Watch: From Lack of House Help to Health Goals: Why I Moved Back to India After 10 Years in US

3:02 Kept increasing as your kids grow as your life moves on while the health started deteriorating and it just started getting really tough to balance you know equality the work life you know everything so and then I had my second child and with the second kid the health issue like really skyrocketed it went really bad to where you know my daughter when she was just born she was hardly a few you know kgs and even with those like two and a half three kges if I would take it in my hand within seconds my hand would be like entirely numb so I would like just lose the feeling I tried a lot of physical therapies you know a lot of doctor visits there but it wasn't working out as well as I thought and I needed you know to balance their quality of life started getting really challenging and and then it was always you know we were always contemplating whether we should

4:03 Move back to India and or we should stay here moving back to India of course it's you know you're going to have a huge family support system a lot of facilities in terms of helpers you've got M you've got drivers but then again United States has its own you know luxury money so both had their pros and cons and it was always a hard decision especially after spending like 10 years it's just you'll always be like maybe what if it's if I'm wrong you know so so my son was about 6 years and my

5:04 Old and we took this decision keeping in mind that what if the kids do not settle what if my child has a hard time what if I'm not able to settle so we wanted to keep that window where my husband while you know he was in United States and I would just try out how it works out here and then so finally the day came we just left and to be very honest even when I was just it was completely like I'm packed up I'm just leaving United States after living there for 10 years you know I knew it was the right decision because on my way to the airport there was not even a shred of regret and honestly that's exactly I would put it in words you know when I looked back I was like I'm not going to miss anything here I was just looking forward to be in India so that's when I was like no okay it's it's the right decision and just we came back here initial time it was a bit hard so yeah I mean I moved back to India and I was staying with my in-laws and you know it's it's not an easy decision it's not

6:06 An easy you know thing when you've been you know 10 years in United States you change your entire personality and you come back here it's hard for them also to accommodate with you know the new you plus it's hard for you also because you've seen a whole different life and

6:20 You're trying to accommodate back here which is like there's a huge difference and it takes a while to get used to even for the kids it took a while but yeah I mean all in all over time you learn how to accommodate you learn how to adjust you have to give and take it's all about give and take it's the life was hard there it's going to have challenges here but it's all about the priorities that you have and U being here allows a lot of good quality time and you know a lot of other things but I mean primarily yes the so I mean that's the story of you know how we moved back here why we moved back here and you know yeah over to you aanes great I think you know thanks a lot for that overview sounds like as a kid you have grown up in this large family with you know a lot of people around you there was some initial you know challenges just to be by yourself with your husband you know it's a little bit of a different environment so and then you know I think after 10 years I think the decision was made I think the one wedding changed the entire Dynamic so

7:23 If you can talk a little bit you know for how long have you been thinking about moving back to India what was some of the consideration like anything you know the particular trigger for this incident so I think you just like yes let's make an move or was there some logical like okay this is the plan you know from I think you kind of touched a little bit about on the career side and I know if we don't adjust like you know so I just want to peel it a little bit more if you can to talk on that aspect like you know for how long have you been thinking about moving back to India and why this and then how did you approach it like you know for how long have you been planning you know once you made a decision is it like 6 months one year now once you made a decision yes let's move back and then how did you approach it I think that would be very helpful sure sure n you know I guess right after I started you know having a lot of health issues especially after you know the first kid and it was worse at a time to a point where you know like there were two phases two times when it got really bad

8:23 So first time with my first child after my first child there was a time when I was like literally in you know bed no medications and all they weren't working really great and I was always like you know it's it's when you're always constantly in pain when you're in suffering you tend to become a lot more frustrated you tend to become a lot more you know Angry all the time the quality of life your own mental health it all starts you know gradually deteriorating and you know even with the family and the relationships everything it starts getting hard because of the circumstances it's not because you want to do it it's just just because of the circumstances and that kind of started triggering the thought you know maybe we just shouldn't move back to India the parents were also getting old so my dad he also is a heart patient and I always felt like I was close to him I wanted to spend you know it's it's if truth I mean it's a truth that you know whatever limited time you have I wanted to make sure you know the left over time I'm just going to spend with him with my mom so it was always on the back of the Mind

9:25 Probably right after miss the first child we kind of started thinking about it but then it started kind of getting you know more momentum especially after the second child where I was like struggling with my physical health with my mental health like I said it kind of started spiraling me into U you know depression what we you know call PPD postpartum depression and then so you know just those were the kind of trigger points and eventually we just made the decision okay we're going to move and how we prepared for it was like we requested our parents to just come back here so after you know my daughter was about two months I resumed my work and we I mean certainly it was helpful to have them over so we had our parents over and we kind of sent like as much possible luggage back with them home and then again we started repacking with whatever leftover stuff we had we can't take

10:27 Everything for sure but we just packed you know the best whatever we could and you know it was easy to come here because we already had a home here like we didn't have to go search for places and also you know a lot of people told me that why are you moving to udur it's a very small City you're in United States you are you should move to a Metro at least Mumbai Pune Hyderabad please do not go to there but it's a small City but this city you know with the family with the support system I have it always had my heart I was always very sure you know that I want to move back here it was always all my people you know around me because if I'm in a different city it's again the same whole story I mean I'm on my own again right so so the decision was easy we knew we're going to move back here we have a house here so that was kind of you know a big thing always where to settle how to settle that was you know lot more clear and then eventually you know that's how gradually the leftover stuff

11:29 You know when my husband he came back he brought along with him and we still have boxes lying around at friends places so probably when he's going to move back the next go back for visit next time we're just going to get you know maybe a package or two again but yeah I mean sort of everything is settled here now great so I think you mentioned this so you kind of moved to the In-laws family so you decided to go back to wur so just curious I think I'm assuming you are working there as you said so on a career front you want to take a

12:01 Break and then spend time I'm just curious on that because especially like you know when you're choosing a place where to relocate to this is also another aspect right you know kids education you know your career you know spouse's career and so on so maybe you can talk a little bit about your career transition and you kind of gave an indication about your husband's so definitely would be interested to know if you're open to share how he transitioned I think you know he spent some time and then if you're still living in the same udur if so how did the transition happen in the career front so if you can touch a little bit about that that would be very helpful on a career transition for you and for your spouse yeah certainly certainly so yeah I mean I worked there for about 10 years in the it field itself so I was with HP and then I switched to human and from Human I switched to the state you know cabinet project so when I left I was on a state you know transportation cabinet project and I initially I had to you know quit you know job it was for the

13:02 Better of the you know all of us I mean for the kids for me so the first you know one or one and a half year I really did not actually want to even go back to work I wanted to focus first on my health so I came back here I started once the kids were and we were a bit settled I started yoga classes here I started going myself for you know healing or for the you know better of my situation and then gradually it caught up with me so much I got so intrigued I just went ahead and applied for a certification you know program I got trained and I got a certified you know practitioner in that I became a certified practitioner so then I started you know taking just classes on the side as a small thing you you've been into work always so it's hard to just stay at home not do anything productive so that was just a small you know change initially how I Incorporated these things in my life and then after a couple years I guess once the kids were old enough to now my daughter is you know four years I mean five years actually so at that time when they start

14:05 Understanding a fair deal enough your situation they can also easily you know see okay mom is working hard Dad is working hard they kind of resonate and then I now I currently run a cafe also here of my own and it allows me a lot more flexibility compared to your 926 corporate jobs and you know I've got a team who can handle and then I can just pit in whenever as and when needed so it allows a lot better quality time with the kids and a lot more you know time to focus on other things as well and plus it also satisfies my need for being productive and you know not just staying at home kind of thing so that's for my part and I also take you know as in when I consult for yoga therapy kind of things not really I don't take classes as much but especially where the healing part comes where people struggle with mental health issues anxiety issues so I definitely do a consultation kind of thing for them just to help them out through those things for my husband like I mentioned previously his

15:06 Company was in baby ears when we moved back here so he stayed back there for about one and half two years he was supposed to come back here like five six months after I moved but then covid hit he got stuck it took him two years to move here and I was here with my kids for like two years it was a hard time to be very honest it was really hard the kids were little but I mean just we made through it and he came back here and his he owns a software business company so and it's the work is outsourced here in India itself so it's easier to coordinate with the offshore work here and he takes you know his meetings onite like with the US clients and his team there during the nighttime it's a little bit challenging because you know he has to work late in the night sometimes but I mean I guess then he gets free day time so we're just getting through it we want to you know figure out these these years and once we get settled we're trying we're hoping

16:08 We'll retire early and then just you live a good life yeah so that's about the career but and all here that's great sounds like both of you have transitioned from a professional jobs or like from a regular corporate world to an entrepreneur congratulations to you I think you know you not only Embrace yoga for healing but also like you know become a certified trainer to you know support other people or to train others as well as establishing you know Cafe and keeping yourself productive and you know the flexibility and your husband I'm assuming the this the software development company is in wur only itself or okay no so his company is based out of United States actually he's got a partner in so we've got an American who is partner his company is actually based out of United States the work the clients are from United States his work is outsourced to an Indian company here which is based

17:09 Out of udur okay now that's what yes so that makes it easier what else yeah nice so sounds like I think on a career front it's all transition so maybe now switching back a little bit you know you mentioned I think it took two years which was a little bit hard especially having you know spouses separated with the young kids yeah so I don't know if there's anything that you can share because that is not like some typical plan I mean but some people might be considering it you know just the pro is to give the flexibility in case if something doesn't work out you can go back or there could be some other commitments that one SP might have to to wrap it up from your perspective or from your experience if there is anything that you can share like as an insights you know maybe better to do this or do that or anything that you can share just curious that would be helpful if somebody was thinking in

18:00 Along those lines yes I mean as far as transitioning I think the decision that we took where one spouse moves back here and the other stays back there I think that was that worked out really well for us because it allowed us you know time to think and you know I can say assess the things around you the environment where you want to stay is it going to work or not and you had your open so that kind of really helped us out it was just unfortunately there was the circumstances where he had to stay back he would have moved back earlier too but I mean I am a strong believer in just going with the flow so it seems hard at that time when you're doing something which is different which is you know a change but then once that's through once you become successful once you achieve what you're looking for it sounds easier than you know it looked before you know so I guess now it's much more easier and

19:03 Of course you know we look forward to trips back to United States he goes there for work once in a while but and I'm more excited now because I get to do a lot more shopping from there now because I was bored once I was staying there I was like no no nothing more but yeah I mean the kids are also more excited you know to travel we are certainly you know planning to expose them you know probably a couple maybe months or year down the lane we're going to take them back there my daughter is always curious mama can you show me the house where I was born and you know why did you give it up to others and I'm like okay we're going to take you there and show you but yeah I mean I think that's one of the good things you can do is to First assess and to make up your mind first where to settle how to settle schoolwise also it's important you know school is a very important aspect for us for me it was a lot more easier because I had you know my siblings their kids were already going to a school and one of the renowned branches like Delhi

20:03 Public school is pretty well known you know so it had a branch here already so we already had our mindset even though the school the admission process was already taken care of by my parents so it made things a lot more easier to use your support system here to get things prepped for you while you're preparing to come back here and then because then they are not struggling you know at that point to you know just get through things you got get the child educated and get them into school and it's a big deal I mean it's a big thing to get your child right school and all it's a big decision for us but that was kind of a really you know much sorted out and then you know once I stayed here I the kind of profession I'm in I get to do a lot of events I get to do with school work with schools so once I found out okay know I really like the school better after knowing their management after knowing the team I just switched my child to the school to the board whichever I liked and since it was initial ears of the kids it's like once they are in a bigger class it's hard the

21:06 Transitions are difficult for the child because they're in a bigger class we brought them here early in their earlier years so kids are very I think what to say I mean you know versatile or they're very resilient I mean that's the right word so it is hard for them initially but they get accommodated now you know yeah so so yes I mean he just switched to a different school now that you know he's kind of used to the atmosphere Indian kids and you know he enjoys playing around for two hours or three hours cricket and it's all the games you know the Gully Cricket the Gully games that we've you know we've grown up seeing and playing and those kind of experiences so I think that's most of it I mean yeah so if you can touch a little bit about the kids right I think you kind of covered like you know the plan on the kids side you specifically mentioned about the curriculum a little bit so when you

22:08 Initially like what curriculum were you thinking and then after you got used to working with some schools or seeing some things like you mentioned that maybe switched so especially for your Elder one who was I think maybe in the first grade when you moved so if we can talk a little bit about that and the journey that they took and then how well they adjusted that would be you know helpful mhm yeah sure so when we move back here we moved to a cbsc board U since all the the initial when we moved here the decision to put them in a cbsc board was based on since all the cousins are going there he'd have at least some circle he'll at least have some known faces and it'll probably be easier for him to you know get used to here because he comes from a completely American culture it's

22:55 A huge change for him so that was the reason we just put him up front in the cbsc board but then as I observed him you know through his studies he seemed to be more practical you know work oriented he isn't a child who really likes a lot of theory and you a lot of writing which is typically your cbsc kind of you know syllabus curriculum so we had a couple you know IB board schools and Cambridge board schools here so I explored those schools and then I felt the Cambridge Ward was a lot more suitable to his needs especially even if you you know I if you go to the bigger cities they're now all transitioning towards the IBS and Cambridge boards so keeping that in mind it seemed like the future is sort of more better with the Cambridge and IB board cbsc might be fine this is my opinion this is how I felt somebody else might have a different opinion but you know since

23:56 By 18 they can even choose whether they want to go to United States or they want to stay here there another option and Cambridge gives them that ability or IB gives them that ability where they can more transition into you know the curriculum over there so that's why that was the reason you know I just shifted him to Cambridge board and honestly my daughter was also initially from the start day one she was in the you know Cambridge only and she really loved it like I saw how it brought out you know the difference in her how she was learning how she was you know presenting things how she was growing so I was like you know satisfied okay this is what you know where my child needs to be and when the kids are in school it's an important thing that you don't have the kids in different schools because it it's hard for the parents especially also because different exam times different PTM times everything is on a different you know kind of thing so it's hard to keep up with that rather it's better to have a

24:57 Same school where you can have same you know holiday pattern same exam patterns everything is same it's easier they go together so we moved both of them to the same school and he's happy actually he really likes it there which kind of you know like put the final seal okay I made the right decision because he's happily going to the school he likes it here and that's it I mean okay that's great maybe this is another point that you touched like I moving to wur like maybe I'm just using like a te two City this is not like a big Metro so how the life has been I think you've been living there for 5 years as you mentioned you know living in a different country would give a different perspective the personalities would change you were you know the discussions that you're having with the like-minded people you know those are things right I mean are like some of the facilities some of the amenities so just curious if people who are considering to move to a te two City any inputs any suggestions or any thoughts from your

25:58 Perspective that you can share sure sure sure so I mean for me the number one thing is it's all about your priority so if depending on what your priority is you're going to have to give and take you know a few things anywhere you're stay whether it's United States whether it's udur so if I'm in United States I certainly have the luxury the cleanliness the you know ease of amenities and everything the ease of availability like I make a call and to 991 and there like a police car there's an ambulance and everything here on time it is possible here that you make call and it takes you get stuck in traffic you know those are there are certainly it is under development while us is a developed City and especially even then this is a tier to city but then udur is you know now it is really growing it has become a celebrity destination you know kind of a wedding destination so considering all of those things since our economy it seems like you know know it's growing actually the improvements

27:00 Are coming in initially when we came here it was like okay my son used to tell me mamaya Ro for you know why why are there you know cows moving and you know just pooping around on the roads and why are the you know there why is it so unsystematic like how the the way the cars travel and do all these things so definitely it is you know a change it is much different but like I said it's about the priority that was not really important for me what was more important was so now if I I also get my time here like I get to you know get that what you can say like a mental break kind of thing where I can even give my kids the space they can go to their Nan's house to their daddy's house they have their own space I have my space we both have a better life off here we get to spend time with the parents with our families you know we have a better quality of life here considering so many affordable you know helpers the going back even to the

28:03 You know extracurricular activities for the kids so my son goes for chess he goes for football if I had to do the same thing up in United States it would cost me a lot more compared to the personal training I can provide him here I also have a separate you know personal trainers for my daughter and I can you know enroll them in two or three different activities and if you see MoneyWise as well there's a huge difference so plus the E also where I can afford a driver who can send them everywhere without having too much you know burden on me or my husband we all can live our lives but also we can be together as well so that's kind of you know which was more important for me so we focused on making that better and you know so you have to always adjust a little bit everywhere it's always a give and take everywhere anywhere you would stay so even if I was United States the quality of life was terribly compromised for me especially and I was not ready to take that so I think I was more kind of

29:06 Inclined towards giving up on a little bit of luxury or amenities which is fine by me so I mean we' raised in a very you know like a middle class very not a very high demanding kind of family so it's fine I mean for us yeah for sure yeah thanks for sharing that maybe is there any topic that we have haven't covered that you would like to bring up and share your thoughts on that H not really that I can think of right now okay yeah probably come to me later I drop the message sure any thoughts for future return to India aspirants that you wanted to share yeah I mean I think India is like really growing especially I've seen a lot of inclination of people towards you know establishing startups and all and I'm actually actively involved in startup clubs with you know mentors with

30:08 Some really good people who are doing

30:10 Really good with their startups who've got a really you know even a lot of female entrepreneurs and seems like we're on a you know growth track on a better economy track so actually the scope seems to be much better here even the learning curve when you're in a develop in Phase it's a lot more learning compared to when you just go into a developed product like when you're seeing something from scratch growing you learn a lot of good and bad and lessons from you know failure and success and all of that compared to you just you're handed over a you know developed and tested product and you're just using it okay fine there might be some shortcomings but yeah I mean so yeah I feel if you feel I mean you assess your pros and cons you assess your priorities if it feels for some of you know our friends that we had I mean it was like they had a toxic you know maybe social life here when they came back here so that was not even an option for them so their priority was

31:10 Having a better life which was more kind of suitable in United States for them so that was the priority for them and that's why us would be right decision for them so you've got to assess your Pros your cons your priorities what you're really looking for understand all of that and also figure out where you're really trying to settle down and how it's it's going to be for the kids what kind of support system you're going to have that's really important when you're trying to settle down otherwise again you're going to end up in the same you know spiral of frustration and not being able to do things and having too much burden mental burden physical burden so it's just try to get that Clarity prior as much as you can and then with that you can proceed and then you come back here you try and to me I would always regret not trying to move back here I would have regretted not trying rather than you know just you know being afraid of failure or not being committed to something I mean I would always prefer trying and then

32:14 Deciding rather than just regretting okay I should have decided maybe I should have it would have been you know those kind of things so that was my perspective on this yeah definitely yeah thanks for sharing it's always the what's important for you at a given phase of the life and decision so I a firm believer in making a decision whether to stay or whether to move or instead of like let the life pass by right I think that's a critical one you know just make a decision and yes exactly exactly I mean and you know it's normal I mean we all make mistakes when you're taking a decision you don't know if that's going to be right or wrong in future but you have to make a decision that's I mean that's as simple as you can say it has to be a decision you can't just leave it hanging hanging because you're then you do not belong here and you do not belong there you're just hanging in between you're just always confused in dilemma always you know those kind of things so just yeah that's great I think you know those are that's all I have for now

33:14 And thank you very much for taking the time and sharing your journey and how the life has been you know in a tear to City especially for somebody who has been living here for almost 5 years in India so really appreciate you taking the time and sharing your journey with us thanks thank you it's been a pleasure I mean and hopefully if we can even Inspire or help just maybe one or two people that would be know well worth of this time that's definitely I think that's the goal of the channel is to capture these stories because there are certain stories that people resonate very well even if it's one or two people that's much you know worth it hting like sorry to interrupt but when I even spoke to you just knowing your thought process helps me confirm okay now maybe even I made the right decision because people are going to tell you that you made the wrong decision you're thinking you know you were unfair to the case or whatever I mean you're going to hear 100 things from people but when you hear you know positive reinforcing kind of things

34:16 You kind of get a comfort like okay no maybe somebody else has a similar experience so you're not wrong yeah there's no right or wrong I think people have about your perspective and what works for you yes exactly great thanks a lot pry again for your time and appreciate it same here same here thank you so much all right thank you all for joining us on this insightful Journey Of Da return if you enjoyed this episode and want to explore more stories and expert advice make sure to subscribe and hit the notification Bell don't forget to leave a comment below with your thoughts and experiences by the way check out the links in the description below for our Facebook group and social media for updates and engaging discussions as well as connecting with fellow the wrers thank you once again and until next time may your Des written journey be filled with joy growth and endless possibilities