Watch: Back to India: Why We Chose Bangalore - A Family's Journey from New Jersey

3:48 Were living in Jersey City and then everybody when they got married and have kids were moved to a nice Society so everybody was living there so from 12 we went to like 24 and then to 36 so that was an amazing journey where you I was like we were all friends but it's like a core group and family group so we were sharing our goods and bads and all the celebration in life so that was good and professionally everybody did grow in their career including me my wife and the whole idea of living there for to years was we we were getting a definitely a good salary we were getting a good work life balance that was pretty important and for me spending time with my family and kid was very important and that was my major reason why I wanted not to come

4:50 Back to India but then there were reasons that triggered the the move but that was one of the plus point and then what we thought about moving to us was somehow it it came to our mind that once you are in US you want to spend wisely but see life for yourself so moving to different countries and going through the culture food was be became our import one one of our priority so every year we went go places look around do a nice holiday vacation with our kid so that make sure that she also gets the to see how different cultures are and get the exposure so in this toil years we moved a lot we also come to India regularly and we were we are very close to our parents and the decision that triggered us to move back to India was

5:51 That I was getting a feeling that our parents need support though they won't tell you up front that we want you to be here but you can get that feeling once you talk to them so it's more about thinking are you capable enough to take the decision and not be so selfish that you enjoy life but you also have some responsibilities back in India so I was lucky enough that my wife and I were in the same page so we said okay that's a good thing like we were that that if you think about all the daes in outside 99.9% have the same feeling that yes we also want to support our family we also want to go there but how why would I go because my kids are settled here now they will face problem and we were at a good point in our life because my daughter is six years old so I thought

6:52 It's now or never let's not do let's take the decision now so that she doesn't have problem in the future future and she had just well to India and she luckily we got her admitted to a same grade here in India and she's enjoying her life it's us that that we are feeling that we feel some challenges but I think we already have thought about this that there will be challenges in India we just have to tackle them day by day so yeah my 12E Journey was good and I'm looking forward for a stay in India also like the same now thanks anush for such a you know detailed overview sounds like I think you had a blast you know it's it's having that close knit group right the 12 members that helps a lot you know just like as a family friends able to spend 12 years with this 12 group is immense right I mean you know

7:54 Because it's almost like you moved the close friends and family from India and then you just relocated and you can also have other Pros that you can you know enjoy like diversity the work culture other aspect so but I think the key important thing is like the decision that you made you know when your kid is still like young that you just want to make the decision I think that's a feeling that a lot of people have but it's only few people who make a decision I mean which is fine the decision to come move back or decision to stay is completely fine but not let the life go by and before you realize it might be too late to make the decision that's the only thing I'm I'm going to stress so there is no right or wrong everybody has grown reasons for a right decision but making a decision is more important than let the life go by I think that's a critical absolutely yeah so I'm sure I think you know especially when you have such a close friends group in us when you move

8:54 Back to here it's almost like you might have to rebuild or you might have to find that social group and you have to to build it I think it might be a little bit more time taking for you and your wife to get used to the Social Circle and you know building that here back in India yeah there's always that fear that will I get my same will I be able to create that group again because everybody is doing well in their life and even I have realized here in Bangalore like it's been two months now for me to we are still settling down there are a lot of house course that we need to do from electrician to Plumbing but getting a group I guess is little difficult but not that difficult luckily me and my wife are both social so right now we are trying our best to be very involved within our family Circle and also starting involving in all the society events and all so we are kind of

9:56 Positive in terms of yes we will make our own Circle it will take time but slowly we will be able to do that so yeah yeah for sure so let's talk a

10:07 Little bit about you know your planning so in terms of the decision was that something that you have been thinking for some time how did you approach it or was there in trigger point that made you yes this is when we are moving if there's anything that you can share that could be helpful because people lot of people will be in this kind of mindset is there something that triggered you or like how you approached it so that could be help right so I we started thinking actually like every every time we have this in mind that we will go to India if something happen something happen What El says let's say our parents need immediate help so will that be a good move if I take the decision later in my life but I thought it's a very passive decision and when it comes to clear thinking that what you want to do it that was the trigger point which we said that if you want to go to India

11:08 Then the sooner is better so planning a friend like if you are having a family it's a good time when your kid is five or six year old because they will be able to adjust and you will be also in a better position because once you get that I would say salary But A Good Financial cushion it it's easy for you to make decisions in India so the the other Factor planning wise was how are we moving our jobs back to India so we both our companies me and my wife are Global and we thought initially that even if worst case scenario even one of the one of us is working and the other is not it still be okay to find a job rest a bit take a step back like grow your skills and then move to something so that was a factor and the cushion that like living in the US

12:10 For last 12 years gives us that Financial cushion to make that decision so we started communicating to our employers and everybody was like very good and supportive on this decision normally like you like you they have to spend like 1/4 of their expens if you're going back to India and though luckily both of us have offices in India so we started talking to them and fixed a date that hey this is the date we want to the other factor that was very crucial in decision making was which school or which grade our daughter will going to get get admitted I wanted to delay it till June so that we get to start a new calendar year school year but then my brother-in-law suggested that it's better to come immediately so that the my daughter have get that transition for six months and then she starts with a full flow for the next year so getting a good school in mid

13:10 Year was our priority and so we started taking this decision to our Employers in around March time frame this year they confirmed everything that yes we can do this move around mid of October October end and then by a April and May we started looking for schools and we found a good school which told us that yes you can onl enroll right now get to an online classes and then once you are in India we just move it from YouTube from online to in person so once that's agreed upon in July we we admitted our daughter in the online schooling so that gave us a good level of assurity that yes she won't Mesa School and everything should be good for this year the next thing was U what we want to do with the dates because everything was revolved around our employees decision when we want to move

14:11 It luckily my wife's employer was flexible enough that he said either ways you can move in October so my I had some issues with my employer deciding what exact date I want to move but with that confident that my wife employer has given goahead we just set a date that yes this is the date we want to move back to India so once we set aside a date which was October 28th this was like three months ago things were like we were just backtracking and starting to see how things will look like whether should I take the house here should I buy it rent it what should be a good area what will be my work location all those things started to fall in place because we had a set date and from traveling logistic perspective selling the items in the

15:12 House what should we take that it made life easier for us in terms of okay what to do what to not do so we had this handful of plan then our my brother-in-law was supporting me from looking for an apartment here so once we landed in India things were smoother for us we did some renovation in our house stayed in my hometown for two months so that our house is ready and then December 9 is the when we did our house Puja here in Bangalore and then we shifted so yes planning wise and good thing is both of us really want to see like anticipate the future issues and then talk about it and sort out a primary and a backup plan like what we want to do in this case or that case and that's how everything fell in place and as of today we are living like very normal bits and pieces issues are here but still that's still

16:14 Okay yeah thanks a lot for the detailed you know planning there so both you and your wife were able to do like an internal transfer which was great this is always a common question you know in terms of the career in terms of the you know transition how do you plan I think sounds like I think you have the flexibility which is very always easy and helpful in the transition I think

16:38 The other thing that you kind of touched about was you know kind of living in Bangalore so just curious like are your parents also in Bangalore or you know is your hometown close by or how did you select the place is it because of the job or is it like you know proximity to some family so that's one question I I just want want to explore a little bit more yeah yeah that's a very good question and so I was in a dilemma when I started taking decision my hometowns in jabalpur madha Pradesh and my parents are in in they they live a lifestyle where they won't be able to relocate to Bangalore because they started their everything in jabalpur and they are like used to this life that my father has to go to the office he wants to sit there even if there are no clients and then come back so there's no retirement age for him like he's an income tax consultant so they they were pretty sure that even if they come to Bangalore they will be coming for a like a week or two week and then go back to

17:40 Jabalpur and my wife's parents are here in jabalpur that was the plus point so I said okay at least one of us have their parents so we can live closer to them and when I spoke to my parents about this move who are in back in jabalpur even if we are not near to them it has like in their mind they have a very strong feeling that our son is here and not in us so even like anything happens or if I am in need we can call them or they can be coming like in a day or two so that was again and what I realized was taking this decision is the lot of things happen with a parents that they don't tell you because you are in US and they they can be very minor but can be bigger at times like for example they met with a small accident but they won't tell you so those are the things that really pinched us back in us that they

18:42 Won don't want to bother you on this they think that they are very slight things can be big for us as kids so I think that comfort zone has come so now any little thing that happens or they need something very basic thing they can can call us anytime in their daytime and say hey this is not working that's not so it's also easy and then not I wouldn't say managing our parents house but you are start involving more closely with them now now they they're not used to a Trel like we are been out for 15 years they are living there so now we're trying to go back in their Zone and trying to add or give some value at why we are here things like very especially with the health thing right we can do whatever we want from the US but then it doesn't have that Personal Touch I here I can follow up with them go to them ask

19:43 My friends or my family doctors and that makes the relation closer so yes Bangalore was a preference because both of our job my job location was like I was was getting Bangalore then my in-laws are here so those are the two things that I decided though Bangalore jabalpur travel is very hectic because we don't have a direct flight I thought still it's manageable I can manage so that was the choice of decision why I chose Bangalore yeah for sure I I think this is another point I just want to maybe at least stress out from my perspective even though you're not living in the same town even if you are like 4 hours or 6 hours far away like a driveway but still the frequency of meeting them is much much higher because of you know there would be some events family functions or there could be other reasons so you would see them at least like once a quarter or something like that you know for different reasons and then having spending the time it just opens up you

20:45 Know to your point like discussing these minor things it just opens up I think the proximity plays a role it doesn't have to be exactly the same town I mean especially because you know parents prefer their lifestyle they want to live in in a certain way but you know it it might not work out from a career perspective or from a you know from different factors but it's still like doesn't have to be a same town but it you still make a big difference in just being 4 hours driveway or 6 hours driveway just because you meet them so many times in any year yeah yeah cool

21:20 So how is your daughter adjusting in school so just curious yeah so earlier during her online classes from us we were not able to attend like exact classes all she was doing was homework because of the time zone difference but when she landed here we did find a school which is not very academic Focus and at least give some space to her to adjust so we took her to orade International which she's finding very good and we thought let's gave her some time adjust to the education system and the only thing that's blocking her or making her life not that easy is going through Canada so U I think we missed one year where they were practicing Canada letters and right now they are on the site words so even we feel challenging

22:21 Because we haven't gone through the language so that's the only place where she's struggling and we are also struggling like we are trying to see should we take her to some classes or she should be able to adjust little later otherwise since we have a family here she has cousins of the same age lot slightly differ and in a society as I was going like it's almost like us so and it's more independent here in us people are more cautious like I have to go with her if she's like five here everybody is like there's a nor if the security guard is here you can move to a different go to different apartment go to a different building so that has its own benefits so she's learning to be more independent with this transition apart from that I would say health is one main thing that I've noticed so you tend to get lot more sicker when you come to India and

23:23 Especially so what I felt as something that worked for us was as soon as she's showing some symptoms or signs I start giving her probiotics and I still continue her vitamins at least it make sure that the gut is her gut is healthy and she's maintaining the daily routine that we have in the US so that way U yes she is falling sick at times but we cannot do it because and and this was something that we have talked about previously coming to India that the one or two years will be challenging for all three of us it might be more challenging for my daughter but we have to get past this till her immunity becomes very strong so I think these are the only two things that we have to worry about a little apart from that socially from study wise she has adjusted well no thanks a lot so just

24:25 Curious is she in an IB curriculum cbsc just cbsc C so again our thought was if we are going to India with all pre-planned activity we want her to take the same education that we took and CBS is very good in terms of we didn't want IB board for her because I want we want to see her life of a middle class family like how things have been done we should not be lavish enough to like and there's no no point in IB what we thought was because cbsc is itself is a holistic curriculum where you have activate you are you have a good academic you also have exposure to sports so we thought it's better to have her in cbsc so that she gets the best of the things that and it's both of us were cbsc out so we thought it's it's it's good curriculum and we have seen

25:26 The changes while talking to our in-laws while talking to our friends here that yes putting in IB board will be I would say not L easier for her but it won't give her the same exposure that we want her to get in India we want her to learn about competition we want her to learn about these small small things even I would say I won't say I will promote bullying but at some level to make the child resilient you have you should have the these things at a very small or a very simple Pace but yes these things that you get in a good cbsc school will make the child resilient and ready for the future so that was the thought okay that's great yeah thanks for sharing

26:16 That I know you kind of touched about this work culture so just curious so what was your planning or the thought process I think you know that was one of the pro that you mentioned I think you want to spend time with you know the family with the kid which is a pro you know the work life balance was great in us so how has it been or how are you thinking about you know planning for that with the moo has things changed in the last 12 years like you know the work life what it was before so any other insights that you can give in terms of the work life balance here in India a decade before a decade now and also like how you are thinking about managing that yeah right so both of us have us-based clients as of now and we are passing the ball one to another at this point because what I do is I I go to the regular five hours of Office come back and then attend important meetings in the evening and my

27:16 Wife takes time in the morning till afternoon and then she starts and her call goes on until 10 or 11:00 so we kind of Shuffle right now passing the ball that I manage few things in the evening and she manages in the morning in the afternoon time the other good thing is in us you you have to do everything by on own so you spend time in Daily course here we get the heal domestic heal so all those things are being taken care by the the workers here so we can spend that time with the kid now what I my thought point was we'll have to make the expectation in terms of with our customers that we are working in a in a in a branch in within India which is 9 to5 so we cannot SLO more hours that was one thing so not right

28:17 Now but slowly we will try to adapt and change our working hours in such a way and I think spending and since we have already work in a 9 to5 or 9 to6 scenario it's always like utilizing your vacations going out with a family to a trip or a tracking is like it's now ingrained in our what I say schedule even with the daughter so we try to continue that so that we at least get some free time think about the other stuff in the Life apart from work so that is quite good okay yeah that's great yeah thanks for sharing the thoughts there and you know how you're planning to manage that because at the end of the day you won't get the same lifestyle but you can make changes or subtle changes where you can do well so that's that's a good

29:19 Thought and I think it's a positive thinking that brings those thoughts again sure are there any topics on

29:27 That we haven't covered that you want to bring up I mean especially for somebody who is thinking about you know relocating or planning to move you know from your perspective that we haven't discussed yet you know from your journey the one thing that I wanted to stress or highlight is we always think that like once you are in our comfort zone you always think that maybe that would not be best for me or for my family and we at at a certain age I think mid-30s you go into that zone and say yeah probably that will not be right for me so I would say taking risk and taking calculated risk should be considered at least families should at least talk about that openly and see if you have something in mind you w won't want to regret in the future you

30:29 Should take the decision even if it fails you should at least because there's so failures you learn from your failures a lot so not taking a decision as you said is not good you should do it and then if you don't like it feel like yes it's not not cup not my cup of tea course but taking that risk in life is important that's all I wanted to say oh yeah definitely I think you know it kind of varies from personality to personality but I think it's important to take a decision whatever that risk level you have I mean you can plan it but there is also like certain constraints that you need to consider whether the kids age quality time spend with the family your career you know how it's progressing you know depending on the priorities you just factor and see what's important for you stage in the life and at least have that conversation with your friends or with your other better half so that you get that

31:31 Insight definitely yeah any other

31:36 Advice or anything that you would share for people who are considering or thinking about this move or yeah I would say give time for your decision so that you start learning about things for example once you think about it you start prioritizing that hey these are the five items on my list and then start looking how people are doing or managing there right like as of now if lot of people saying Bangalore you get the same kind of salary here you you get everything in at your finger trip trips so all these fact you just keep listening actively listen and see what if it fits for me so again talking about that planning is what I would say don't take like I don't think people take a rash decision of moving to India but sometimes they do and time your I

32:38 Mean in the stock market we say don't time the market but I would say when you want to move you should time your move like think about it when you want to move is like is it 5 years once you settle there your family make sure that you think that okay five years is the max that I can go like my daughter is 5 years old then I should start thinking about it so if yeah planning is everything I would say here in this case no yeah I think you brought up a very good point I think the one key thing that I might wanted to add there I think which you might have mentioned was take latest upto-date information right I think the when you mentioned right now whether it's salaries whether it's the opportunities I just don't want people to think what India was like maybe a 10 years back or 5 years back just I know being close to you know what's happening talking to friends talking to the people take the actual reality into consideration in your planning because some people might be

33:40 Still thinking of maybe the opportunities the culture it could be different that's the only thing that I would add on just have the latest information so that that could help in your decision process right and while you were talking about this one thing that I want to tell and I didn't point out in my previous conversation is we also thought about what you want to do with our life for the next 30 or 40 years I mean are am I going to retire in us or somewhere or I would want to go back to India or I would like to do something else so when I say to people that I'm talking about retirement they say no you're very early in your age why do you why why would you want to do that it's still 30 years down the line but I say no because what nobody like if you are in a corporate culture you won't be sitting at home at 62 and doing nothing there

34:41 Has to be you need to do some ACT you just keep going on you find different stuff so our thought was let's think about how you want to do how you want to retire and what else would you like to do apart from your corporate day-to-day job and where we both resonant was we want to give back to the society do something like it can be anything because at I think after 10 15 years money won't be an issue for us and that that that would help actually help us to do something that we would really like to and even fail on that and do something else like it can be a very small not even startup but very basic thing like okay you like cooking you can have your own Cafe see if it works doesn't work move on but try to plan your retirement also so that and the factor was if we still continue living

35:41 In us we will be the first I will say first stage is immigrant parents so we won't be able to enjoy we will always be in a discovery phase like once we go once my daughter goes to college we will be still discovering okay there are new things that thing then everything will be firsthand to us and we I we thought that we won't be able to enjoy that so we said why not go back to India see for yourself plan everything for the next 10 15 years and you also enjoy retirement because again at the end of the day we are sufficient enough to we are sufficient and earning very well and pl our F our kids future is very bright that's what I see in terms of we even with the thought that yes do whatever you want to you want to stay back do something else you can do it because we didn't have that luxury in our life we

36:44 Were like firstand we wanted to do a job and then continue but they have a different mindset they will definitely enjoy their life even if they don't have money they will enjoy because that's the mindset and the attitude they're getting in from school and other places so we also thought that why not we also do the same for our rest of the life enjoy do what you want to and don't think about U money and these goals we won't be able to accomplish in us so that was again a very important point for us to move back to India no thanks for sharing that I think as you said life is all about experiences right I mean you know you don't want to regret because you couldn't try or able to do you know and the other point that I also want to mention from what I heard was even though retirement could be like 30 years down the road but it's an important decision to make right now to be on that path if if you haven't made the decision now You' be on a different path because otherwise then it will be not a

37:44 Good move from a kids's perspective not justifiable you know from that even though you want to do so even though it might be like 30 years down the road there are certain decisions that you're making right now that can lead to a different path so I mean you know sometimes you know you mentioned about planning but it's sometimes thinking ahead so that you are trying to choose which road you want to take but at the end of the day it's life is all about experiences I think you know wherever you stay it's trying different things and you know enjoying the Life along the way cool so thank you very much anush for sharing all your thoughts I'm just being cognizant about the time so I know there's a lot of valuable information and I'm sure there could be even further information that we can get but just wanted to you know thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and taking the time and good luck with everything in your life and Take Care thank you thank you very much

38:48 Yeah thank you all for joining us on this insightful journey of Dy return if you enjoyed this episode and want to explore more stories and expert advice make sure to subscribe and hit the notification Bell don't forget to leave a comment below with your thoughts and experiences by the way check out the links in the description below for our Facebook group and social media for updates and engaging discussions as well as connecting with fellow Desa wrers thank you once again and until next time may your Desa written journey be filled with joy growth and endless possibilities