Venkat spent 14 years in the US before he and Radhika moved back to India in October 2018. They explain how they planned the move, why they chose Mumbai and what work and family life have been like since.
Venkat spent 14 years in the US before he and Radhika moved back to India in October 2018. They explain how they planned the move, why they chose Mumbai and what work and family life have been like since.
Venkat grew up in Mumbai and completed his bachelor's degree there. He then went to Arizona State University for a master's in mechanical engineering. He says his father had always wanted to study abroad and had planted that idea in him. Venkat spent two and a half years on the degree, graduated with an MS, and then started working in Phoenix. He arrived in the US in 2004.
Radhika moved to the US around 2009, during the recession, for a work opportunity. A client needed her in Wisconsin, and her employer processed her H-1B visa without the lottery, which she describes as very lucky. They were not married when she moved, and each had different plans at the time. They married in 2012.
Venkat says he did not go to the US to build a career or make money. He played cricket in Arizona almost every day and rode a fast motorcycle on the state's highways. After they married, the couple travelled to national parks, drove a BMW and stayed in five-star hotels in Las Vegas. He describes their life at that time as very nice and lavish.
Venkat says the intention was there from the start. He describes himself as idealistic and says that, from his first day in the US, he wanted to come back. After they married, the couple talked about going back, but not actively. A bucket-list trip around Europe and his brother's wedding came first.
Family was the first obstacle. His father had diabetes complications, his brother was not working and his mother was a housewife. Venkat kept sending money home and felt he could not leave while his father was unwell. His father died in 2010.
He first returned to India in 2008, after about three and a half years away, and found his family had changed. He still wanted to be with his mother and brother, but he says he was losing touch with them while living abroad.
Venkat says the couple never built strong ties in the US. Their closest friends were mostly people who had grown up there, and they lived near the ocean in Los Angeles, away from an Indian community. They were not very social, and group trips and gatherings did not become part of their life.
The biggest factor, he says, was their son. Venkat felt the boy was alone as an only child, with little family nearby. He also says children raised in the US can treat their own grandparents like strangers for a few days. Once their son was born, the decision took a firmer hold.
Venkat also questioned how he could teach his children their culture when he is not culturally close himself. For another non-IT family's story, read the story of a non-IT family that moved back after 21 years.
Immigration rules played a part too. Venkat's company changed brands through several acquisitions, and each change meant refiling his green card, so the card never arrived. He says that after Trump won the election, he concluded it was not going to come, and that this was another trigger to leave.
Venkat says planning started as soon as they married. Radhika had a bucket list that included Europe, so the couple saved for about three years, then took a two-week trip through Switzerland, the Czech Republic, Italy and Amsterdam. They finished that list before they turned to the return.
Radhika then set the next step. She had worked in India before, and she told Venkat that to earn well there, he would need to return as a manager or leader, which meant an MBA. In 2015 she signed him up for a UCLA orientation programme and took him to it. She expected his job search to be harder than hers, since she works in IT and India has plenty of that work.
Venkat's own work is in planning: master planning, city planning and water systems. Radhika did not plan her own job, because she was confident she would find work. By 2015 they knew they would leave in 2018, a two and a half to three year programme, and they talked about it every day.
For a longer lead time, read the 7-year career and family plan for a non-IT NRI.
Venkat's US company had acquired a firm with a large presence in India. He asked to work with the Indian team, and it happened. He worked with that team for about a year and liked the work.
In 2017 the company's exchange programme sent him to India, and it covered the trip. He visited two offices, worked out the kind of work he wanted and met the people involved. He told his manager he would arrive in 2018 and asked whether there would be a role for him.
During that visit he interviewed at three companies in his field and told each one he would join whichever offered first. From the US, he says, he had got few calls without a referral, and he is not sure whether that is still true. With no referrals in India, he went and interviewed in person.
Radhika first planned to transfer within her own company, but it did not offer her a role then, so she joined a competitor in the same field. Her first year was hard, because her US clients meant evening work. Things changed when her manager, who had just been promoted, offered her his job. She took it and says work has been good since.
The couple had three cities in mind: Delhi, Mumbai and Chennai. Radhika had lived in Delhi before and was against both Delhi and Chennai, so they chose Mumbai.
Their parents were in different places. Radhika's parents were in Chennai and Venkat's in Mumbai. Radhika says they like their home decorated a certain way, and they wanted to be near family without living with them.
The couple note that Mumbai has technology work, but less than Bengaluru, Chennai or Hyderabad, which have a better lay of the land and more product companies.
Radhika's objection to Chennai was pressure from relatives, with constant questions and unwelcome visits, and she wanted to avoid that. Venkat says the area they settled in had good schools and many families who had lived abroad, and that services there cost a little more.
Venkat also wanted the support Mumbai could offer: a good community and help at home, so they could focus on their son. He notes that help at home does not give you free time automatically, because managing helpers takes effort too.
Venkat is candid that the couple did not build a savings corpus. His only savings in the US was his 401(k), which they had not moved to India. Their working assumption was a salary that would keep their lifestyle going in Mumbai.
They did not bring money back to India. Venkat says they spent on convenience, such as a nanny for their son instead of daycare, and cleaners who came often. He says saving was never the first item on the agenda. He also says they did not come from wealthy families: his father's last salary was about 8,000 rupees before he died.
Their car purchase followed the same logic. They did not buy a car in the first six months, and then chose the cheapest model, which cost about five lakh rupees at the time, though they could have afforded a BMW. He adds that the starting price of that kind of car is now seven to eight lakh rupees.
These prices are the figures Venkat gave in the video, for the time of purchase. This is general information, not personal tax, legal or investment advice.
Readers who want a structured approach to the money side can look at the Financial Blueprint course, or at a 9-step NRI roadmap for planning finances before moving back to India.
Venkat says he expected to adjust fastest, but it took him almost two and a half years. He puts that down to being very organised, in a country he says is not. Small frustrations added up: a driver who at times arrived half an hour late, a plumber who could take an hour to arrive, and having to cook when he was ill.
Radhika adjusted well, and Venkat says he was not surprised, since she had never lived with his mother or brother. Their son adjusted fastest of all. He was 18 months old when they arrived, and the family enrolled him in school in the first month. Venkat took a planned three-month break before starting work, while Radhika looked for a job.
The early years also covered the pandemic. Venkat's building had strict rules, and if two residents were infected, the whole building could be locked down. His mother's standalone house had no such rules, so before each lockdown he ran to her house. He took her to get vaccinated.
Venkat says India gives him what he needs: the right doctor, an appointment, things done, and usually a second option when the first does not work. He adds that losing a job on an H-1B visa is a much tougher situation than in India.
The losses are real too. In the US, Saturdays went to chores, which Venkat found irritating, but the family had its weekends. In India, he says, weekends do not seem to belong to the family: a Saturday event at his company clashed with a visit to his sister before she left for the US to study. The couple say their son spends weekends with his grandparents, who love having him around. For another look at what changes after many years abroad, read the unexpected things families notice after 20 years in the US.
Venkat says work is the biggest difference. In the US he had a team and spent about 5% of his time on people management. In India he puts it closer to 50%, because team members face family emergencies and workers at home do not always turn up.
The couple say flexibility is possible if it is set up early, and that many people are afraid to ask for it. Venkat could finish at five in the US. In India, even when colleagues ask for work-life balance, consulting work with European or American clients can keep a day from ending at five. They advise talking to employers about expectations and being realistic.
Pay depends on the employer. Venkat says he researched what he could expect before moving, and that some large Indian groups still pay on the Indian scale. He suggests start-ups that offer employee stock options, or multinationals serving global clients, where pay can come in dollars, euros or pounds.
On research work, Venkat is cautious. Someone doing groundbreaking technical work will rarely get that role in India unless their company nominates them to do it there. Many firms now have product teams in India, but he is not sure they do breakthrough work. Cloud work is strong in India, he says, while research-heavy work is harder to find. A couple of his friends in science, including biology, did not find that work satisfying in India.
His advice is to find a niche and a company that does this work, which he says is far easier from the US. Readers weighing a return as a career move can read whether moving back to India is a smart career move for non-IT NRIs.
The couple advise partners to be on the same page before they move, with no element of doubt. Partners should keep contributing at home in India too, since otherwise the decision can look bad and everything falls on one person.
They also warn against moving mainly to care for parents:
If your main reason to come to India is to take care of your parents, most of the time it will fail.
Parents and in-laws have their own lives, and friendships take time to build. Venkat says making friends has been the hardest part for him. He advises coming for yourself, with a clear view of whether you want to build a career, a family or both.
On money, the couple say to be realistic about pay. Venkat says anyone who wants to return within about ten years needs a real specialty skill to earn at the level they expect. His own pay came from 14 years with one company, where people knew him as someone who could get things done, though he is not a technical expert. He warns that start-up culture can look modern but often works like traditional Indian workplaces.
Choosing a city is part of the plan. Ask whether you want a big city or a smaller one, and whether you are coming for your career or your family. Venkat says some people plan to work for US employers from India on US hours, but working late every night can damage health.
Last, decide from a position of strength, with priorities clear. Venkat says he could move because his company wanted to promote him. People who move after a layoff, or from a job that is not working, do not always have that choice. The couple also suggest talking a lot and being clear about priorities at each stage of life.
Watch the full conversation on the Desi Return YouTube channel.
Use the return-to-India planner to set out work, money and family plans for both partners before you decide.
Auto-generated captions, lightly cleaned
0:05 I thought but what happened was I took the longest to adjust okay it took me almost two and a half years to adjust wow okay so and and it was mainly because of the fact that I was I'm a very organized person yeah especially right I think the love he has for his grandma and his grandparents right we could never have that in us right for him it will be like go they come they play they everything but now his mom is like so happy always to have him around so every weekend we'll go and he'll be like Grandma give me this people complain about cleanliness and you know the pollution and all but I felt I had more issues in us than here can you believe that though there's no pollution there are some agents in I mean in the you know the how us is right I had a sand allergy to us beaches so it was yeah and I don't have I never spent I had a team there yeah but I probably spent 5% in people management yeah here
1:08 I spent 50% in people management like somebody's mom died somebody fell down somebody's SP and I think their family relationship also right many of the women have a difficult in-laws right so forcing them to stay with them or we do have fun here still even if you are in an expensive locality and everything the women focus and the ideas and the discussion is more around gossips and you know kids and the husband I think the equality that we have in US does not exist here still women are you know lower hand and I think that part women mostly women get affected most when they come here right because they have to again be the you know
2:21 Hello everyone welcome back to another episode of Dai return today we have radika and wenat on our show both radika and wenat spent close to 14 years I know radika joined wenat a little later after staying for 14 years in us they decided to move back to India and they have been living in India for close to six years and they have seen pretty much you know most of it I think in the last six years so I'm really looking forward to the discussion in terms of how the life is in India and what made them to move back to India and so on with that welcome radika and WKA to the show thank you hi everyone thank you great so let's start a bit with your background and what made you to move to
3:12 Us I think for me it was just a like you know because we both were not the at the time when we moved to us he had different plans I had different plans we were not married at that point of time so I basically moved because I got an opportunity exactly during the recession period that is around 20 09 where there was a client requirement in Wisconsin so whro basically processed my H1 without any I mean it was very very lucky because I got it without any lottery or anything so I I moved there that's my end of the story for wut he can briefly describe what he wanted to do yeah yeah so I my my father always wanted to go abroad to study but he couldn't so he kind of put that seed in my head that I should go and do my masters after I did my bachelor's in mbai I'm bornn and brought up in Mumbai so after I did my bachelor's in Mumbai I did the same normal G GMAT root play my got into Arizona State University to do my masters in mechanical engineering so I went there to study did that for two and
4:14 A half years got my Ms in mechanical engineering and then I started working and this was I started working Phoenix got it so how was the life in us you've been there for 14 years I think for you like you know when in 2004 and how was the life and and what made the like the triggering points to think about moving back to India so I I'll start right for me the
4:42 Moment I landed I had a big shock when I started to us I went to Arizona in Phoenix right and I went from Mumbai which is always noisy to a very very silent place right and that was interesting but I had good good life there right and we like I before marriage I had a I really enjoyed the US when I was there I really enjoyed it I was not there to make money I was not there to build a career I was enjoying every single moment that I was there to enjoy what America has to offer which is like natural beauty I played a lot of cricket in Arizona every single day made a lot of good friends I bought a fast motorcycle which I had for five years which I rode at you know the big highways of Arizona so I had a really good life before you and and really enjoy America for what it is right and what it had to offer then after marriage it got even better because we both of us had similar interest of traveling she likes
5:43 National parks a lot so we enjoyed a lot at that time right and one of the things when we got married I was was an marriage so I was obviously looking for girls and my point was very simple because I want to go back right but was very simple so it was a very clearcut requirement for me and there are a couple of relationship that did work because they didn't want to come back and I wanted to she was like yeah let's go back but she made sure B like I got in 202 she had just come in 2019 she like when could give me five years yeah I want to go to National Parks I want to enjoy she and so we sort of planned around that right yes we did not have a definite date in mind but at the same time we had this thing that you know we don't want to go too late that our parents or anybody actually it was not the decision point was not our parents I will put it this way that we always had this lingering in our mind that we have to go back and there are times you know like I think the decision took more stronger hold as soon as our son was born okay right so basically because it was you know they when kids are in us
6:46 Right they don't have the family they don't have the company so they even treat your own their own grandparents like an alien for few days right they feel who is this person and why I'm suddenly supposed to interact with them right so the love that they get from grandparents right that is like that's so totally different so yeah to even come back to the point I mean for me it was like Green Pastures right I always like everything you know in a career I'm getting opportunity as a threeyear old in a company to go to us I was like let's try I don't have any idea how us is neither never did I do a research on what is a bad area good area nothing I I just landed like an new person but I was always different from the crowd around my you know people like in so the how Indian immigrate to us more generically is that you know they will want to save more money right so
7:46 They will have a little lower than Modern Life I mean they wouldn't buy great cars or you know have a good apartment they will save on those H1 $200 here and there I was not like that so I spent my whole salary on buying cars and you know living in a very good apartment and things like that so that's how how I was yeah and that sort of aligned with me also right so I was there I was like if I have to live if I had to go to the US and I had to live in a substandard apartment and dive nothing against people who buy Toyota not our maruti right if I had to do that I would do it here I could have puted that here so so what both of us did let us enjoy our lives when we were in the so as soon as we got married we got a BMW we took it around we went to places we would stay in five star hotels in Vegas we would go to the national parks H in the nicest hotels right we really really enjoyed our time right so but some because of that you know
8:47 Some sometimes we didn't jel with the traditional Indian Community in many places right like we would not be able to go with and that was one of the reasons of coming back is we didn't form strong ties with people right the people we form strong ties were people who are mostly little bit like people grown up in us who were you know little more more in that sense we would not grow with group trips and all so our life in general just to sum up was very nice very lavish yeah right and we really enjoyed it yeah so just curious sounds like I think you always had the plan to move back to India you know from from the beginning is there any particular reason or it just that something you always just curious on
9:30 That yeah for me for me right my dad I always wanted to come back when I went I'm little idealistic okay I'm a Sagittarius I am idealistic so like lot of the stuff I very it's very what do you say not grounded in reality from day one I wanted to come back yeah then what happened was that my I couldn't come back because my dad was not in good health so I had to stay back so I he had some diabetes complication my brother was not working my mother was a housewife so I had to give money so so I still kept sending money like you know even at that time like $500 to ,000 was more than enough to take like was lot more money than I could even make you know in the whole year yeah right so I was doing that then my dad passed away in 2010 right and then I was like I wanted to come back but then to stay with my mom and my brother right kind of I was losing touch because I didn't so one of the things that happened I first went to the US because of this financial challenge right I didn't come back to India for three and a half years oh okay right so 2004 I came only 2008 I came
10:31 2004 August 7 2008 only I came back for the first time right at that time my brother had finished his education only like he went into college and finished you can think right he fresh he had changed completely my brother and my dad had become old so I want to come back right so but then afterwards what happened as we started spending time and we were sping and my kid was going we didn't have people start having kids they were having their own lifestyles I started losing the en of things I never felt at home right I never felt like every weekend Saturday to plan something like you know put kids in a class take them somewhere right then how do I teach them culture right should I teach them culture I'm not a very culturally close person should I teach them should I not teach them right so that things came up and it was I just also want to come back it was very simple at that point of time that we thinking yeah what to do what to do what to do right
11:32 Sure so I think the other thing is that when we were married right we married we we got married in 2012 so after that I had certain bucket list items right I wanted to go around Europe do some adventurous stuff and so we were never like you know thinking about kids or you know moving back to India at that point of time that so we always had a discussion that we'll go back but it was not an active discussion yeah so we got married so then it was more like okay his brother is getting married let's go and take care of that responsibility yeah and then come back and then we had a kid he was also at the same time going to UCLA so the idea I think it became more stronger when he went to UCLA because we wanted him to his the work line that he is in us he he wanted to see if there are more areas where he can work so that it will be easier for us to return to India that is where I think that seed was put in okay let's try what do we do next and one of the things I
12:33 Think we kind of solidified on was that when he finishes his MBA we will try more seriously you know to to think about coming to India and for me at least the major factor is my son yeah I felt he was alone right one kid the whole loneliness whatever you and plus I think we are not that social people right we don't even people invite us I'm not we are not a snob but at the same time we like our convenience we are bit so it doesn't happen so easily that we interact with people so so it was becoming difficult because not many people were near our nebor neighborhood also so our neighborhood was mostly you know Africa afro Americans afro Americans and we stayed near we stayed very close to the ocean in La yeah okay right we didn't stay in an Indian Community we stayed where like we were like in LA let me stay ocean so I we would go to Ocean in 5 minutes cycling I would be at the water yes so we stayed in those areas so we couldn't find a
13:35 Strong community so there sort of that plus we wanted to go back yeah and and when the kid was born it was even stronger right we just want my parents came a couple of times right and every time we would come back to India yeah right it would be really bad right it was like we were like not not we are not waiting to come back yeah right so got it so sounds like I think 2018 is when you actually moved so I know you mentioned I think it's the kid you know after after he was born I think that kind of helped in accelerating ra that broke the camels back let's just put it that because I don't want to come because of it we always wanted to come back but when that happened it was like now does make sense right yeah from an idea to action I think you know just now it's kind of solidified and you just wanted to act on it for example so if we can talk a little bit about the planning so when did you start planning about the mo I think you kind of gave an idea I think after completing the MBA you want to explore the options so maybe if you can touch on the career side financial side
14:37 I think that would be very helpful yeah
14:39 So one thing what we did was see our planning started as soon as you got married okay so because she said she had a bucket list that she said I want to do so she's like I want to see these different places right she said I want to do a Euro trip so both of us just started our careers at that point of not making that much money right and so we slaved a little for three years and after three years with a Euro trip like we went to Switzerland and Czech Republic Italy and Amsterdam we did a two week during that so we planned own that so we finished that checklist first but and she was very clear because she I have never worked in India she had worked in India she's like boss if you want to work in India we need X money right and to get that X money if you want to live you cannot start as a you have to come as a manager as a leader for that you need an MBA so she my she herself signed me up for the UCLA orientation program and took me one day in 2015 she only San Diego that time she took me like boss you come you have to do an MD and her our the at that time which was not actually proven completely
15:40 Right was that I will find hard to get a job and hers will be very easy because she's in it yeah India there's lot of it you will find so that's how we started planning so it actually started planning 2015 so as we knew we were going and we know 2018 we are going to leave so we knew it was a it was a two and a half three year program so we knew we going to go so that's how we started planning so ever since then we started talking yeah every day and for us right everything happens like I a planner my job is planning I do Master planning for work I plan cities I plan Water Systems I plan BTE water system so my job is planning yeah so that's what I do so we and I planned around all that stuff and then we started thinking so and we said L you look for your work you're like I will find work so from that day I started and then at the same year we acquired a company which had a big presence in India my company own company so I then said boss I want to work with the guys in India I told my boss in one day and it happened okay so because it happened
16:42 So we started connecting and then I had a job and then I one year I worked with them I like the work that has been happening and the other thing that I did was and this was all my planning okay she knew she will get a job so she didn't do anything from her side to specifically plan for her work work yeah it was me on the planning side so what be 2017 in India we have an AR company that I work for we have a Exchange program where you can come people go to different countries I came to India yeah as an exchange program so I through that company they funded me to come to India I went to two offices I figured out the kind of work I want to I met the people boss 2018 I am coming so you have a role for me so we did all that stuff and then once the my career 2018 starting when my this thing started ending right my my I started looking at all the companies in my industry which are offices in India yeah right and then I started and when during the 2017 trip I interviewed at three places when I come here and met
17:42 Three different companies all in my career same type of job and I said whoever offers me first I will come MH so that's the way of I was planning and in the end she was she was mentally planning got it like we have to go so you the point was for us the factor was if he gets the job we we are moving yeah I will go and settle down and after three months I'll find a job I know that I did try to interview in us but what I don't know it is the same case now or not but at that point of time unless you have an Indian phone number right they don't schedule a interview or I get hardly any calls unless there is a referral yeah so even when I moved I did not have any referrals per se so I had to basically go and interview and the other part is deciding the location right so we always had in mind that we
18:31 Had three locations one is Delhi Mumbai and Chennai because Chennai my parents live Bombay his parents live and Delhi I have lived before and that is where his arcade India Company was but I was strictly against going to Delhi also Chennai for some reasons so we decided that when we move we'll move to Mumbai so Mumbai ID yes it is there but it's not like to the extent you have it in Bangalore or Chennai yeah so it took me some time yeah or Hyderabad yeah sorry yes all three have better you know like lay of land and more product companies that's another thing yes see the other problem I you know everybody scares you right that if you come from us to India the work culture sucks you will be eaten into it you will not have your personal time so especially when you have a kid and you want you I had a very good flexibility in us the company I hardly work till 5:00 pm and then I was you know done done for the day so these questions were there but we decided that okay we will take up only certain positions and we will clearly
19:33 Define that we need that flexibility right yeah so I think many people are afraid to tell that to the employer right I feel that happens in many cases so for us it was like that for him he also I think he can continue where how he moved to that particular company and yeah then I had come yeah I think you mention up a very good point in the sense that U be up with the employer about your expectations and then also with the product companies things have evolved or changed in terms of the work culture yeah just one and be realistic I think we might get into that point afterwards right yes the other things of logistical planning now that was very simple okay for us like when to get like buy the car and we didn't buy a house okay that was another part of the planning yeah in the US actually in hind it might not have been the right option but we didn't buy it okay at that I didn't have and I the other reason was Trump winning was also reason because my green card was not coming because my company got acquired multiple times my
20:33 Green card never came got when I was in the US yeah right I was in the same company only but they change Brands and every time you have to refile the new name right in the same place so it didn't come and then Trump came like B is not going to happen so that was another trigger yeah cool I know I think you mentioned about on the financial side there is a certain amount I think that might be you know better to have as a corpus fund before the move is there anything that you can talk on that side yeah oh we are very bad on that
21:05 Like we had no idea on Corpus okay my only Corpus that I have in the US is my 401k which we have not moved yeah okay I did not save money I had some cash that we kept like you know that we still have which we are already spending more of right now so as I said we really enjoyed so know our job was was not like creating a corpus that was never in our so we did standard investing like we invested when we wanted to go to Europe so we had a really lavish trip in Europe like we didn't anything when you go to Vegas you will live in the best hotel so I didn't have any Corpus industry the only thing we had in mind when we come to India was that I need certain amount of money as a salary to maintain lifestyle got it in Mumbai yeah that I had in mind how much yeah right so that we had in but not so right now yeah no Corpus nothing we didn't bring back any money we didn't invest anything everything we built now the last five six years yes yeah so for
22:05 Us it was more like you know convenience is more important like we had a nanny for example for our son instead of putting him in a daycare or like that right so we spent on those things like getting a made to do the work cleaning yeah right it is un people do it but we had more frequency right people coming in cleaning you know frequently and so those kind of things builds up you know in your bills and things like that so saving was never like the first thing on the agenda it's not as to the extent others do we don't think and to be very clear a to you that we don't come from very rich families okay he don't come my dad was a normal worker his last salary was like 8,000 rupees before he passed away radhika's father has has been in the real estate industry and has gone up and down and both of them are not even graduates right so we don't come from Big B housekeep they have one house we have one we had one house right so it's not
23:07 That because we had lot of money in India came with nothing you know just the concept that we really want to enjoy the us for what it is yes we can I think it's a lifestyle that you want to have I know yeah makes sense so how is the life in India it's been close to 60 years how maybe you can tell me how it's been like over the six year period and what you expected and how it went and so
23:34 On so I'll start you at okay when I came my thought was I will adjust the fastest I very adjusting I will adjust the fastest my son will have a problem radika will have a problem because my mom is here and so we decided one thing we will stay close to our birth right and not stay with our parents with my mom my mom lived in tan I and my work was in VII in in Mumbai so we stayed in near Pai and so her office she like she's going to anyway find work initially we stayed with our parents for like my mom for three months right so I thought but what happened was I took the longest to adjust okay it took me almost two and a half years to adjust wow okay so and and it was mainly because of the fact that I was I'm a very organized person yeah India is not organized right even you stay in haai where you have a lot of people coming from abroad you know in this area where the services are better than you know most places I still had a challenge of interesting was simple things okay
24:35 Nothing major of that stuff that irrita all irritating stuff right for call a driver at one time he come half an hour leave you call a plumber he will come an hour M will come come I got sick then you have to cook right yeah all that stuff right yeah that time you had to go to the bank for everything yeah right 2018 I'm talking right now you don't have right so those kinds of things but but my son adjusted very fast yeah he was the fastest to adjust how old was he sorry he was 18 months 18 18 months okay very 18 months right so when we came we put him in Deer second first month itself because he has to search for a job and I took three months break okay when I came to India that was planned so we came in October I said I will not join it December yeah okay so I took a three month break because I wanted that adjustment she was looking for a job so we put him in D He adjusted the fastest and she also adjusted very well I was not surprised because she had never stayed with my mom and my brother I thought that would be a challenge but she adjusted very fast yeah but good
25:38 Part the other part that affected me was when I transferred to India I didn't I was going to transfer my own company but they didn't offer me at that point of time got it so I actually transferred with the a competitor of our us okay okay but the same field they said when could form a unit for us in India so I came through that and that was a change for me and they were not the company C for them because when I come to India my company culture in India the current company was working then and India was the same yeah but for so I like other compan like this because their culture the person who hired me there was my ex colleague okay okay so I thought the same here but here was very different right so we used to I used to work for us clients had to work in the evening this gu is like stay 9 toy at the office my boss was I'm like this is not happening because I to again work for 3 hours at night have to leave early to manage all that time right working in you understand that you have to be flexible if you work in other countries right so that happened so that also took
26:38 A toll on me because I was not enjoying my work yeah right so the first year that was a challenge but luckily my current boss who is the same company called me and said boss you want to come back yeah I got I got promoted you want to my job yeah so then I took that job and after that it's been good so that work part was taken care of right and then Co happened 2019 I joined 2020 Co happened then I don't know where the two and a half years went right but to be frank I would have it would have been help for me personally if I was the US attend during the covid time during the co time because I knew my mom was okay I could tell her mom wear a mask don't go outside if you need something I will get you yeah right every time there would be a l so our building is a very complex building like four five towers are there so they used to have like you know follow rules properly if there are two people who got they would lock down the whole building oh okay okay but my mom is in a single Standalone building so no
27:39 Rules like that so every time there used to be a lockdown here I used to run to my mom's house before they used to lock down yeah right so so that so when I was there I was able to help her yeah right then I used to took her to vaccination you know stand in line when it first came right she helped her mom in Chennai get this thing so that ways over time we got adjusted and I think living in P really helped yeah because depends on the yeah area area right if you had Chang T where my mom is we might have had a challenge because in p schools are good the people we have a lot of people who have gone abroad so the help you get the services you get they expect boss they will charge you a bit more like you know milk might be 70 to 75 right but they know I cannot miss it these guy expect that level of service yeah right so that was very helpful for me but then after 2 and a half years or so it was great so I think we've just gone strength on strength after that for me right again I was not
28:41 Very happy in my last job in US yeah I I was just waiting to switch but then I had this whole plan of coming back to India and reprocessing the H1 for every Dam thing is like it's a difficult thing so for me coming to India was like an from from you know working in that particular job but at the same time I realize that I have to be very clear on the expectation with any company and I have worked with like a total guju company also where you know people you know they take they check you know they check out your lunch hours also that kind of people and I currently I work in a completely different multinational also but the point is as I put forward again I was very clear see I will get your job done but just don't ask meab you know when are you coming when are you going those kind of questions please refrain from asking me and people at first take a pause when you say those things right but when they see that you
29:42 Are committed to what you're doing then they are okay with that yeah and for my son especially right I think the love he has for his grandma and his grandparents right we could never have that in us right for him it will be like oh come they play they everything but now his mom is like so happy always to have him around so we every weekend we'll go and he'll be like Grandma give me this Grandma give me that so that whole pampering right I mean no kid should ever not experience that I'll put it this way yeah so we and another thing ainash we do go to US every year yeah but I don't miss even a single day of you know it feels good for the first four days what a cal what a silence and then I'm like no I need that sound I need to be around people and and everything right like India has become at least for me at this point of time
30:43 Right anything I want I get it whether it is the type of doctor or getting to the doctor getting to the to the appointment getting things done people yeah and I don't have any allergies in India right per say so I think we are still good healthy and you know thriving and in India right if you don't find one option there's always a second option for everything right like you have the flexibility if I don't like a job I can quit and sit and I can switch over this is only for H1B folks right like you have this thing oh my God if I lose the job I mean it's it's a very tough thing there and the kind of things that are happening and this whole woke culture right I have a problem with W culture yeah so yeah that's the other part right
31:44 I think I went in 2004 you probably went in 2003 2005 some that range right I don't know but I saw drastic change the US between that and 2018 yeah it's very different like I went to Arizona which supposed to be a red state right not supposed for immigrants and stuff I was so welcoming right you know people are so nice to me like you know like when I first went obviously like you know you probably also gone through that right I got invited got into families where they would invite you for Thanksgiving and Halloween and you know you know and you become part of a family like every year you get get invit those things then slowly that when when started getting eroded like it like it was very different at that time right and it felt very different so yeah I think all of that said right I think all of us really we loved India I think one of the biggest things I would suggest to anybody's right work is the biggest thing I think that is one big thing I'm about you need to be really getting the right work and what you enjoy and work
32:46 Here is very different than in the US very different right in the US I never spent I had a team there yeah but I probably spent 5% in people management yeah here I spent 50% in people somebody fell down somebody's P electrican come some lady didn't come half the time out to do that to motivate them to do everything there you give the work it gets done yeah I think for people they really need to know what they're expecting from work right what do they want they will not get everything right my point was but if they pay me I will figure it out yeah right and I had a certain number in my head and I did my research on that how much you can get how much you cannot get yeah about maintaining lifestyle what we had in us not see we had a good lifestyle I wouldn't call it lavish but yes we didn't save any money but at the same time in Mumbai also we wanted to make sure that we are able to afford the whole reason we are coming to Mumbai is
33:46 That we get an extra support right we live in a place where the community is good we get good M so that you know we can focus on our child than doing all those miscellaneous tasks at home so those things initially again there is a misconception that you'll get time but you don't even managing that Ma becomes like a time consuming task sometimes you feel okay let my son grow up to 10 I will just you know basically remove all the M yeah that is one thing in India that I find challenging is that I remember in the US even though we did all our dishes and we cooked every single day we had time on the weekends like Saturday we would do dishes we would do laundry we would do shopping and that was iritating but here you don't seem to have our weekends family or something happened like last weekend my my sister is going to the US to study we had gone to see her my company kept an event on Saturday so Cate that is one thing I do miss personally I do like some my alone time
34:48 That I don't get and that also Ed me a lot it is it's that way and yes companies especially right work culture many people still like to close their laptop at five which will not happen here yes that I will definitely tell you you can dream about it in a product company probably it might happen but if you are in a Consulting space right like we both are in that sort of a region after covid there is a lot of difference in the work culture in India people are demanding work life balance like anything even the Juniors right so there is definitely people are understanding about your flexibility but it doesn't mean that you can finish your work at five because essentially you are still working in the Outsourcing sort of a model where you work with Europeans or Americans if you have to make the money yeah you that's the only place like if you go to say Reliance or tatas right you they you will not get paid that you want to get paid they still they pay Indian salaries that is another thing when you're coming to India either come to startups right
35:51 Where they pay you when you have esops or come to multinationals which are and you can work for a global client so that you know you technically get paid in dollars or Euros or Pounds and you get paid in got it I think the key thing is to underline and understand the work culture difference I know it's evolved but you still feel there is a big difference in terms of the work culture the style even the people management and so on and people have to have the true understanding of what to expect you know from a career perspective with the mo thank you and
36:24 Other thing is people if they are very technical like in it field right if they are working for something groundbreaking right you won't get that in India unless that company itself nominates you to do that in India you understand that so there is always this backseat work that you are doing still I know that many companies now have their own product arm in India but are they doing essentially the Breakthrough stuff not really sure right that I do not have much information on but I don't also see a lot of people coming from that right so we for example in the company I work they are always trying to hire gen AI Engineers but we did not groom any gen AI Engineers to get the work so it automatically goes to us you know that work goes to us so that way if somebody is in suppose science field right the biology field for them also they don't at least from a couple of my friends said they didn't find that work satisfying in India right so the research work is still great in us and all those breakthrough stuff like
37:26 Blockchain and AI is good Cloud yes cloud is good in India but anything that requires you to have more research oriented work it is it's still it's bit challenging yes there are companies that are doing it you have to find your Niche you have to find a way to get into those companies but I think it is far more easier to do that in us than it is in India makes sense got it is there anything that we haven't covered that you wanted to bring up from your journey that would help future
37:58 Friends first if you are coming as a couple get on the same page if both of you are not on the same page you're done yeah okay there should not be even element of doubt before you come and I think the family relationship also right many of the women have with them or staying near them or whatever right in my case I'm blessed with a very good mother-in-law right I would like to stay with her than away from her it's a different scenario for me so for me the decision was very easy because of my mother-in-law right if I had a difficult in-laws I would tell my husband we will stay 100 kilometers or something away and we will you know do these things but why we decided to stay away also is because we like our home decorated in certain way things in a certain way so that's why we choose not not because of Any you know particular reason that we don't want to stay with any of the parents we want to be near but not like strangling them yeah and if
39:01 Your main reason to come to India is to take care of your parents most of the time it will fail okay you will not be happy I mean you won't be happy has to come and if you stayed as long as we stayed or you stayed right your parents your family has moved on yeah they have their own life like my mom has his own life in her area my brother has his own life my mother-in-law father-in-law has their own life my friends have their own life my best friends have their own life we don't Jive like I have the hardest thing I have found is to make friends yeah yes because I came in the 40s right very difficult you have a ideology you almost rigid in your mindset you have some beliefs sometimes you have to get them sometimes in India meeting and evenings is drinking I love drinking I love my Scotch but I don't get drunk yeah right like coming from America you understand right people have a drink in the evening but it is not to get drunk just to socialize talk about and the other thing about living in us also right there is a bit of
40:02 Mentality difference in women right we talk about more than managing families and kids you I hang out we hang out we do have fun here still even if you are in an extensive locality and everything the women focus and the ideas and the discussion is more around gossips and you know kids and the husband I think the equality that we have in US does not exist here still women are you know lower hand and I think that part women mostly women get affected most when they come here right because they have to again be the you know follow the Traditions follow them strictly because people are closely observing you now Mumbai is different but I think this if this would this is one of the reason I didn't move to Chennai because it's too much pressure around relatives are you not celebrating this why are you not doing this and people have you know unwelcomed entries so which I really wanted to avoid so these are other
41:04 Things that you need to really consider are you okay to get through those pressure is your partner able to support you many case the partners do not contribute at home even in us right so we need to make sure that the partner contributes and they continue to do that when they are in India also yeah otherwise then the decision will look really bad you know like it's like everything is become on one person make sure the work as I said is good make sure the work is good make sure how much money you want also be realistic right to be very Frank if you want to come within 10 years unless you have a real specialty skill you will not get the money right the only reason I got it was I spent 14 years in the company and I had a really good name I I'm not a technical expert but people knew me as a person who can get stuff done right in the right place right time so as I said make sure you're aligned with your this thing aligned with your spouse yeah right make sure you have a
42:05 Realistic idea on the job what you're going to get what you're not going to get right what type of company you would work for startups it sounds very nice but startup culture is very similar to Indian working culture right it's not it's not very modern because people are very young half the startup people have not even seen you know 20 30s have seen nothing right so you expect them to work even they funded by Sak or something they still work in Indian way on you so that is something take care of why are you coming don't come for your parents come for yourself see that you will build you know want to build a career or build a family or what figure out which city you want to stay in right do you want a big city because many people are going to smaller cities like go to jaur indor Amad and I'll work there from there I will do for the US right and be realistic there's one guyed yesterday saying I I'm going to work for Apple from here in Us times right I'm like it sounds very very nice to start with first month one six months or you will go but then you can't work us time every single day you will affect your health you go crazy if you working like you know 8:00 p.m. to or I don't
43:08 Know 2 2 a.m. at night so have some of those cers make if you want to for to bring money back to India then live that lifestyle there right my my friend wanted to buy a big house in India so they spent saved a lot of money everything was second hand in their house right and so they could throw everything away when they came saved her money came bought her home staying in Pune nicely with her parents yeah so have your priorities very clear yeah on what you're doing talk a lot right we used to talk a lot we used to fight a lot but we got spoke about everything I told we spoke as small as things is that we will buy a scooter when we go first for the first six months we will not buy a car yeah right even we buy a car we will buy five lakh car the starting car at that time 5 now seven eight lakhs yeah yeah buy the cheapest car even though we could have afforded a BMW with the work we had yeah like let's buy the cheapest car let's make sure we keep our expenses less for start then we will expand yeah and another thing is the time you get back
44:08 Right in us most of our travel would go to India now we travel within India where we actually use our Vacations so that is the best part G more vacation in India than went to the US yes every I mean we and it is Affordable right in us the even with a good salary I don't think I mean as we said right we have to plan a trip to India then we have to save these many thousand dollars right to come here but when I do it in India right every I mean I go every I think we did that also in us where we will take a weekend and go to Big Bear or some place you know that that is there but here it's more easier for some reason I at least it's it's a mental block I yes it's more more easier to go travel and you know at the same time enjoy the company of your family take them along or no don't take them along just go alone so it's it's really good that way and you need some luck yeah need some luck at the end yes
45:10 To work out everything to work out right for us thankfully this worked out we enjoying it the other thing that worked out we got our green card after we came back yeah okay my was in the same company I went back to the old company they had it going suddenly was like come take now we have it now other other CH how to keep it yeah so my son is American right so now how do we keep it and you know so we are trying to work on that as well so we go every year we enjoy it is my second mie it is my second like I call it my K yeah I spent 14 years right I have so many friend there so many my son was born there I met my wife there like some amazing amazing memories like every time I go I'm like I miss this like Mexican food as an example yes right see Mrs national parks right The Greenery right some sometimes sometime you find really nice people they are very nice yeah so anyways so no that's great yeah I'm sure you know as we go through this in the different phase of
46:11 The life of the journey right I think you experience different things and just have to make sure your priorities are clear and what you need in the Life at that given point of time and then make a decision I think that's a key thing and get to and make a decision such that you make a decision out of position of strength I was in a position of strength when my my company why the are you going I'm going to promote you next month like you know her job was like why are you leaving an important person we are like but many people you know sometimes they have to unfortunately come because they got laid off or you know job is not working creating grow try to do it at a position of strength when you can yeah obvious something you can't control but that would be also helpful you can make the right choice yeah so thanks a lot radika and wet for taking the time sharing your journey with us lot of valuable information good luck with everything and thanks again thank you thank you have a good day bye
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