Why This Family Did a 2.5 Year Trial Run in India After 15 Years in Denmark
After 15 years in Denmark, this family did a 2.5 year trial run in India. The trigger? Their kids faced racism in Danish schools. An 8-year-old's comment on the flight—'we look alike here'—revealed how much the children felt like outsiders. Learn about their adjustment journey.
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Why This Family Did a 2.5 Year Trial Run in India After 15 Years in Denmark
After 15 years in Denmark, this family's trial run in India was triggered by their children facing racism. An 8-year-old's comment on the flight revealed how much they felt like outsiders. Here's their 2.5 year journey.
Related planning guides: If this question is part of your broader return plan, also review moving back to India from USA guide and moving back to India from Canada guide.
Key Insights from This Story
- 15 years in Denmark—moved for husband's work
- Kids faced racism in Danish schools—bullying, hitting
- 8-year-old's comment: "We look alike here"—felt like outsiders
- Trial run 2.5 years—kids adjusted in 6-8 months
- Health challenges: Dengue, typhoid in first 6-9 months
- Key insight: Parents struggle more than kids to adjust
Background: Life in Denmark
The Journey to Denmark
- Origin: Born and brought up in Hyderabad
- Marriage: Arranged marriage to husband already in Denmark
- Move: February 2009 to Copenhagen
- Duration: 15 years in Denmark
Denmark: The Good
- Work-life balance: "Very good—you're not stressed out when working"
- Best for small kids: Can give children most of your time
- Leaves: Not forced to skip leaves
- Beautiful place: Scandinavian culture allows exploration
Why Consider Returning?
The Triggers
- Kids growing: Would lose connectivity to native country
- Age 10 deadline: "If they cross that age, I cannot convince them"
- Weather: Long, cold winters
- Language: Barrier in Danish-only environments
- Emptiness: "Feels little empty and lonely when you are alone"
The Racism That Changed Everything
⚠️ Danish School Experience
The family tried putting kids in Danish curriculum school:
- They were the only Indians in school
- Younger son faced bullying—"I don't want to go to school"
- Elder son was repeatedly hit by classmates
- He was one of the smartest kids—classmates were jealous
- He never told parents—only discovered when a girl reported it
- He had gotten used to it—was becoming introvert
The Flight Moment
On the Air India flight to India, the 8-year-old said:
The mother was shocked: "This is getting too much. He started to see the difference in how people treated them. It's a very young age for him to think about it so much."
The Trial Run Approach
The Planning
- Husband's situation: Office roots in India, travels frequently
- Wife's decision: "I have risk appetite—I will resign and try it out"
- Agreement: "You focus on work, I focus on family"
- Timing: Came for a wedding, admissions were happening—enrolled kids immediately
School Selection
- Chose ICSE curriculum (similar to GCSE in Denmark)
- Introduced kids to mentors
- Explained situation: "Please understand them if they get confused"
- Mentors were very supportive
Kids' Adjustment Challenges
Initial Culture Shocks
| Challenge | Details |
|---|---|
| Books | Didn't know difference between textbook and notebook |
| Margins | Teacher tore paper—didn't know what margins were |
| Corporal punishment | "Teachers hit here!"—shocked by physical discipline |
| Things missing | Items would go missing at school |
The Margin Incident
The mother told the teacher: "I'm on a trial run. If they get irritated, I have to pack my bags and go completely."
✅ After 6-8 Months
- Kids were fine and adjusted
- Got into comfort zone
- Elder son: "I know how to score marks—you don't have to yell at me"
- Made 10-15 friends in the community
- Ride bikes, visit grandmother, take care of elders
Health Challenges
⚠️ The Unexpected Challenge
- Both kids got 5 fevers in first months
- Included dengue and typhoid
- Bodies not familiar with 103-104°F fevers
- In Denmark: Only cold/cough, just take paracetamol
Doctor's Explanation
He gave medicines to strengthen their gut. After that, things improved.
Friend's Experience
Another friend who moved faced similar challenges:
- Was in hospital for 3 months
- Said: "I could not take it anymore without my husband"
- Went back to Denmark
The mother stayed because her intent was very strong.
The Key Insight: Parents vs Kids
The Realization
What Parents Struggle With
- Living with extended family: "We tolerate 100 people outside but cannot tolerate our own people at home"
- Independence: Used to nuclear family decisions
- Relatives: Unexpected visits, loss of freedom
- Comparison: "In Denmark it wasn't like this"—mind constantly compares
The Positive Side
Kids now take care of grandmothers, show compassion:
Future Plans
Current Thinking
- Healthcare and education: "Seems really challenging here"
- School fees: Paying high fees—questioning value for university
- Goal: Train kids to be comfortable in both nations
- Not influencing: "I like it here, my husband likes it there—let kids decide"
Advice for Others
- Be mentally prepared—until convinced, don't move
- Spouse must be on board—critical for peace of mind
- Don't compare—India and abroad are totally different
- Give it 2 years minimum—adjustment takes time
- Expect health challenges—first 6-9 months are tough
Considering a Trial Run in India?
Connect with families who've done trial runs and learn from their experiences.
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