot of them speak Canada and even though they speak English you know kids they don't have don't understand this American English la so they was bullying for him he was not accepted in the children he was seen something out of place so all the challenges was there and 2022 may he started going to school in person so that one year also was challenging for him because he couldn't and we put first first we thought he should go for cbsc was the first gr so we enrolled him in Del Public School cbsc school and we s

24:28 For one year so the teacher herself said he is very fast in speaking English is not yelling up with the classmates and he so he so yeah he needs some a different environment where you know he can grow at his space so she suggested certain schools and they follow Cambridge IG CSC curriculum and that has worked out from last one and a half years 2022 we shifted his school to igcc camp and there actually most of them because it this International School most of them have this you know European accent or American accent and they can understand moreover he has grown up he has j a little bit so now he he is doing wonderful in school and he has picked up other languages also yeah he has picked up and we made him go to a tutor to to learn Hindi and at home uhti

25:33 Marati that is which which is our mother tongue so he has picked up slowly and he's doing good he's doing really good like his progress is appreciated by his teachers also now this is very interesting experience since I was thinking he's just such a young kid you know especially joining the Indian education system when he's in the ukg or upper kindergarten and then the first grade I would expect that they can gel well with any education system right I mean this is also another common question or concern that the families have hey which curriculum that I need to select for my kid so this is an interesting perspective and good to know like in terms of the the things that your son has to go through and where he thed I mean I know each kid is different but you have to choose like depending on which kid for sharing that yeah this is fact the more the child grows in us the more he find to adjust academically also if he excels get some tutors in in us but coming here

26:37 And jelling up in the school environment with the Indian kids yeah and you know getting that used to the setting the teacher the students everything you know social part of thing so that becomes very difficult if child grows in us so better get the child when he is Young and when they are just starting the education and even if let's say you bring them one or two years late then you can still bring them up then you can still ramp them up by you know sending them to tutors for languages language the Indian languages like Hindi and the local language like Canada or Telugu wherever if we if we send them to tutors then they will pick up and we will see them yeah we'll see a change within like six to eight months and the worry that one parent may have you know will will will reduce a lot yes so thing is that if if at all

27:37 Even the local languages are not in the curriculum of school I suggest that you know they should send tutor for the local languages also so that children get social exposure they can talk in the local language to the classmates they can talk so like you remember in our when we were little in our schooling we never use English for conversing with our classmates we used to use local language right so only after 9 10 11 we used to use same like here also kids they Indian kids they use their mother tongue here okay or local languages to converse so then that is best that you know even our child learns that language and always learning a language for kid is very very important very good for his future because languages are something you know I espe especially I can speak five languages so at least three languages multilingual right helps in

28:38 The development of child you know his personality his or her personality that's what I in us it is lacking children always speak English not nothing else so in California at least there was Spanish there Spanish there but you know children just speak but I think India has many more languages yeah minimum you know three three languages every person speaks so so so that is really good thing about India to be multi linguistic so glad to know that I think the kid is doing well I you know you have to change the environment I think it's good that the teacher understood and kind of made some recommendations and it it helped so that's a fantastic so we if we can talk a little bit about your work experience and I think you mentioned you have worked for a few years in India before going to us and you have been in working in us for almost 13 years before coming back and working here for another

29:38 3 years how has the work life balance or work culture changes right you know before moving to us and now that's one question and in general anything that you can talk about you know some of the things that you can share from your journey what would you suggest or anything that people have to watch out or be aware of and you know plan accordingly yeah yeah that that is good know that you have asked so

30:09 Working in United States is is is is a different culture over there it's a very open culture a culture where there are hierarchies but still you know you can talk on the same level with people and and and and over there it's a it's a bold kind of culture where you know you can openly talk about your strengths weaknesses success failures and and and and people will look down at you so that's the American culture and in India or let's say in Asia if when you come back you will see a mix of the two you'll see mix of American culture because you are dealing with American you're dealing with European clients you're dealing with the same management from there to here so that culture is there okay but but it has the indianness it has the

31:10 Asian the work culture here it has that ASI here and I would say in in professional life it's it's better to be open to be straightforward and and to be bold and that part if you don't see it in your Asian culture you better bring it because that always helps in the professional career so so that's the good part of in that I learned in America and I see that in India a lot of companies have that they're trying to get that culture they have that culture but again there is some set of Asian culture also within it sure yeah so in that what I found was that U here here you know in professional

32:15 If there is some bad news if there is some bad news to be given the Asian Asian thought process is first let's give the good news tackle it out yeah and U so so that is one thing that you will see anyone will see when they come back here that they have to deal with that kind of situation but think from the best view what is best for for the professional what is best for the team what is best for the career what is best for the work what is best for the project and and make that decision when you do that that will always help that is one thing I would like to say and and then second thing

33:16 Is you appreciate you appreciate however people work here there will be always pros and cons when you work in United States there's always pros and cons how do you work with the people over there Y and here also so make a best I I I would say go for the best things here and and and and do your job nicely got it yeah no thanks for sharing that I'm just being mindful of the time so is there any advice or suggestion that you would give to the families who are considering about moving back to India

33:59 Yeah so thing is that I have experienced like you know many of my friends who have it same like my age and they all consider to go to India but they don't have that what do you say guts or you know strength so I suggest them that we sit what we did I will tell I don't know what they will do but what we did is I my husband and my son even though he was very little we sat together and discuss that we are going so what are the PO and what are the counts so okay these all things we have to do so you have to accept something which are which come along with it so what I feel is many Indians in us they have that feeling that we should go back to but they don't discuss they don't sit together and they don't make the list and they don't okay so just like in somewh saying like what are the

35:00 Cons when we go to India okay the roads are bad okay so does that cons does that anything personally affect us no okay the areas are filthy so does it really affect us okay there politics everywhere so is that really affecting us no so what is important my son's education is important our family bonding is important so when we consider this we discuss yes that is important is that affecting in US yes if it is affecting in us time to govern so I will tell one thing frankly those who go there and very good when they get child and the child is growing every parents in us have this concern how my child's future is there will they forget Indian culture will they forget our relatives that concern is there for

36:00 Everyone so I say sit and have discussion about the child's best thing so that is your family first think of your family and decide not telling come to India or be in us no you have to figure out yourself because Nothing fits for everyone say so I say that you your husband kids maybe whatever age they are sit and dis see this is our plan we are going to India this spot we are going and this is how it may look so we have this much time for transition after that what are the pros and cons just sit and discuss take some time two hours and sit and discuss so believe me when you sit and discuss there will be many things coming out and you may get strength to decide yes staying here is good or going to IND good so there are two

37:00 Things like input and output so when you put input there is some output right so you are thinking that input I'm I'm staying in us I will stay in us and child should have Indian culture that doesn't happen you're putting you're that won't happen if you give input that that output won't come so either you bring him to India give Indian culture then the output will be Indian culture and if you give us culture output is US culture accept us accept it okay finally my son will become like a USP person or you know totally Americanized so that thing people there you know they have this that's what I wanted to suggest from this platform to all our friends who are in us if you are giving giving us

38:03 Environment be prepared that your child will become American culture I'm not telling Indian culture is good or American culture culture is culture culture is there whatever is there culture is there both are at their own places but the Dilemma is that they think that we are Indians they our children should get indianized but In America which doesn't happen practicality wi is you discuss with your family so if we give this input the output will be like this but if if output is that and you cannot do just accept it full heartedly that yes this is what is so there they struggle that you know they want this but they don't accept the so I I will I will give know how this thought process went through me so I I I I discussed with few of my friends those who were senior to my age and those who have settled in

39:04 United States and they have kids in their teenagers and now they are adults so one of my friend he he he he gave me a very nice statement he said see if you stay in America you will face American are you comfortable in tackling and you are happy in tackling yeah and if you come to that answer then you know where you are so in my case U you know back of my mind I I always wanted to be in India so I said I I will better face Indian problems so that's how I thought that yes going to India helps and and then another thing that she said about culture yes of course that's a there's a different culture over there and then you have to accept your your child to be in that culture and all you

40:06 Can always give Indian culture over there okay but you will always see there mix of American culture yeah actually there are many is there to give Indian culture Indian drama everything is there but end of the time when I see that kids are growing up in that you know they get more of confused you know Indian also and American also and finally because they have to settle that they will finally accept American see when the child is small we can make him do go to the telu classes this classes but after some time like when they are 20 2530 they they get used to that you know that doesn't make much difference that's what Ian so staying in Indian environment and having this culture around everyone doing we don't have to send special classes for that special things for that it comes like you know natural here so that child you see that that child is very different from the child who was

41:08 Externally given that cultural thing in us so I appreciate there there is Tana there are so many cultural things there they are doing the so one thing after all it doesn't make much difference after the child get used especially marrying American you know Chinese Japanese Indian children are doing that you know so how can you stop that I mean again as you rightly said right AC and what is more what is more important to you and go with it I think the thing that you're mentioning is more on the environment which means the probability of someone growing to certain which is more important to you I think that's the bottom I mean I I I I I did find some friends for them this culture thing was not so important for them other things were important yeah like one of my friend you know within short time he he could buy four properties and

42:09 Now he's a CEO of a startup yeah so for him right moving to India was never in his mind because things are working for him and and he's growing in his professional life and and of course he has his family over there and kids grown americ so he said I mean they will grow up Americans that's no doubt in it and the thing is when you stay this far from thousands of kilometers far from your family and native country you can't meet them every now and then it will be once in two years once in three years so so over a period of time they may not have the connection with India and and you know that is something some many of them have accepted that and and they're living with it now now they have their own pros and cons like I said regarding my friend so so that is another

43:10 Consideration another consideration that you know how how is that particular place treating you sure are you growing in your professional life and in your personal life also right so depending on that people make decision in my case I I feel the personal life that I wanted to be more in India whereas for the professional I I would say that I'm I'm doing the same work I did in United States I'm doing the same work it is there's no difference so on the professional front I I I would say I'm not losing a lot yeah not losing a lot yeah but those who want to do something like research or something very new idea and all that then definitely United States is a very is the best place to be yeah coming to India I felt New Perspective of carer

44:13 So I'm just telling my friends in US whoever sees this video that you know actually first of all I should say them sorry that I couldn't meet them funeral and it was so sudden all of a sudden hope they will forgive us and second of all thing please if you have any questions about going to India and astrological aspects also and personal aspect also you can consult me and my husband and if at all we can help you in any way you be very happy to help you yeah so thank you very much for sharing your thoughts like the points that you have considered while moving back to India and so really appreciate you taking the time and sharing your journey with us so have a great day thank you sir thank you a sir that you have given this platform that we could express our feelings we

45:15 Are feeling so light today that you know we had that guilt that you know we left but because of this platform we could express our feelings and we feeling very light and happy that somehow we got connected to this thank you all for joining us on this insightful journey of DIY return if you enjoyed this episode and want to explore more stories and expert advice make sure to subscribe and hit the notification Bell don't forget to leave a comment below with your thoughts and experiences by the way check out the links in the description below for our Facebook group and social media for updates and engaging discussions as as well as connecting with fellow Thea wrers thank you once again and until next time may your Thea journey be filled with joy growth and endless possibilities