We Never Planned to Leave the UK... Until This Happened to Our Son | Our Return to India Story

3:00 About the reasons I think the experiences that you have on a day-to-day and what made you to think about returning to India. Was that always there in the back of the mind or is it just because of these experiences that made the decision to move back to India like solidified? so actually we never planned anything both of us are like that like we want to explore new opportunities and till the time we didn't have our son we were like just whatever opportunity we were getting we were going into it like first we went to Cape Town we never thought we'll settle there it was just like experience we wanted to have as much as we can and that's how like we just went around the things as and when they came to us so that's how we went to London we never imagined we will settle there but We never imagined we will come back as well.

3:48 >> It was just an open plan. >> But then when we went there, we we were already very set here in India as well. We were earning well. We had a good life. But then it was an opportunity and we thought why not? Because it's a developed country. It's it's like financial capital of the world and we are going to work in the financial sector in London. So why not? >> So that's how we went there. then like gradually we started to have some experiences like you know social life it was not as good as India. We had a very big family. We have a very big family very big friend circle in India. And then when we went there for initial 6 months it was very cold. The weather was very depressing. It was hard to meet new people. We were not you know getting that that kind of social social exposure. We try to join different groups but I think we felt like people are very formal. The friendships are very transactional. It's not like India like we have friends in India we can depend on but it was not possible there.

4:50 So this was like initial experiences and gradually we in terms of career as well though both of us were earning well we were doing very good financially but then couple like we noticed that the growth is not as expected I mean after certain package after certain salary you reach there the growth is very less like if you talk about the appraisals yearly cycles it's hardly 3% 5% and the cost the inflation is growing more than that. >> So we noticed that that was one of the thing and then we went to London. We had a small child with us. He was 2 years at that time. >> So we noticed the child care was very very expensive. This [clears throat] was one of the reason as well though like everybody says that the education is free there. It is true up to a some extent the school starts at four like when the your child turns four >> but before that you have to send them to child care >> and as both of us were working we had to

5:51 Send him like we didn't have any option so the child care the monthly cost for child care was around 1,500 to2,000 >> so in most of the cases like when someone is earning like a single person it's half of the salary so that cost was very high This was again one of the factors we thought like we are spending too much on child care and we didn't have any support at home as well >> and we are getting very less time to you know enjoy with our son because both of us were working going to offices coming back he's also going for full day. So this is this was one of the observation we had initially and then like the worst experience we had was about the medical system. So couple as my child was very small couple of times he you know he he fell down or he had some injuries and it was fine like when it is not a very big thing but once like he fell down from a table and he had a cut in his head.

6:52 >> It was very serious and he was bleeding we took him to emergency and we sat there for 10 hours and we didn't get any medical medical intervention. So it was it was very disheartening as a parent to see your child suffering for 10 10 hours straight without any medical intervention and even after 10 hours you know doctor came and then he said that he he looks fine just go >> he didn't do anything I mean not a single scan because it was a head head injury >> we were we were very very scared like what will happen but then he told us like observe him for a for a week and then come back >> so we didn't like we didn't like it that way and from that time I think we became a little serious like we want to come back because this is not like even after earning so much having so much financial independence we can't choose like where we can go with with our son you know we can get immediate intervention >> so these are like some of the factors some of the observations we had so we

7:52 Decided you know to come back

7:54 >> okay so when was this decision made and when did you actually pull the trigger to you know move I know you said it was like you know a month back. So when did this thought about moving back to India become stronger? >> Okay. So this incident when what I have discussed about my son that happened last year. >> Okay. >> in January. So after that like we were sure that we want to come back because even both of us we had couple of medical issues and we were not getting appointments and like even for a simple thing a GP appointment it was taking months. for my [clears throat] husband as well. It this this is a continuous process happening with three of us. >> So [clears throat] yeah, so last year we decided that we want to come back then like everyone I started searching like on internet about the groups and that's how I found your group as well. couple of other groups I joined then the first point is like we don't want to go like this like we either one of us should have a job in hand because both of us were very you know doing very

8:56 Good financially so we just didn't want to come like this leaving everything apart >> so that's how like we started our journey we started searching for jobs so I think it was a long process for both of us to find the job it was not easy because both of us were working at a very senior position so coming back at the same position though we were not expecting the same kind of packages because we know like there's a purchase parity difference but we wanted similar kind of positions. >> So it was not easy. we tried LinkedIn, we tried different referrals and I gave lot of interviews and I was like constantly asked like why you want to come back because everybody wants to go from India and you want to come back. So it is not a regular scenario. >> Yeah. and couple of places like I got selected and like HR told me why should we select you if you don't come like what will happen because it's a waste of time for both of us >> so it happens with many ris like she told me like they give interviews they check the salary and they don't join back

9:56 >> so yeah it's a it was a long process it was a one-year process we were struggling we were getting feedbacks from every everybody like how to find job how to come back that's how like it took took us like one year to plan everything to find a job and that's how like we decided. >> Got it. So let's talk on the career side. You know you and your husband have been working in India. You have an understanding of the work culture and and you have connections because you spend quite a good amount of time working in India for different companies. So what are some tips and tricks or some suggestions that you would give especially for someone who is typically like you know who work for 10 15 years abroad or like you know have that experience and looking back I know you mentioned you went through certain things what worked for you and what are the sgestions that you would give if someone is looking for a career opportunities in India?

10:50 >> So I think initially I used LinkedIn

10:53 A lot. I try to send personal invitations to the people who are at managerial levels. So whenever I was searching for any job, I try to find the hiring managers. >> So as as I mentioned, I have various contract [clears throat] contacts in India. So I ask my friends like this is a position I'm seeing on LinkedIn. Can you find out the hiring manager? So I try to directly connect with them. I try to explain them like this is my case. I am I am very serious to come back. It's not like just a gimmick that I am giving an interview and finding the you know packages. I want to come back. I explained everything >> and this is like one of the thing I tried and then the other is referral definitely. So I had many contacts. I asked them like please can you refer me because it's been like 5 years I'm out of India again. So >> though I am in contact with them but it's not very it's a very formal contact now. So they are not very close.

11:45 >> So I try to explain everybody like this is my scenario. So I want to come back. I am very sure I want to come back. so I think LinkedIn and the referrals are best. These are the two things that work for us. And I think in most of I would suggest like one one of the person should get the job first and then you can plan ahead because in our case my my husband got the job first through referral only and then once he got the job it was very easy for me. Yeah. Because whenever I gave interview I I confidently told HR that I'm going to come back because my husband got a job and these are the tickets these are the flight tickets he is coming back. >> So I think if one of the person gets job it becomes easier for other. >> Got it.

12:30 >> So while moving back how did you choose where you wanted to relocate to in India? >> Okay so both of like I started my career from Pune. So that's that's where we came back. I had a fair idea of the city. I lived there for 8 years so I know the city like and I was very familiar and I was very sure that I wanted to come back there. So that is one of the reason because I spend a lot of time in Pune I was sure I want to come back >> and other considerations as well in terms of you know poll pollution traffic I know like many people when they they want to move back the first consideration in their mind comes about the pollution part because it's it's a very sensitive topic for most of the people. So that was one of the consideration as well irrespective of the package or whatever I didn't want to go to you know Delhi region because this was in my mind as well. So this was one of the consideration. So everything like in terms of familiarity with the city in terms of familiarity with the people the cost of living. So Pune was

13:33 Our first choice because we spend both of us spent a quite good amount of time in Pune. >> Got it. And that's how you are looking even for the opportunities in Pune as a primary op. Okay. >> Yeah. Yes, our first option was Pune. Always both of us were concentrating on Pune. That's that's that is the reason it took us one year as well because [clears throat] we were not open for other positions. We were specifically looking for Pune and specifically looking for senior positions. >> Yes, got it.

14:00 >> And also wondering have you considered any other place to relocate to instead of India? Right. I mean I think some of the reasons that you mentioned was healthcare, medical, you know, maybe some of the cost of living. have you thought about any other place other than India? >> I think yeah, we thought about Dubai a wave. Everybody was talking like Dubai, Dubai, Dubai. we tried to find jobs in Dubai. But I think in terms of seniority and all so both of us were working in financial sector, investment banks, we were not getting enough opportunities in Dubai. I tried to search on LinkedIn, I tried to search on no. So there are various websites for Dubai, UAE. I tried on all of them. So the kind of roles we were looking, kind of salaries we were looking, we were I don't know like maybe it is just my case but we were not getting that kind of roles.

14:53 >> Got it. Understood. yeah.

14:55 >> So I mean I think you kind of touched on few points right like the air pollution like some of the things. So it's not always the perfect place in India too. I mean you kind of highlighted some of the day-to-day things that you have experienced which motivated you to return back to return to India. So what about the work culture right? I think you know the work life balance like a lot of people are concerned about it you know working in India and you are someone who worked for quite a significant amount of time in India and then you have experienced how it would be in abroad. So what was your take on that particular aspect about the work culture work life balance and also the opportunities to grow? I know this is I think you said something that you mentioned subtly in terms of the appraisals the increment versus the inflation but what how does the opportunities look in India too in that fashion.

15:46 >> Okay. I think work life balance is not generic in India. So as I mentioned I worked in India for 10 years. So I had mixed experience at some places like initially when I started my career I find it bad like in service B specifically I worked for couple of companies where in terms of work life balance it was not very good >> but then as I grew on my career in India as well I found out like it's me who need to define like what I want to like how I want to work it should be me not the other person if my if I complete my work then there is nobody like I I I am not questionable able to anybody. So [clears throat] that's how like I think it's >> it's my style. Even abroad also I'm like that like I like to complete my work, get it done and then I I don't like think about anything else. So that's how I I grew in India. Initially it was difficult but then as I grew in my career I was good at my work. I knew that and then my managers were happy. So

16:47 I think I found couple of good people as well who who motivated me, who mentored me and who gave me good suggestions and I think you find all kind of people everywhere. >> So that's how in India as well it it was kind of a mixed experience. So for me it was not that bad. So that's why I know many people think like coming back it it'll be bad culture and all for me it was a mixed experience. So I I I was positive like it's not generic. I can get a better better experience as well. It's not a generic thing. >> And now when I'm coming back, I'm coming back at a senior position. So I'll be defining the work culture for my team. So that basically I think I am a kind of a person I'm very ambitious in terms of my career even abroad like I wanted to take the leadership role senior roles and then I think I took the owner owners on my my head like it will be my responsibility to define the work culture because in India as well I had a manager like before going abroad she

17:48 Was from US she came back and she mentored me beautifully I mean she was very good she gave me a very good impression of how a manager should be. >> So now coming back at her level, I want to define the work culture for other people. >> Yeah, >> it's my respons responsibility. That's what I thought. Definitely like in Europe, the work culture is better. Nobody questions you. So in UK it was it was like 9 to5. If I'm completing my work, nobody questioned me. So yeah, it is very good there. But in India, I think it's improving slightly. And when the people are coming at senior levels, it's their responsibility to you know correct it whatever is not there >> to define that work culture. How about

18:28 The opportunities to grow I mean in India compared to on the western world in terms of career progression and so on. >> I think in India I found like now like I have many friends who are women and they are excelling in their career. I found like in India opportunity for women are more because they have lot of diversity hiring these days. Even I got hired as a diversity in within diversity hiring. So in abroad definitely I mean the opportunities are there but then being an Indian women the support system was missing at home. So you have to take care of your kid as well. You have to do your household chores as well and then you have to excel your excel within your career. So it was getting slightly difficult as a woman.

19:16 >> Yeah. Though both of us were contributing equally but I think there was a mother's guilt within me that I am at my office and my I'm not meeting my son. I'm coming back back at 7:00 he's sleeping at 7:30. So there was kind of you know constant guilt within me that I'm not giving him enough time not you know cooking for him. It it's not like nobody's telling me to cook but it was a mother's guilt. >> Yeah. So that that part was little challenging in terms of support but in India I found like when I came back now so I'm joining at a very senior position again. So I talked to my manager like I have a small baby and like you know I have a responsibility at home so I want a better you know work life balance unlike other people who tell that there is balance in India. So so my manager is from UK again so he supported me. He said that that's fine.

20:08 You can go back at home whenever if there is a call or something you can take it take it from home. So it's not not an issue. So I think I have worked towards like the better work life balance in India. I think in terms of you know if you are a women you get better support at home and then the growth opportunities are better. There's lot of diversity hiring happening and then you can grow up in the ladder very quickly >> if you are a woman. Yeah. The other

20:35 Point that you kind of touched about is the you know the daycare cost right for the kids and you know how expensive it is. So if you look at it from a overall savings you know there is a par like you know purchase parity difference in terms of the salaries that you get abroad versus in India when you look at the net savings what has been your experience you know like working in abroad versus in India because the cost of living is different in India. Yeah. what are your thoughts or insights on that from your experience? I think in terms of saving if I calculate I am saving in India more because of the lifestyle I had in in UK as well I had a house help because both of us were working and we needed someone to you know do the cooking part both of both of us were very busy and after coming from office at 7 I didn't want to you know get involved in cooking and give no time to my son >> so that was one of the aspect child care was very expensive and then I was

21:37 Sending my kid to multiple classes because I wanted him to you know learn a lot and be socially active. So overall cost was very high though we were earning good even the EMIs the rent they were very high. So yeah, so overall in terms of if we look at the lifestyle we were living there, it was it was kind of a similar saving and when I came back though it is not like they didn't match my salary but in terms of cost of living and purchase parity of India I am getting a good salary a comparable salary what I was getting in UK and with all those expenses similar kind of lifestyle I'm saving more in India. >> makes sense. Thanks for that. And how is

22:17 The family doing after moving to India? a kid you and your husband like how is the life in India now? >> so in terms of my son he's only five so it was very easy for him. So my main worry was about his school because I chose a holistic school for him because he's coming from that environment. I just didn't want to give him more pressure. I wanted to him to relax to enjoy and I mean get accustomed to Indian ways and everything. So yeah, so he is almost settled in his school. It's been a month. He's enjoying there. He made lot of friends in the township. We are living in a township, a gated community. >> So it's very easy for him. So he just go downstairs, meet other kids. He's playing with him. We have every all the amenities within the society like soft play, >> everything, all the sports. So he's enjoying it. For him, it was comparatively easy. I was worried a lot, but he took it very very nicely. for my husband like he came into a very

23:19 Senior position so he came back and right right away joined his company he has 4 days of working but his office is just 5 minutes away from our place >> okay >> so it's it's very easy for him as well and in UK he never went to office so it was a complete remote working for him so he is enjoying that change because he wanted to socialize more for me I was going to office 4 days in UK and here I'm going 2 place it it's kind of a chill for me. I wanted that because I was having a very hectic life there. So all of us are getting adjusted and then our parents are here as well for our support. So it's kind of good. I mean we are not missing anything. We are gradually you know getting accustomed.

24:05 >> is there anything that we haven't covered that you want to bring up from your transition from your planning? >> I would say I mean it's a very individualistic decision. It's it's all about your priority. I would say like it's there is a no right or wrong decision in here. >> Yes. >> I mean it's all depend what you prioritize in life. I won't say UK was bad or good. It was an experience we wanted to have as a family of a developed country because you know if you don't go you always regret in your life that we get we got the opportunity and we didn't took it but the main reasons for us like we both of us we were very much connected to our family. We are like in all all the decisions in in our life whatever we took till now we always kept our family together like informing them bringing them. So in UK as well after shifting we brought our parents there for vacation just after one year. So because initially we thought like maybe we would settle here and we wanted our parents to come there

25:06 You know frequently because we never wanted to just live there and never you know visit them or visit them occasionally. We wanted to have a frequent connection with them. They came there but then after 15 20 days it was very difficult for them. They said that we are not enjoying and we also felt like it's it's not fair on our part to keep them and they are not enjoying there. >> So this was again one of the experience our parents didn't enjoy. We brought them till the time we were taking them out you know visiting the places they were okay but then after some time they were like no this is not the life we we are enjoying >> so they came came back I think after a month and then after next year that after that we asked them again do you want to come and they were like no it's better you come back we we don't want to come >> so this was again one of the major factors because our parents were not interested to come there >> and as a as their child we >> as as their kids we also didn't want to force them.

26:05 >> So this was one of the thing and then you know for my son I think I felt for 7 months in a year it was dark after four. So the social life that you know the cultural aspect the social life the liveless that was missing for him. So we enrolled him in lot of you know after school clubs lot of activities but after coming from school if it is dark even I wasn't very interested to take him out to the garden and I mean he was also not he was he was not enjoying that part so this was again one of the reason so these are like some of the reasons which we you know brainstormed about like these are many reasons and then financially as well like when we got the job in India we calculated did everything and we were like if we are saving the same amount like what is the purpose?

26:59 >> So this was the question we asked ourselves and that's how like we came to this decision. >> Yeah. As you said I mean it's everybody's priorities are different and depends on what they want. I mean just chose the place that would be appropriate for that as you said. Yeah.

27:14 Yeah. >> Cool. So yeah any final advice for people who are thinking about moving to India? anything that you wanted to share? Yeah, I mean if you are really interested to move back, I would say just you know close your ears because there's lot of noise that will come to your way. It happened with us as well. Like last year when we decided we told our friends and they were they were like no it it's not a good decision. You are doing so great. Why you want to go back? And there were some people like you're degrading your life. Some of them told us like if you have taken a decision you you should be stick to it. Why you why you want to like they so it's kind of like different people will give you different advices for some it is kind of a you know status symbol as well it how it doesn't matter like what kind of friendship it is or whatever like every person has different varieties in life >> you have to think about yourself whatever you are thinking just write it down we made a we made an excel we actually made an excel about everything

28:15 Pros cons we calculated everything it was not like hush decision that we thought like just go and next day we came back. No, we took one year. We calculated everything. We calculated everything in terms of our career as well. What will be the growth path? What will be our next thing? Because we both of us are in it. We know like after 5 years we don't know the future. >> We wanted to start something of our own as well. >> So which country will give you you know benefit over that? That was one of the consideration as well because India is our country. We don't have visa issues. We have a lot of support, we have a lot of connections, it is a favorable situation if you want to start anything new, any business something like that, you have lot of support at home as well. >> So yeah, so if you want to come back and even if you're half-minded like you are not fully sure, I would suggest don't you know stop listening to people analyze what you have in your mind where your heart and mind is taking you. So more advice you will listen more

29:16 Confusion it'll bring. So it is better you know just be quiet for six seven months take your time take your good time analyze everything write it down and then you know gradually take your decision. >> Yeah very well valid points I mean I think you know they are all thinking as a well wishes but they might not understand your particular person individual circumstances. You are the only one who can think through it. Yeah. >> Nobody is in your shoes. They don't know right and even if you know you pretend to be happy sometimes you're not happy from inside. >> So you don't know like you don't know every everyone has different mindset. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So yeah thank you very much Gara for taking the time sharing your journey and the thought process behind moving back to India as well as some of the nuances or the insights in the career transition. So really appreciate your you know experiences and insights that you shared.

30:12 >> No problem. Thank you. >> Thanks. >> [music]