Watch: Spouse Not On Board: My Solo Return to India & His Unexpected Change of Mind

3:33 Culture here a little bit like I noticed how you know you put so much I mean parents would send their kids to a really good school and then you study hard even kids I compared to the education system that I have observed around the world I feel like our education system is actually really great a lot of people are not fond of it especially in terms of because they feel it's very there's a lot of pressure and but I feel that's what kind of shape your kids a lot because that's why you don't see emotional breakr back emotional breakdown of kids in especially in Indian Goods right so that's after investing so much into education and everything and when I stepped out and I kind of started my journey and I did a very first I accepted the very first offer and I started working I saw the the work culture I see how toxic it was at that time at least at that time I would say it has got much better now but

4:35 Back in those days the the picture was very different at the same time coming with my background I come from a very Orthodox minded family so they did not really I did not have that and I'm not talking about mostly my my immediate family but you know the extended family members they always when it comes to girls education or a a girl choosing to work and be independent they they are never fond of that idea so I kind of wanted to push the envelope yeah and I wanted to step out and and just experience learn things learn how to learn the art of living in general and so that I can be at that point and not be dependent emotionally mentally physically financially so I decided to kind of step out so the first time this idea kind of occurred when I was almost in a process of finishing my graduation I was studying L English literature at the time and then I went to my parents and I approached them with the idea of like okay you know what after I complete my degree I want to move to my first

5:38 Choice was Australia so I'm like I want to move to Australia and to the reaction at a time was like I'm I'm on some kind of a fancy flight they were like okay I mean are you have you considered any of the factor that you know the financial everything and at the time I did not really think of anything I just the only goal that that I had was like okay I want to go out there I want to make it big for myself whatever that I didn't have I want to kind of achieve that in my life obviously with a lot of hustles and lot of fs and buts we finally managed to kind of you know make it happen I gave my eyelets and then they were not even they couldn't believe when I cleared my eyelets as I say like I couldn't UT a word of English back then so my parents were really surprised they let me go ahead with the process like okay yeah go and start your tu and start preparing for eyelids and they were like okay we'll see we'll see let her let let clear the eyelids right and it happened so they were they were really surprised and they were like

6:38 Okay now we are obligated to do something for her but I I kind of promised my father at the time that you just help me with the first semester but I promise you that I'll take take care of the rest so with after juggling with so many things it kind of happened and then the day comes it was I think it was 3rd May 2013 when I took my flight to Canada at that time I mean when I was leaving when I was at the airport and I was you know hugging my my friends and my parents and everything I did not have somewhere the idea did not hit me at that point that I I have no idea when I'm going to see them next it did not I was so excited about just taking a fly yeah going in and then just proving everyone wrong that no I can do this right and and yeah so I took my flight and it was I guess it was early in the morning back in that time they used to have a very late flight so I landed in Mumbai now in Mumbai you're still

7:39 Surrounded by your own people like you you have your you know everybody is there you still in India so till then I did not really realize it and then I took a I took my flight and I had a stop in London yeah so I took a flight and then I fell asleep probably in the next 30 minutes after boarding the flight and I was literally like a like I I I don't know I was very n at that time right like I was 22 or something and you don't know much and I never stepped out of Gujarat so I had no idea what I'm stepping into so I fell asleep and the moment I woke up I I looked outside the window and I was the middle of nowhere so at that time it kind of hit me and I was like oh my goodness I have zero idea where I'm going to when I'm going to see my family and my my friends and everything right so anyway there was I started crying and lot of drama happens and I there was a there was this gentleman next to me he kind of comforted me he like don't worry I have

8:39 Seen a lot of students going there and you'll be fine it a long story short and landed in Canada I had a friend who came to receive me at the airport of the time and that's kind of how my journey started I just wanted to correct this I did not go for my master I went for Hospitality management got it yes so that's where so that's where my journey kind of started in Hospitality management I studied Hospitality management from sentinel college Toronto

9:07 So I was there for about four years from 2013 to 2016 so yeah so if I talk about why I decided to move there it was always just like any nextd door girl's dream to go out there break the tradition prove people wrong show them the potential so yeah it was a very very filmy and cliche story but it that's actually my story about why I left India and moved to Canada no thank you very much for sharing such a detail you know the picture of like what you went through what what was going on in your mind and what you want to prove to the society right to and and also what you want to achieve so I know you kind of mentioned about it but just want to confirm so were you in Hospitality work before deciding to move to like you know you said you work in India for some time right just curious on on that and why Hospitality and then you also mentioned about Australia and then what made you to decide to Canada so if you can just quickly touch on those two or three

10:07 Things I just want to cover it yeah absolutely so I did not have any experience like I was not actively part of the hospital industry but when I was pursuing my my degree in English literature I was also pursuing diploma and event management at the time just as the plan B I'm a very I'm a social butterfly so I wanted to kind of have that option too because I'm like if I don't like that boring justy you know becoming some Professor or teacher or work 9 to5 I want to have that option where I can just you know go out there and do things so I was so I completed my diploma and event management at the time and when I was working we used to do freelancing as well we used to do volunteer work in a different weddings and everything that's where I kind of got exposed to hotels I got an opportunity to visit hotels and at back in that time in amdavad there were hardly any good hotels there were probably two or three I can really count on my fingers but when I entered

11:09 The property right it kind of fascinated me so much I love the idea that just under the one building there's so many different departments so you can if you are not good at this you can do this if you're not good at that you can do this you can work in a kitchen you can work in a front Des you can be a a Bellman like there are so many options there so that's what I kind of fascinated decided to pursue of study management yeah my first approach was obviously to study that in India but I guess back in that I don't know what are the the cost right now but it was a very fancy price that you had to pay back in that time and I guess it was for a one year was around five and a half lakh okay so when I kind of started doing more research and everything and during that time as I mentioned earlier like everyone was jumping on a band wagon of moving to different countries because at that time the definition of success was only if you leave India and if you settle abroad you study abroad or if you work in abroad that's how you get

12:09 Successful right so some of my friends around me they moved to Australia they moved to Canada they moved to us right so that's how I came across one of my friend who was in Australia at that time got it and I just happen to discuss this idea with him like okay I'm thinking of pursuing Hospital management but I don't think Dad would agree because very costly so I don't know and then I also did the research at the time that if I invest this much money let's see somehow I managed to make it and then if I invest that much and after I complete that course what kind of pay scale hotels offer and you pay around 10 lakhs for your education but the the the pay scale that you're getting is In thousands and thousands I'm talking about 10,000 15,000 20,000 a month that this did not make sense to me it did not sit well with me right so I happened to just discuss to this with my friend who was in Australian and he's like why don't you consider moving to abroad because the amount of money that you're planning to invest you can just pay that in

13:10 School here you can get International experience and education and when you gain the international experience and if you happen to go back to India you will have a good job and with that International experience they will probably you know amp up your pay as well right so it kind of made sense to me and that's that's how I kind of decided to go to Australia but when I was in a process of doing my research and considering all the you know ifs and birds at that time I kind of the racism was a big issue in Australia back in that time I mean I don't know how much true it was at that point but you know from all here say you whatever you hear you kind of believe because you were sitting in at that time there were no video call system so and social media was not that advanced that you kind of get to know everything from YouTube or Instagram right so and whatever he said I kind of believed him because obviously he was a very good friend of mine and he's like you know what AA does have that issue second they were also not providing a permanent residency sure

14:13 Yeah so that was the system I'm not sure if Australia has changed their policy now but so I personally never had an intention to settle down regardless wherever I choose to move because I'll be honest with you I have I always had this special special Corner in my heart for India like India is my country I'm very proud of it and I don't see India even back then I did not see India as a Bad Country yes some of the people are definitely they need to reflect on themselves and they kind of have to improve but I always wanted to come back so my plan was always move abroad gain good experience gain good education probably reach to the manager level so when I come back I don't have to struggle as much yeah so that was the whole whole idea behind it so when this this kind of hiccup was mentioned from my friend I'm like okay so I'm not too sure about that because even with the fact that I don't want to settle there but I also want to have the elbow

15:14 Of having the P yeah if because just in case let's see if I want to steal a little bit extra and you know make more money so that I can probably book a apartment here or have my vehicle which is paid so I can leave that you know deth free life so was the idea and I'm like if I I can't do that there is no point of me going there investing so much money because similar thing I can just do here yeah so When I Was preparing is the teacher my teacher was also in a process of moving to Canada oh so she is like okay Misha why don't you consider Canada US was completely out of my budget so that was like okay there is no way I'm considering that London was pretty much similar story because pound was always way bigger than rupees right so Canada kind of made a lot of sense at the time I had another friend who I was not super close to but was in Canada at the time so at least I know that I have somebody that I can count on or trust on right so that's how the idea kind of switched to move to Canada so Canada was never my first

16:15 Choice not because I had any like you know I did any research and I was I didn't like anything about it it was just not in my list I did not consider it as much because Canada kind of started becoming the center of attention recent in the last 5 10 years before Canada was not considered as much especially in Gujarati Community I would say yeah no makes sense so thanks for providing some insights on that so how was the life in Canada I know you initially plann to be there till like you know like reaching like manager level or certain level and then come back but when you look back you spend 13 years you know more than a decade it's a long time so how was the life in Canada and what triggered or what made you think about moving back to India just

17:00 Curious oh it's a very fascinating Journey so I'll say so when I move when I landed in Canada and my journey kind of started so first of all I was the moment I landed I was monkey Uncle I did not expect this much of cultural shock I did not expect the way the lifestyle was there as I said I went as a student and if there is any student out they're watching me right now they would definitely agree with me that student life is definitely way more difficult in in any country you choose to because you you're starting from scratch you're starting from zero right so at that time I was very I was constantly disbled you know I was not really sure if I made a right decision of moving here or what should I do but then what helped me a lot was seeing all the students around me like they were all hustling you know they were all part of his hustle culture

18:01 That students has created not like in a bad way but in a good way because everyone you see somebody and that they are working two three jobs they're working four jobs some people are like they would be working night shift and they'll just show up in a college next day so all that kind of motiv continued motivating me to kind of stick to my plan right so overall if I talk about my life so I kind of juggled a lot in in terms of CI so I lived in Toronto for for about 4 years I lived in Vancouver for about 2 years and then from probably 2019 to 2024 till now I was in Ottawa right with my husband yeah so in Toronto life kind of started with a lot of excitement you know the constant like waking up early 6:00 in the morning regardless what time you went to bed you take a bus you make your own tea you make your own breakfast sometimes you just keep all of it because you have either you you can you have to choose whether I take extra 30 minutes sleep or I wake up early and drink my coffee so you had to choose

19:02 Sometimes so life was definitely with full of struggle as a student but that's what I think I would say shaped me yeah as a person it kind of taught me and educated me in terms of how the life should be I started respecting my parents a lot after doing all that by myself that you know sometimes we get we take them for granted we don't realize the efforts they put after us in terms of whether they are if your mom is house housewife she's constantly you know making sure that you are wellfed and if you have exam she'll be preparing extra stuff for you your dad who would go out there and then you know earn money for you and work hard for you so they can he can provide you for everything right so that's what I kind of started learning there so he that probably I guess around two years I was I completed my Hospitality management and hustling at the same time working two three jobs because as I said I told my my dad that just help me with my first semester fees and I will take care of the rest so I

20:02 Had to stick on that I have to because I mean even if I couldn't I had no choice there was parents were not in a financially that shape that they can send me money in in any position so I was working two three jobs and also doing also studying at the same time and then I completed my Hospitality management with with good grades and everything with God grace I got hired in a very well-known property of Hilton in downtown Toronto where I was complete I was doing my internship I was doing a co-op so I got hired as a part-time associate there and that's how my that's how my journey kind of started so when I was kind of finding my fit there in in Canada around the same time I was approached by my parents that they have you know they there is this rishta that has come across the the guy is also in Canada and he's also looking for somebody who's settled there or who's planning to stay there right I was

21:03 Very open to that I'm like yeah sure I don't mind meeting the person and my husband back then my fiance he was in Vancouver and I was in Toronto so we kind of got introduced by our parents and we when we met it felt like yes it's a right call to make so we got engaged and at that time I told him this like okay so I'm not sure what is your plan in terms because he was in a process of getting his permanent rest at the time so I'm like I don't know what's your plan but I want to go back to India but he was always adamant about the fact that he is never stepping back in India he's there is no way he's ever coming back to India because when he left India he kind of got very frustrated with everything here so he was like done done with India and that's why he that's why he moved to Canada so he was like us that's I hope that's not a deal breaker because I'm not planning to move back to India like ever again so even though I always wanted to move back and my heart was always in India I decided to make

22:06 That sacrifice just because I met a good person and I didn't just because I wanted to move back to India I didn't want to let that person go from my life so we got married and thanks to him I finished like 13 years in Canada so so yeah around like 2017 I would say I I and it's a it's a it's a factor that kind of changed a lot of things for me in life I was on my way to work at like 545 in the morning and I got attacked by a homeless person downtown yeah he tried to rob me and downtown I now it's a different story we back in that like 5:45 in the morning it's a very quiet area you don't see people there right and that kind of was like enough for my husband he was like you know what you are not not staying in Toronto because at that time we were like kind of deciding whether sure I should move to Vancouver or he should come to Toronto and him having a really stable job and I was still like

23:07 You know as I said I was still trying to find my FIT there so we decided to we were like thinking what should we do I love Toronto so much at the time that I didn't want to really leave but then when this happened he's like no nothing doing you're moving to Vancouver with me and we'll we'll see so I moved with him in Vancouver we I guess we stay we stayed there for about two years and as I said he never wanted to leave Vancouver as well because he had a good job and everything but in 2017 we came to India to get married and our plan was that we'll get married we'll go back and we'll start looking into buying a property for ourselves you know more on you know settling down zone so when we stepped into the market wenu was out of the leag now me being in a Hospitality management I was always my work was always in downtown and and in Canada forget about right now even back then there is no way you can afford to stay close to downtown there is no way I mean you can definitely buy

24:07 Something but then the amount of money you're investing you are getting a very small house or small condominium for that price and my husband like kind of like to stay away from downtown because the culture you know the life is very very different like it's in the same country same city but the life in downtown and the life in a in a Suba is like completely picture exactly and so so when we started doing a research and started checking out the homes and everything it was just out of the budget so we were just deciding what to do so he came across his friend who was settled in Ottawa at the time most of his friends that he met during Masters were all in Ottawa and when he was when he reached out to them and kind of discuss all this he's like why don't you come and move to otwa otwa is progressing now and the amount of money that you'll probably invest in buying a probably a townhouse or condominium in Vancouver you will be able to probably afford a huge Bungalow here in Ottawa for the same price and it kind of made sense for both of us and as I said me being in a hospital industry I never had to stress about the

25:09 Job yes regardless which corner of the world you throw me into I will have a job so I was never worried about it so we kind of like okay let's pack our bag and let's just make this move so we moved to AWA back in 2018 like mid 2018 I would say and yeah so that's when we we probably we went there we rented a house for some time and then we we started looking into buying a home we booked our house we got The Possession right right before Co so we kind of got lucky there because it the picture kind of changed a lot after Co lot of delays in terms of possessions a lot of people had to wait for us way longer than they were anticipating right so we got lucky we got our I guess it was I would say November 2019 if I'm not wrong that's when we got the possession of our house and within a within like two three months of settling down the

26:09 Covid H yeah so there it goes so now comes the covid I was laid off from my work because hospitality industry was the first one to get affected all around the world right so I was laid off first from my work and to be honest I kind of enjoyed it I initially at least for three four months I loved it because since I stepped into Canada I don't think I ever had a single day off I used to work like seven days a week because Hospital industry is demanding everywhere 13 14 hours of work so I never had and me being in a hospital industry and my husband being in it we never even shared a day off together so having that quality time out of nowhere and that's to like government is just giving you that you know every month used to to get like around 2 and a half thousand to from the our tax money obviously all the tax that we paid but yeah so getting all that I was really enjoying that but after certain point

27:13 It kind of started bothering us so much because you know I I like to step out and everything and Canada has the longest and the lengthiest lockdown world has ever seen because they were just not ready to kind of open and everything my husband being in it they always had work from home option so he was still working and everything so routine was fine however it was Co where it kind of dawn on us like life kind of started feeling empty at the time we during this time however I did jump into a lot of jobs and everything so that part I will probably mention later if required to but there was the time when I kind of you know we started feeling empty there was a sense of the sense of belonging was missing people kind of the friends we had a huge friend group and they were all like kind of used to live close to each other in the same area so having those weekends Gathering was very normal for us but then as people started buying their own houses people started moving to

28:13 Different areas so the Gathering kind of stopped and covid changed a lot covid changed a lot of things people kind of somehow especially the introverts they found a way like okay yeah we don't really have to go and see people if we if we don't want to we can just stay in the house right so so having that having that kind of a culture building up in Canada kind of started bothering us slowly steadly however my husband was still not in a zone of ever moving back to India but one thing that I would like to mention here is when we were in Ottawa now I worked in Toronto for four years in the same company I worked in Vancouver for two years in the same company and Toronto and wois P then were very very welcoming in terms of immigration the culture but the culture yes however Ottawa was not I always experienced silent racism there especially at workplace in my industry I cannot say for everyone

29:14 Because obviously people will start bashing me on that like oh we never had that experience and I agree 100% there is there's a high possibility my experience will not be the same for everyone I on the other hand that experience like multiple time and it kind of forced me to be a rolling stone in within Ottawa so in the four or five years of stay me staying in Ottawa I had to change probably multiple companies which I don't prefer but wherever I go I kind of had experience that from somebody from somewhere the person in power and it kind of bothers you at some point initially you would just you know Dodge the bullet and you kind of like pivot your way to you know think and focus on your stuff but it start bothering you slowly like okay is it what is it like is it me because how am I wherever I'm going I am the one who's getting affected and especially in hotel industry at that time in Toronto and in Vancouver you will see hotels are filled with immigrants whether they're from Philippines they're from India they're

30:16 From Pakistan everywhere however Ottawa was very different I was the first Indian in any property that I kind of worked in Ottawa back in that time I was the only Indian I would say so I guess the I mean and I would I wouldn't say they were it was more intentionally it's just that when we see something different than us we kind of have that approach towards them or towards the situation right so probably it came from there however that kind of started bothering me initially I used to stick it to it I would like okay I would not let this bother me but then it started kind of bothering me so life kind of started getting lonely after covid and at the same time the place that you spend most of your day like you're spending 13 14 15 hours and you feel that you exactly and you feel that you don't even belong there so you kind of start questioning your existence at some point like okay do I really don't fit am I the sore thumb here

31:18 That's sticking out so that's where kind of I started getting the idea that I wanted to go back however I always knew that my husband would never ever ever consider it but somehow he so he saw that that I was very troubled by all this thing getting constantly you know feeling left out at work and not be included or not getting invited my colleagues or everything like you're spending so much time with the person at work and the person is getting married and you don't even get invited to the DS and I'm not saying that I want to I want them to invite me or anything but when I invite them I would not like they wouldn't come because people are very people have a very W like a strong wall in front of them especially in Ottawa that's what I observed so sometimes I went like above and beyond and you know decide to throw gathering at my place and I would invite them and my my invite will get cancelled right on my facei like they will decline it and I us to wonder like okay what is that I'm

32:18 Not doing right right so my husband kind of started observing it so he kind of agreed to leave Canada at that time so he was not still on the idea of like okay not moving India is not in the list if you let's leave Canada because now the winter has started bothering us out of nowhere like we lived in the same weather for so many years yeah it did not bother us before but now after covid when the life changed the people Chang the economy changed right that's when everything kind of started bothering us the things that did not even matter to us before everything kind of started you know floating in our head like okay now this is this is too much grow cross is too expensive you know when you just looking for a reason you find everything problematic around you so that's what happened and he's like okay let's consider in terms of leaving Canada so the first option we decided was always every anybody who's in the US and trying to leave us they consider Canada anyone who's living in Canada they consider us so we started

33:18 Reflecting on that first yeah so this were the factors and as I said the economy and everything kind of also started and it's very evident now no one can deny the fact that Canada is not expensive can Canada is definitely expensive the taxes are very high the quality of life has kind of gone down because people people before people used to go because it was different than India you used to go there because you are what you earning you able to afford everything within your budget right and your your pay is higher than what you're spending but now it's the tables have done completely so me and my husband we both being very successful in our job and having a good you know handsome pay we were still struggling to save so it's it there has to be something wrong with the system there has to be something wrong in the economy or the way government is planning things right so this is how kind of the this is overall all the factors kind of pushed us to move back or at least leave Canada

34:20 At that point got it no thanks for sharing such a detail so sounds like I think your husband was empathetic of what you going through which helped him to you know re re-evaluate his decision so what happened then like I think you are open to leave Canada and how did you finally end up in India okay

34:44 So funny story there too so now here we are kind of you know considering what to do what should be our next step in terms of like okay yeah we want to leave Canada but whever we go we will be kind of starting from the scratch so I never wanted to push my husband I did not even want to be the person to put that idea into his head of like moving to India because I mean if he doesn't find the happiness here I don't want to because I I experienced that for myself where I was not happy in Canada and I was not happy with the work culture so I was like how terrible and awful I used to feel there so I didn't want my husband to come to India and go through the same thing because I know how it feels so he's like you know what how about we start doing the detail research in terms of where can be our next home he he kind of kept the India in the list I'm like okay I'm not going to push you for it I would fly

35:44 In a in a you know in a zippy but I'm I will not be the one who will like you know tomorrow I don't want you to tell me okay it's you because that's why we are here in India so first he considered us so which kind of started considering taxes because Texas was at the same at that time still like in terms of paywise and everything the weather is something because we wanted to kind of just completely go far far away from that winter like seven six seven months of winter so Texas made a lot of sense so we both decided to make a trip to us as well as India MH that let's take a little vacation and let me let me clear something here so we came to India in 2017 to get married after that my husband did not step back in India so all this years he never I used to visit India every year or every two years but my husband would like he's like you go I'm here I'll stay here I'm fine I don't have to come to India

36:44 Whichever people I'm missing I'll bring them here so you continue going in I for me coming to India was getting my battery recharge so there is no way I can go like go over two years without visiting India so I used to visit India and that's the reason I witnessed the growth of India that how things are changing yes India is far from being perfect till today but the progress that we have made in 10 years and you consider and if you look at the progress of any Western countries people don't realize how far we have come and that's what I appreciate about India coming with the the challenges that India has with so much population and the other challenges that we consider right 10 years and becoming this and being noticed on a world map it's not an easy thing it's not a small thing yeah so we first we went to us we went to Florida to kind of I always wanted to go to Disney so we made a trip there and it's kind of like you know you were on a honeymoon phase when you were on a on on a visit so we loved everything about

37:46 Like oh weather is so good taxes is not that high I felt people were in general people were more happy in US compared to Canada like there in Canada Uber driver wouldn't even like speak to you or even if they're talking to you it's pure intention of making a tips after so you feel there was the conversation were not forced you know they were people were really happy they were more there into their Zone and they wouldn't really care about what's happening right so it definitely felt good 100% but when we started doing the research it felt like okay yes we are going through a bad good weather yes probably we'll pay less tax and everything but then we still starting everything from scratch M so in terms of immigration status first comes that's the big challenge when you consider us because us even though we are a Canadian citizen us does not consider that they provide you the immigration status based on the country you are born not the country the

38:48 Passport that you hold right so we were not ready to give up that Freedom we were not really like okay we are at that age now that we don't want to like sacrifice where we have to constantly concern about like okay what's going to happen tomorrow if you visit India what if they don't let you back in the country again because you never know what things can what how things can go his sister and his brother-in-law lives in San Diego fortunately from Canada we used to I used to visit India multiple times but they on the other hand are not able to they would probably make the trip three four years once right so we did want to have that at the same time the city we were considering Plano taxes at the time and and the the area that we were looking the properties into and everything we were thinking to consider that's exactly where there was a mall where there was a shooting that happened yeah around the same time we were considering to travel there and explore the city and

39:49 The shooting happened so my husband is like there is no way I can I can leave every day that okay you are probably in a mall or you're going or you're shopping or you are out there doing your minding your own business and some crazy person would come out of nowhere and do this so and I would have the same stress constantly like I'm pretty sure people are living there so it's not as crazy as it sounds but there is a possibility and you don't want to do that so we completely dropped the idea of moving to us at the time and then comes the trip to India which was last September so now he is coming after almost seven eight years okay and the moment we he I guess during this journey when he did not come to India he forgot how it feels to be surrounded by your own people yeah he forgot how it feels to be part of your own culture you forgot that he doesn't have to have two personalities here in in any any Western

40:50 Country you choose to live it's not that you are obligated but it's natural you kind of carry two personalities you are out there trying to mingle with the locals and then you yourself in your house with your wife with your kids with your family right so that also can be very stressful sometimes for people so when he came here he was himself out of nowhere I always used to describe him that how the moment I get on the flight to India there is some kind of a stress factor that kind of just goes away so he fell that and he went Bonkers and within a ziy the dude changed his mind he completely changed his mind he he started loving we made a multiple trip because we were considering Bangalore as well so we decided to take one trip with my side of family one trip with his side of family and we decided to make a trip to Bangalore because him being an it we thought that Bangalore will have a really good scope for him and as I said I'm in a hotel so I'll find something for sure so we made those multiple trips

41:51 And when he traveled and he experienced the hospitality here had the accessibility he had zero idea about the way the you know the QR code Works he had zero idea about the technology the way we have advanced in last 10 years he had zero idea about it and when he started comparing all that with Canada where you still have to go to the bank to do certain things or you have to wait 14 15 hours before getting your turn even if you have a broken hand and that happened with him he had to wait in an emergency for such a long time before a doctor would just come and see him and here when he went for a full body checkup not only the entire body checkup happened in entire day in in one day the results were WhatsApp yeah that was just you know just like he was Bamboozled with everything so he understood that how far India has progressed and then we started doing the research in terms of work culture and a lot of people like yes we cannot deny the fact the work culture still has that toxicity and

42:52 There still work life balance is still not a thing and priority in India however not every company is working before it used to be like regardless which company you choose to work you go through the same challenges but now it's different so you just have to be a little bit wise and just do your research yeah and choose the company that you want to work for and do their homework about it ask the people like okay how it is so that's exactly how then we came back and then he felt that emptiness when we flew back to Canada after doing all the research and everything and he felt that emptiness and we came back during winter a hardcore winter in Canada so that that makes it more worse so he was sitting outside and he was just so quiet and I'm like what is happening and he's like you know what now even if you change your mind I am not changing it so yeah so that's how kind of from us to can India kind of happened so that's how we decided to just finalize because we did our research we came here and we made sure that everything is working good

43:54 In our favor and as I say not everything is going to be smooth and you know everything's going to be honky Dory here but at the same time there are so many factors if you consider that amount of we get a good job and the with the experience and everything we both have gained the pay we will receive what are the expenses and especially in Gujarat so we consider everything having a household help or the grocery we even calculated the onion price from Canada to us to India or milk price every day-to-day expenses that we have to we go through true to have a good lifestyle so we considered all of it we did all that research we reflected everything for over a probably year or so and then we decided to kind of make our move oh what a fascinating so especially a spouse who is not at all interested and who doesn't even travel to India for almost s to eight years and one trip changed that mind in terms of yeah maybe something that you have

44:54 Planned the trip very well so that he has that experience or what no I guess the good thing I did that I did not push him he did not feel like it came naturally from him I didn't want to approach them and I know that lot of Partners kind of goes through the struggle that one partner wants to move and other is not in they not on the same boat so I do understand struggle and I kind of had the similar thing however I think the the trip to India kind of changed that for my husband in our favor yeah no thanks a lot for sharing such a detailed info there so how was the planning maybe you can talk a little bit on the career side I think your husband was in it and you were in Hospitality you have you searched for jobs before the move or after the move

45:43 And how did it go anything that you can share on that yes of course so when we finalize our decision that yes we are moving moving and you know come with us like we're not going to change our plan we kind of started working towards it so the first thing that we wanted to do is not put our all eggs in one basket we wanted to be very practical yes it's an emotional decision staying with her family and everything is amazing 100% but at the same time he's he's a man of planning he will plan the things that probably they will get attacked by alien one day and we'll have to have a bunker down there so he'll do the planning up to that point so when we kind of started looking into it he's like okay let's do this first so let's not sell everything off let's first maybe you go first right because you have the the sense of job security and obviously it's very practical thing his pay scale and my pay scill will be definitely different

46:43 And he has more secured so if I happen to take this risk and leave my job and go somewhere else I can and if there are red Flex I can still go back and again be part of the company that I used to work for and my last company was amazing the property that I used to work for there they were very sad that I was leaving but at the same time my manager my head said that you know if you ever come back to Canada make remember that you have your place here so I had that sense of security as well so we decided that it would be a good idea for me to first move kind of stay here and then start considering all the factors and obviously the first thing comes starts a job so what I did I started reaching out to a Hospitality Prof professionals on LinkedIn it was and it's something very helpful so I would like to share this with the audience as well like if you are in a process of you know searching for a job hunting for a job do this start reaching out to the people share your idea like share your story about like

47:44 You're considering this you're in a process of moving and and don't just say that you want to you know you're desperately just connecting with them for a job purposes but you want to understand the culture there so that's how I started approaching people here especially in Amad because after and I also want to mention that even we considered Bangalore at some point but because our family lives in Gujarat and my family especially in Amad his family in in bagar it made more sense for us to kind of stay in Amad but also at the same time we also wanted to see like where I get the job if I do not get the job within Amad then obviously we'll have to do what we'll have to do so I started reaching out on to people from there are a lot of properties as I said back in 2013 there were not a lot of hotels but now there is it's like this blooming the hotel industry in Amad and especially with the gift City coming and the yeah so I started reaching out to them and then the moment I landed I started meeting them over a coffee or

48:45 Lunch and just connecting with them and showing them and talking about my experience and everything and that's how I kind of got noticed by them that they knew that we do have a candidate and spee one thing is really still Works in our favor especially for nris is that International experiences looked at it with very with huge amount of respect they do see it like okay you have worked on International level and if you have been with a good company they know that you will be very useful part of the company you can be a very good candidate so I was able to get two to three interviews within the first week okay right after I landed and it only happened because I started reaching out and meeting people over LinkedIn 6 months ago so that's what I did so if anyone is in a process of moving in the next year or so this is the time you start your homework you kind of started sending and connecting with them over and have a phone call whatever works best for you and I will assure you this that the the positive response our people give you is insane I never

49:48 Thought like I mean I reached out to people in Canada over LinkedIn but I would never get any response from them they would never you know steal a time from their busy schedule and talk to me or anything but here they started going above and beyond the people who knew me only over like they only knew me virtually they started sending my resume all around the India so I can get the opportunity wherever it is and who does that so I still love that about our people like they will help you with the intention or not having the you know with the urge of getting anything in written in the future right so I loved that and I started getting interviews some jobs the pay scale and everything did not work out for me but then I eventually probably within a two weeks I got an interview from adani corporation which is the blooming Corporation now in Gujarat and obviously in India as well and I was able to secure a very good position a management position there and I'm I'm in a process of onboarding right now and I'll be

50:48 Starting soon there so so this is the job wise so this is what helped me the researching and everything kind of help me now if I talk about if I talk about the research in terms of cost of living and everything I said that when we were considering and we were kind of confused between us and India that's when my husband kind of started doing the detailed research on everything and till today he has that whiteboard where we have written down the cost of every small little things the pros and cons but my husband always says the cons are always there in everything no matter what you do it's just the it's just up to you which cons you're okay living with yeah are you want to be financially you know and to be honest now I can't even say that about the Western Country that before it was that yeah financially stable but now it's not even the case you are not even financially stable there anymore whatever Goods you kind of own like whether it's your car or whether it's your house if you own a house you are kind of tied up to that house for 30 years if you own a if you own a car you

51:50 Are you're paying a lot amount of your insurance and the in the rate right so this is where we kind of did all the research and everything and we like okay what are the cons and what are the pros of moving to India and then we did the cost like whether it's a household heal or if it's it's a grocery or if it's I mean I'm I'm renting my place right now because we wanted to buy a house after he moves here when he secured his job as well and so we consider all that factors as well and India we have a culture of you know even in in Canada we completely forgot that when you visit somebody's place it's just not the bottle of wine that you get now you have to start other things there are a lot of other factors that goes in terms of families and you know in your within your culture whether you're attending a wedding or birthday parties so we will consider that cost as well yeah that okay that those kind of rituals will also start a household help or how much it costs to just have somebody to do a Swip and mop in your house to somebody have somebody you want to have 24/7 we calculated that cost

52:53 The travel cost how much when we can travel if we are making certain amount of money how much we will have to continue enjoying because we also wanted to have we didn't want to sacrifies the the kind of life that we had it there even calculate the vacation cost that okay we can have a really nice two probably at least minimum two trips one international one within India and India is something that people should have even Explore because there's a lot to see in India as well and that I experienced when I went to udur last time when we went here so that was also something that we calculated so we made a list of each and every every cost that a person can come across when they're trying to lead good luxurious life and I'm not saying luxurious well you go and buy a Prada or Zara or anything but something that is more than enough to for you to be happy so we calculated all that factors and as I said that I moved here and I landed like probably two months

53:55 Ago and within a two weeks I was able to secure my job I moved to this apartment that I'm living with my right now my my aunt and my mom is staying with me till my husband comes so I did that settling for him I arranged everything that he doesn't have to stress about when he comes and at the same time my job was to even observe any red flx which apart from heat I don't think I I observed anything I'm very mentally happy I'm on the air right now in terms of like amount of time I have went out with my friends for a coffee I used to cry to my friends there like can we meet for a coffee at least coffee okay I understand you don't want to go out and spend so much money for a dinner but can we at least meet over a coffee and the way I'm able to do all that here I'm getting the birthday invites from my my relatives and everything or they just randomly stopping by our house for a to have a cup of tea it's just making me so much happy having my my seeing my mom who's growing old now and

54:55 Seeing her around like being able to spend that time with her is definitely making me making me a lot happier than what I was in Canada there I would wake up and my life was like a machine I wake up I make myself a tea I go to work I come home have no energy to cook so order in clean house so that's just the routine you only have a fun there when you're taking a vacation yeah no so thanks a lot for sharing such a detail sounds like I think your husband is a a very detail planner analytical thought process I mean allow to get that the spreadsheet or the analysis you know from a cost of living parity and very helpful practical tips on the career transition right especially you know approaching or researching on which companies that you want to focus on I think this is a subtle thing that you mentioned in your discussion not every company is the same in terms of the work culture there are some companies which are better and so you need to do research and select those companies and do a like a soft approach

55:56 To the hiring managers and try to meet them and you'll be able to land a job that you want so very lot of practical tips there so sounds like I think you are Happy living in India for the last two months things are going well so if everything goes well according to the plan like when is your

56:15 Husband planning to relocate just curious on that well as soon as possible he's having a big foro right now whenever he sees me having a homemade food and everything he's definitely wants to fly as fast as possible however you want to be practical in life you want to make sure that you are not missing any factor that you should consider right so he is in a process of securing the job for himself he's trying that he gets the transfer within his company good thing that his company is also in India and it is kind of like technically India is becoming the main hub for it so he's in a process of finding a job for him meanwhile we are also he's also wrapping up everything that we have left there because we kind of don't want to put leave any commitments there we don't want to have to we don't want to have a property that we kind of have to continue dealing with it and at the same time with God grace we were able to at least earn and save as much that we can when we sell it off we can have a good life here like we can buy a good house which is all paid or we can

57:17 Have a vehicle that is all paid so whatever will earned moving forward will be all for us we don't really have to worry about paying any mortgage or install ment on a car or anything so he's in a process of that so let's see if he secure a job tomorrow I guess he will be with talking to you in probably day after tomorrow so that's that's that fast he wants to kind of fly here but obviously he's kind of just making sure that all the factors are covered So Pro we are hoping worst come worse we are hoping probably by October he should be here and if not then Diwali is something that is definitely celebrating in India with job or without job but he wants to make sure that Diwali is in India this time it's not a fake Diwali it's a real Diwali that we are celebrating with actually seeing everyone getting dressed up and having that having that Vibe around you so yeah that's the plan for him for now great so just one quick question that I want to check on the career if it's okay I know you coming from a Hospitality

58:18 Background and the career as you mentioned already like India is known for it right like from non- it the opportunities ESP especially you know within the last 10 to 15 years how has things changed how was the opportunity for some non-it or from someone in Hospitality also like if you can talk a little bit on that in terms of the opportunities currently in

58:40 India so I would say back in 2013 and based on my research at that time as I said the pay scale was definitely very low for the the amount that you were investing the energy that you were putting into which has completely changed now Amad especially Gujarat the hotel culture just started blooming right so if I talk about my industry at the time coming across the one job was also a very hard thing like you do not see hiring as much now I have been here for like about two months and in last two months I see openings in every property every now and then in a different areas so now we have a very well-known Hotel chain called ITC NADA it's one of the luxurious BR that's there marot has opened around 20 properties only within amdavad there is a Hilton in aabad there is a Novotel which is aor property aor which is it also owns a property like

59:41 Fairmont so all these properties are InterContinental all these properties are there and they're constantly hiring and looking for a good candidates yes when it comes to work culture it still hasn't changed in hotels hotels unfortunately still struggles to provide that work life balance and that was one of the reason where I was like bit hesitant like okay if I'll be again doing the same thing spending 13 14 hours a day of my life at work where I'm going to how I'm going to leave my life what I'm the reason I'm moving to India because I want to have that stability and the peace of mind and have a quality life with my with my friends and family so that's still there unfortunately Hotel industry I got for in that situation where I got a job in corporate where it's more Monday to Friday all the holidays off and everything so don't lose hope you will definitely get it if you look for it so that's what I would like to say here if I talk about my husband he is definitely able to find good positions

1:00:44 In a city like Bangalore Mumbai Pune however in andava is still kind of the picture is not so good yet so what he's trying to is probably can find a job that is in Mumbai or in Pune or Bangalore but which doesn't require him to be there maybe something that he can work from home so he can stay we can stay in Amad however he did come across some of the some of the opportunities recently and it feels like there is a home maybe he'll be able to secure a job where he will be he might not have to really leave in that City and will be able to just continue working from amabat but if it doesn't doesn't happen we' got to do what we got to do now we have made such a big step we cannot worry about the small hurdles we really have to get over them and just move forward to the direction that helps us most so this is something that I observed it is something that is not my my best suit he he's the right person or anybody from the it will be

1:01:46 The right person to talk about it but if I talk about my industry if anyone is coming from Hospitality in general whether it's a restaurant industry or hotel industry you definitely have a lots and lots of opportunities in India now and and the pay scale is also have gone higher it's not like how it used to be back in that time great yeah so one quick question I know you mentioned during the talk it's which cons that you would accept and live there right so I want to touch on that so based on your research when you're deciding to move back to us or India like what are the cons that you like you know assumed or like you know expected but it's okay to accept them so I don't know if there's anything that you can share there just curious I mean I know we all know about Pros you know family food you know all that just curious in terms of the cons that you kind of lay down on the paper or at least you know thought through it but it is it is part of the parcel like I think you know you accept it and move on so just curious on that

1:02:43 If there's anything that you can share there absolutely so I I'm not sure if I should say this as a con the first thing that I'm about to mention but for some people it can be and that's the that's the pay the number going so down compared to the dollars regardless which currency you're earning there definitely when whenever you go for any position and the package that you will be offered even it's the best package they can offer in a current market to us from our perspective that package will be very low because the first thing you're going to do is you're going to mentally compare that with the packages to make however this is the factor where I would say that people should consider all this you know the detail expenses that if you're earning that much how much you are spending there and if you're earning this much in India how much you have are spending after all your expenses so this can be a con and it wasn't a con for us but we did put list it down in the con list that okay first of all we have to kind of be okay

1:03:43 That our pay is not going to sound as handsome as it used to sound in Canada so that was the first thing second is it's something that no matter what I do I will never be able to okay with but something that I'll have to kind of adjust to live with it and for both of us actually because we are choosing to live in Amad in Gujarat the heat is Extreme it's just next level however the way we kind of convince ourself is that at least we don't have to shovel heat we don't have to wake up in the morning and clean the heat off our car or we don't have to go down and clean our driveway with the heat so that now someone don't fall and then they don't sue us so that's how we kind of convinced ourself in terms of being okay with the hit but if you are choosing to live in a Bangalore Bangalore has a wonderful wonderful weather it was so pleasant when we visited it and it was around the same time so I mean then it might not be a big deal like hbad or Bangalore will be a definitely even

1:04:43 Mumbai at some point but if you're choosing to come back to Ahmedabad or Gujarat this is definitely something that you have to be okay with and you have to just be ready to spend a good amount of money in electricity will because your AC is going to be 24/7 so that and the third and I guess it's a very it's in a way it's a controversial thing to say but people just need to hear me out where I'm coming from here is the having not having the boundaries with your family now this is the factor when I mentioned that lot of people especially the couples the reason why one partner is on board and the other not is because of that and mostly they are and I can say that because I'm a female then mostly they are female who doesn't want to because the involvement from the family side gets too too much because right now at least yeah they are having that life where they are not certainly happy but at least they know that I don't have to wake up and deal with those extra stress every day that

1:05:45 Involvement unnecessary involvement so that's the con in a way but if you are somebody who can set a good boundary with certain family members in your life then I don't think you can have a better life anywhere else than India but yes family is the reason you come back but at the same time you kind of have to have your boundaries and how I and my husband kind of dealt with it is in a way is we we both kind of communicated this with our family that see we would love to come back and we want to live with you and you are the one of the reason why you want to come back we want to have the family around we want to spend all those good festivals with you but at the same time when it comes to the decisions when it comes to the lifestyle no one has say in it but me and him so and that good thing is after like you know now they know that we are grown we have achieved so much on our own without having their help so they do trust it was difficult for them because they parents and they always see you as a five years old kid and they cannot you

1:06:47 Know stop themsel from getting involved in your life however I always tell them like when I was in Canada you were not there to tell me what is right and what is not but I I guess I did a good job with my life so you just need to trust me and you just have to trust us and we will definitely do good with our life right and whenever there's a guidance needed we will be the first person to approach you that okay you know what we don't know what to do how about you share your wisdom with us and tell us what to do so these are the for me these were the three cons yeah pay scale I would say the Heat and the and the family boundaries so these are the three things that I would say that was the in a con list for us Finance was not so much because it wasn't it was not the adjustment we were looking at we were thinking it's it's the labor of love yeah that we are focusing on so that's why like okay if our house will be not as big as Canada it's fine but it will be our house all paid we own it I am not paying a

1:07:48 Mortgage on it or let's see if we are not afford the same brand car that we used to have in Canada it's okay at this will be mine I'm not paying a certain interest on it or certain insurance on it so that factor kind of help us to be completely okay with it and there was no hustle there got it no thanks a lot for sharing such a specific details and what the thought process was it is very helpful for people who are thinking along the same lines and how they should think about it right so just one last question is there anything that we haven't covered that you want to bring up or any advice that you want to give to the future aspirants from your perspective so I would just say two

1:08:30 Things and I'm going to Target two different audience here one the one audience will be the students who are in a process of moving to abroad in any countries and my other other advice the the adults who probably are my our age or maybe older than us and have been in Canada us for a long time and in a in that dilemma of whether they should move or not so first I'll focus on the students see I started my journey as a student and I started from the scratch and I am in a big favor of you leaving your house once it's very important for anyone to at least leave your house once because when you leave abroad and when you work on your own when you hustle on your own when you struggle on your own you not only get mentally strong physically strong and financially strong and hear me out when I say this is because you learn so much you learn to overcome your challenges on your own having your parents or friends or family around you so that that makes you very mentally

1:09:31 Strong you start planning on your own finances whether it's in a smaller scale whether it comes to just you making certain amount of money and paying your house rent or your phone bill or your bus pass student bus pass there so when you do all that small little things you learn managing your finance and you also still out a little bit to have a fun go out do things with your friends right so it's very important do step out of your comfort zone once in your life if you can if the finance obviously the if the financial condition of your family of course if it permits you so you should definitely do that also with that said if you choose to leave do not go with the idea that I'm going to get everything soed do not believe the social media it's social media is shating everybody it's not the real picture I'm not saying that picture is not there 100% but it's not all in it because people who are showing you all that good car or good houses good job or that you know

1:10:33 Fancy lifestyle that you see is something that came after such a long time after a lot of struggles but they do not really cover all of it there so be ready to struggle lot if I talk about my own journey I used to clean toilets I used to work walk around the community to for newspapers I used to drop newspapers newspapers in people's house at like 4: 5:30 in the morning I have done three jobs and studied at the same time and I'm not kind of trying to like you know brag about it it's the it's the it becomes your second nature it's the reality of it you or me everyone sorry inter I think the key thing there is don't get fall into this H fancy world that's been shown but understanding the reality and the hustle that someone has to go through to make this happen and very very rightly said sorry for that Interruption I just want underscore that importance right especially for students who are going abroad and it's very

1:11:34 Important to go abroad for that experience for that Insight but also have the realistic expectations on what you will be doing absolutely and and that that's my whole point of it just don't go with that just because somebody got success within a two months or three months it will be the same story for you you will eventually reach there if you stay consistent obviously but at the same time just be mentally prepared that anything can be thrown at you and then you kind of have to be ready to face it and I would I will wrap up saying that about in terms of the future if you are going there with the idea of settling down just have the plan be as well if you want to settle down 100% work towards the direction and if you're okay with all the stuff that I mentioned the stuff that bothered me and pushed me to move back to India if it doesn't bother you great not necessarily everyone gets bothered by the same thing but if you choose to go there then make sure that you're working toward that direction and moving to that direction very wisely or have a plan B that I will earn that much that I can

1:12:35 Come back to India and have a good life so just have the little bit window for everything that whatever situation comes you have a better plan and better you know structure for your life that what you want to do next and if I shift my focus into the adults and the people who are in a dilemma of moving back I would say to be honest just I would I would everyone who's trying to move back definitely are doing the research they are considering all the factors so I don't think I'll I'm a I'm that bigger person to kind of say that however I would just say one thing that do kind of just trust your decision in terms of it and coming back to your own people coming back to your own country can never be a wrong decision I don't think it can ever be a wrong decision just make sure your Finance are all covered if you're somebody with kids definitely you want to consider all the factors that are attached with the they having kids the schools and expenses that attached in my case that's not the factor but I'm sure the family of four

1:13:35 Or family of three who are moving there you're going to have that Financial structure Financial concerns that you kind of have to consider as well so yeah that's that's my advice and that's my suggestion to the people that do trust your decision your parents not going to be around whether we like to say it or not but they not going to be always around so even if you just do that for a shorter time just come here stay with them and if you are a passport holder of any country you always have the doors to go back so just give yourself that chance we take life very seriously just just you know play around with your life challenge yourself maybe come for a short time and then if this is not for you you can always go back but don't just stay in Delma don't continue living there but always continue missing India at the same time because that will not make you happy anywhere you choose to stay oh very very well said thanks a lot for such a good advice especially like you know not to be in the Dilemma take a decision and spend the time with the parents you know I think or whatever

1:14:37 It is right I mean make a decision and live with it so definely no so you have been such a wonderful guest you know providing such a valuable information and the thought process sharing all the details in terms of how your journey has been painting the the thought process behind mind what made you to move or like the life in Canada move back to India and you know a lot of practical tips on the career like even like how you approached the decision to move back not from an emotional perspective but in a practical pragmatic considering all the things and making a decision and implementing it sounds like you know you you both are a lovely couple like both empathetic to each other and taking care of each other so wish you all the best and thank you very much for being on sure thank you so much a and one thing before I go I want to say is thank you for being coming up with this idea and the channel your channel is kind of a playing a role as a words from the horse's mouth

1:15:39 It's U it's definitely helping people to understand it better the people as I said don't stay in dilemma and I guess your channel is definitely helping those people not to stay in dilemma because a lot of people even if you see in the group they are considering to move back after taking lot of advice and the wisdom and observing that from your channel so thank you so much for having me today and thank you so much for doing whatever you're doing so I really appreciate it it's my pleasure thanks a lot thank you thank you all for joining us on this insightful Journey Of Da return if you enjoyed this episode and want to explore more stories and expert advice make sure to subscribe and hit the notification Bell don't forget to leave a comment below with your thoughts and experience by the way check out the links in the description below for our Facebook group and social media for updates and engaging discussions as well as connecting with fellow Thea wrers thank you once again and until next time may your Thea journey be filled with joy

1:16:40 Growth and endless possibilities