Watch: Joint Family Life in India After US: Spouse, Kids, 401k and Shipping Lessons

3:32 >> Yeah. >> And very peaceful.

3:35 >> So so that sounds good like I think you know having a peaceful life structured systematic life. So what changed for you to consider returning back to India? >> I never had plans to be so I I'm a very family guy. So I come from a very big family like 20 people live in my house. I always like to be with my family members. I'm the first one in my entire family to like to go away from home and go out of country like nobody went out of country for education and all. Hardly they go for trips and all but for education trying to settle down in a different country. Nobody was there. So my family has guided me so much to go there and settle. But still I always miss my family. And there was like it's like an elastic life there like you get frustrated at certain point of time like being routine like what I was doing every day like at one point I was looking at my life like I'm getting up taking care of the kids working 9 to5 and then spending time with my family I did not see much growth in my career

4:36 Like if I was fully concentrating doing lot of certifications if I want to focus totally on my IT career then definitely I would have had a very good life change of companies but my focus was always on doing something different in India. I always wanted to come back to India do or explore some business opportunity do something new rather than having a systematic life. I wanted to give even my family that opportunity to decide. It's not just I just wanted to come back and forced my family. I gave time for my family to decide and then when they were ready we moved back to India. >> Got it. And no thanks for sharing

5:15 That. So sounds like I think your interest is more towards business than having this career in IT or you know growth. so that's always there in the back of the mind and so why 10 years or 11 years after going to US like is there a certain thing that triggered our family was able to come to a decision what changed to make that decision not early or not later but in 11 years for you to decide to move to India >> yes that's a good question and that's an actually it would be a funny answer so when I came here right we we study for a one and a half year then we have a two year or three year work permit and during after my masters I wanted to come back. My family was like no you went there you spend so much you learn something try to work for a while so I worked for like a year or two and then I wanted to come back then my family was like no you are there in US get married spend some quality time with your wife roam around. So I got married. me and

6:16 My wife like we were here for almost two to three years. We roamed around all over the United States. We had very good time and then I wanted to come back. Then my family was like having US citizen is always beneficial. So why don't you think about it and then move back to India. So then okay I got one kid then after one kid I wanted to come back. Then my sister got married and came to US. So again I had to stay there for a couple of days and then again when I wanted to come back my family was like what about second kid why it it would always be disturbing between them if they want to go back abroad. We never know 20 years later how big India would be or how bad or good United States would be. Kids would always have an opportunity to have US Indian citizenship if they come back here. But if they want to go and work in United States they would have an easy opportunity because they would be US citizens. So have two kids there then two kids then I wanted to come back after my second kid. So my wife was like

7:18 No this time I'm not ready I need some time at give me one year for me to make up my mind because we both were working she was also she was also working for a bank she was making good money and she like no give me some time to decide because going back to India is not easy know because we got used to this life this kids we were in a very big home so we had a very nice lifestyle there and coming back to India we cannot expect that lifestyle here right so she wanted some time and then at certain point having two kids having routine life taking care of kids my kids are too much naughty messy I troublesome so they they were like me when I was a kid so so at some point I was like so much frustrated like I'm not having any growth in my life I'm unable to focus on my career I cannot do anything else so I was like why don't I go back but after coming back more than us kids are the most happiest people they're having so much good time here like if if they're doing anything wrong. I we tell them let's go back to United States and they keep

8:19 Crying like no no no please I'll be a good boy I'll be here I want to be here I don't want to go back >> got it so yeah no thanks for sharing that I think you know it's one after the other I think the goal keeps changing so eventually I think you know I'm curious I think you know what's the decision process I know you

8:37 Mentioned about your wife right I think you are ready you wanted to move whenever I think you know you got the green signal from the family or from everyone So if you can talk a little bit about your wife's thought process you know as you said you know it's a well established you have a comfortable life and what she thought through and how she was able to make a decision to move back to India if there's anything that you can share from that perspective. >> Yes. So I have my family here so I can say like anytime let's go back let's go back. It's not easy for her because we were there like we got married in 2018. We were there for almost six plus years six to seven years we were there in US. So she was never interested like the first condition that we had during our marriage was like no more than one year in US. So that that was the condition her family and she had when we got married but things change you know like only like if you take the family like it's only both of us there.

9:32 So it's a different lifestyle. She gets to do whatever she want. She like I helped her in achieving her goals. So she was working in a very she was working for bank. She was making very good money. She had very good lifestyle. So it's only both of us and our kids. So she had a very good lifestyle and she was very very happy. And when when we had the discussions of coming back to India and especially coming back like most of the people live alone, right? Like >> yes >> they live with their family. Most of the times I see like parents live separate and they live separate within Hyderabad and cities as well. But it's not the same scenario for us like I live in a home where 20 people live. So it it was not easy. She grew up in a joint family as well where there were 15 20 people in our house as well. But after getting used to that lifestyle, we had luxury cars, we had very good house, we had home theater, we were roaming, we were going for a lot of trips, we were going to out of country like we used to go to every six months we used to go to out of country places and every two three months we used to go within US. So we

10:34 Had a very nice lifestyle. It was a go to India. She was like I want to work for at least one more year. I want to save some money after going back to India. It's not easy for you because even though your family is well established, you have to do something. You have to work. You have to set up some like an India. You want you have some plans do it. But it will take at least two to three years for you to settle down, earn some money. So at least I want to save some money and I don't want to be dependent on you or the family members. So it took her like more than a year time to decide and then I gave her like so we came we we came on 2023 December for my cousin sister's wedding so we went back 2024 Jan she said me give me one year time exactly Jan 2025 I reminded her you asked me for one year time one year time is done let's go back to India so like I appreciate her so much because she knew that I can do something better here than

11:35 There because she was seeing me how frustrated I was doing the same routine IT job since morning to evening being on the calls no growth so my mind was very much broad and different when before working in IT so as I got addicted to this IT job I was seeing the difference in myself like how I was 10 years ago what was my thought process what was my vision all those were reducing so and like I decided okay I'm already 33 years old if If I be another two or three years here, I'm not going to go back to India. I'll get used to this life and I'll be here. That's it. So being in US and both of like both wife and husband working, you'll have a good lifestyle, you'll save good amount of money, but you'll not have like a serious growth.

12:23 Now you want to set up some industries, you want to do some business. It's not easy working on H1B visa, working on 9 to5 job, taking care of kids and then doing something else. I have a lot of friends back there who are into constructions who are into hotels but all of them did it after getting green card or after turning 40s where their kids become little older and they don't have much dependencies but my vision was way before them. So that is the reason why I wanted to come back early.

12:55 >> Makes sense. So I know you kind of touched on a subtle point which I wanted to expand if you are okay like I think you know one of the you know concern or like the thing to consider is living by yourself in a nuclear family you your wife and kids and then move to a big joint family 20 people is a big big change you know when you have that comfortable life how did she made up the mind or maybe you can talk about her adjustment or anything like that because that's a big thing especially from a woman's side right I think you know who has that kind of a flexibility while living abroad and you know when they are coming back to India. So anything that you can share on that settle point anything that you can expand on it. >> Mhm. Yes. So basically yeah she made up her mind in one year. Okay I have to save some money. I should not depend on family members or this and then speaking frequently to family members and knowing things how things work out in the family like back there you wake up anytime you have bath or no you go to kitchen you cook for your kids because they go to

13:55 School early but here it's not like that you have to wake up early when you are with a family you wake up anytime but you want to come to kitchen you have to have bath you cannot come to kitchen without having bath so there are a lot of things right so she was like talking to like my mother like finding out how things work out then slowly slowly make she made up her mind okay this is how it is going to be this is how I have to be and then the best thing what she did was like after coming to India what many people do like there are in every stage of life right like once you get married people initially try to show so much love so much affection spend so much money to their spouses initially and then slowly once they get turn on they reduce it that creates some differences.

14:42 So the better solution for that is you have to be yourself from beginning not try to show off more or try to be over friendly or something like that. So same thing here once we move once we moved back to India also right so from initial onward she's trying to maintain certain standard with the family because at the initial stage we have flexibility in the family they don't tell you anything they don't ask you to work they don't force you to do certain things and if you're trying to be too nice initially and then slowly being different it's different right so what she's trying to do is she's trying to be like herself how she wanted to be after coming back to India like from day one onwards She is like that. Okay. I want certain things in the kitchen to be this way. So we have like 12 bedrooms in the house like yeah 12 to 14 bedrooms in my house because so many people live right. So her first condition was after moving back I want the room to be fully changed. I want the cupboards to be different. I want the bed to be different. I want certain

15:42 Furniture and all this. So she set some priorities for me. She gave me like conditions like once moving back to India these are the three things I'm asking you. One, I want the kitchen certain area. I want to bring my US appliances. I want certain space even though however it is. Second, I want the full room to be different. So like we came back initially. So we did the that first itself. After being here for a month or two, if I try to ask my family members, okay, I want these changes, I want those changes, they'll be like no no like so from initial onwards, we have decided like we made a plan. Okay, after coming this is the very first thing we have to get it done. So now the after coming initially I said like my parents I want to get the furniture done and all they will say okay get it done because we just moved back right so we are trying to set the standard so it's the same suggestion I'm giving to a lot of people once you move back to India and if you are with family members whatever you was your thoughts don't be shy don't be like ah what would they think and all whatever you are feeling and what was

16:42 Your priority get it done initially if you are whatever is your priority from beginning it will go like that. >> Got it. No, thanks for sharing that and you know being very specific on that particular point. Really appreciate it.

16:55 So let's talk about your own ambitions, right? I think where you want to start your own business and you know the entrepreneurship. maybe you can talk a little bit about you know your plans or journey on that side. because that's one of the major factor where you want to you know grow and do something. So anything that you can share at this point or what you have plans yeah that would be helpful. >> Yes. So basically we have lot of opportunities in India. So people think what can what we can do what we can do what we can do but India is growing so much. There are lot of opportunities. I've been seeing like people are multiple people changed from it to agriculture side. Multiple people are coming into industrial side. They're finding different ways to make sustainable products. They're finding different ways to start new products, organic products, healthy products. So there are various places where you can target. Now you can take every sector.

17:52 If you take kids, you can go into kids clothing. You can go into kids toys because I still did not see that much quality products there. Maybe I just came in, I didn't explore much, but the way I'm living in my hometown, the way I'm seeing the quality of products. So there are many areas where we can step in like like I said like baby side or sustainable product side or setting up some industries you can start from anywhere. So basically currently from the last one month I'm trying to explore my opportunities. I have certain things in my mind. So my family doesn't want me to pitch in existing businesses because it's all organized. Even though if I enter in there's nothing that I can do or improve because everything is fully organized from morning till night.

18:39 So everything is is taking care of it. My brother is taking care of it. I don't want better. So they gave me some opportunity and time to decide why don't you sit down? Why don't you explore some opportunities? Why don't you write a thesis or why don't you prepare document about what you want to do? like if you want to focus on particular industry why don't you explore that industry I we will get you contacts go around roam around explore that industries so when my family wanted to build a hotel they they went to more than 100 plus hotels in all over the country and they built it we have a mall so my uncle went more than like he went to Pune he went to Vijayada he went all over India to see how a mall operates and all now they're operating everything so similarly the the best part I'm having is I'm having a proper guidance from my family because my family is well educated and they're into businesses from last 40 50 years into various industries they're into various industries so I'm having proper guidance from them but it's time for me to sit down and write a proper thesis roam

19:40 Around and explore some opportunities >> got it makes sense so if it's okay I

19:45 Mean can we talk a little bit on your financial planning so since you have you know the thought of moving back to India all the time so how did you go about investments or savings. I don't know if you did the 401ks or investments in India and also what you did with your financial asset. So if you can talk anything on that aspect that would be fantastic. >> Mhm. Yes. So I have a house back there and I do have a townhouse. So I have two houses. One is my like primary home and I had a investment home and I we both me and my wife had 401k Roth IRA. We had an LLC and we had an SCP IRA as well. So currently we have lot of funds in our 401ks and Roth IRS and SCP IRS. It is still there like that. We we are planning to just leave it there for now because we are not having any financial struggle or hurdle as of now. so and both of my properties like I tried to sell my primary home because primary home like town houses can go for rent easily but primary homes is very

20:47 Tough to go. was not that easy and I bought my house back during co time peak so my em so I tried to list it for sale it didn't go for sale so the major mistake that I did was I decided to go back to India in January but I listed my property for sale in March and >> after moving back >> yeah almost like March I moved back during May April but I listed in March and currently the market situation is not good so it did not go so what I did I gave power of attorney to my brother-in-law who is there and I listed my property for rent currently. >> Sure. >> So I I told everyone like I suggested many people in the groups or when they when I talked to them if you're planning to move back to India next year list your property for sale this year because it might take a while.

21:36 Even in very good school zone areas the houses are going for very lesser price. So if you have certain number or certain plan I'm telling people like on an average in my community I observed was houses were going for sale between 3 to 8 months. >> So you never know how much time it's going to take. There are a lot of options like you can sell your house and you can give an option like I want to be in the same house for rent and for another six months. >> Sure I have seen people who have done that >> as a part of the contract. You can definitely do that. Yes, >> you can definitely do that. So what I suggest people is if you are planning to move back to India and don't want burden on your primary home, list it for sale, sell it and come and you list it as early as possible. So it might take anywhere between 3 months to eight months, right? So that's what I'm saying. And very good school zone, schools go quickly. My house was in a medium school zone. So it's taking time

22:30 And in summer time lot of houses lot of people try to move like there were 20 plus houses in for sale when I was trying to move in my community. >> Okay. Got it. And you said I think you moved back to your hometown. is your hometown in Hyderabad or some other places. So I think that's that like decision process in terms of like relocating back I'm assuming. So yeah. >> Yeah. I'm in a tay to city in Isamabad. Okay. >> it's a top it's in top five city in Telangana and it's a very good city. There are there are a lot of industries. There are a lot of hotels, malls, movie theaters, everything everything is there. Not much it there is no IT here currently but it's like a regular tay to city. Very well established to city. >> Got it. >> And it's like we are far only two two to three hours away from Hyderabad. >> Yes. >> My family initially wanted me to settle down in Hyderabad. the like you were in US why don't you settle down in Hyderabad try to explore some opportunities there but I was like no I want to be with family currently but if I if I explore some opportunity or any

23:30 Industry when I'm making certain product if I want for a good growth then I'll try to move there for a certain period of time but as of now I don't have much plans to move there. >> Got it. Understood. >> I don't like cities traffic too much stress. >> Yeah. So how is the life thus far? I

23:48 Know it's been like only a short duration but I think you already mentioned about the kids like they are the one who is enjoying the most. So in general how is the life and how is how are things going so far? >> Yeah initial worry was about kids. So they're very much happy because my parents my whole family members live here. My wife's parents also are from the same hometown. So whenever we are stressed they come take the kids and go. So kids are having very much like my brother my cousin he's a doctor his two kids are also pretty much my kids age one is seven years and another is four years. So there are kids in the home so they are very much happy. So our major worry and stress was about the kids how would they settle. So the major problem with the kids was initially summer right we moved in summer it was too much hot for them they were getting lot of rashes because we are in a clean like our house is always clean I mean but in here we always keep that getting dust it's that's how the climate and that's how here it is so we keep getting lot of dust they keep running here and

24:49 There they touch here and there they eat with the same hands so kids initially had some trouble but it's okay they'll get used to it for their immunity kids are very happy no no problem but The major stress is on us currently because my family like put pressure on me like generally people when they move back from US to India they have certain plans they have certain vision okay when I move back to India I'll be working for this company or I'm going to explore this particular industry and I'll go around roam around look at those properties mills and get it done so I haven't done any of that homework back there because last 3 four months moving back was very stressful we have to do a lot of packing we have to do mowing and we have to figure out for the kids schooling and there are a lot of things and it's not that much easy and I was stressed out that I don't want to be here in it anymore. So now that I I I told my family give me a month or two I'm going to decide what I'm going to do. I'll explore and I'll do some lot of research and then I'll start something.

25:51 So the stress is on us not on the kids. So >> yeah cool. any advice or anything

25:57 That we haven't talked that you wanted to share with our audience? >> Yeah, so couple of things I wanted to tell people when they want to move back to India. First thing decide what they're going to do here. I've seen some people like I had lot of my friends who moved back for their own companies. They gave they gave an opportunity to they got it. So if you want to move back to India and if your family is not into businesses if you want to work in IT don't just come back decide. I had a friend who applied for a lot of companies he got an opportunity in Bangalore and he moved back from California to Bangalore. So similarly explore certain opportunities once you get an opportunity then only come back.

26:48 After coming back getting a job is not easy and people have certain pay grade like working in US I'm making this much money I want to earn this much you can earn that much money easily only if you do an internal transfer and if you are there and if you are applying jobs here companies try to give you some priority and give you good pay grade so have a good plan and vision when once you once you move so like from day one you have to be into something because everybody will be questioning you hey you came back what are you going to do what are you going to and handling finances for 2 three months is okay but after that you need to have enough funds to take care of yourselves if you don't have any job or not so regarding career that is the thing and I've seen a lot of people looking for houses and all so same thing if you don't want if you don't have a house and want to be in any gated community and all look for it decide and directly come and settle down and then third thing moving people are moving like people for moving back from there

27:48 To here right there are a lot of opport options you have career service you have shipping service you have containers you have flights so I found flights option was the best so that's what I was trying to advise people so if there are multiple ways to send all of your household items get rid of as much as things possible try to get the minimal stuff just your household items clothing you are getting everything in India I've seen people getting dining tables, drawers, dressers from US. It's not needed because everything is available here. You get better quality. You get cheaper prices if you look for any warehouses. And certain people bring TVs. People don't pay for crates, wooden crates while bringing TVs. My own friend did not pay for wooden crate. He bought an 85 in TV. His TV got damaged because he did not get a wooden crates because people were quoting around $300 for wooden crates. And if you want to go instead of container, I would recommend everyone getting things in flight. It's

28:49 Much much easy. So I bought around around 40 pieces of luggage in flight. It was very cheaper than container because container it was costing me around $120 to $140 per box and it comes in 6 months. I don't even remember what is there in that. I came in flight flights all these itihad emirates they are giving options for very cheaper. You can get boxes as low as between $100 to $120 also. So flight getting things in flight is easier and I did not pay any customs also. The customs officer saw me with so much luggage. He asked me what is all this. I said I moved back from India and I don't have any appliances. It's just clothing and all. So he said okay you're good to go and I came back. But people I saw people complaining they went to port area where they opened each and every box. It was very hectic for them. Sure.

29:40 >> So these are the things I would suggest. >> No. Yeah. valuable suggestions. So thank you very much for sharing your story with us and all the best with your you know plans and getting into entrepreneurship role and good luck with everything and thanks again from all of us. >> Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much for watching this. >> Yes, for sure.